Inspirations flooding in....

Hmm.. I wonder... am I getting more inspirations to scribble for the coming weeks? I just wonder.. Hmm.. well, I feel excited about things and yet at the same time, I want to walk closely with Him.. I desire to be in line with Him in all that I do..

Though at the moment I may not see it, I just have this tinkling feeling that many beautiful things would take place in the coming weeks...... It has begun.... and I know deep down that God would surprise me again and again.... yippee..... can't wait to be surprised by Him!.. *wink*

And, I thought the photo I have taken last Saturday was just appropriate for this post....... the pathway.. walking the pathway of life.. It is a journey.. and, as I walk this journey of life, I am experiencing many stuff... and God is walking with me..... teaching me to appreciate His people.. to appreciate His nature.. more and more.... how awesome could this get? no words to describe except to be awed by Him.......... *grin*

"Some time later the brook dried up......."

the title phrase was taken from 1 Kings 17:7... and the story of Elijah that I am going to scribble about here was taken from 1 Kings 17:1-16... and this was shared at my church in the UK (St John's) a week ago..... Below is the passage; New International Version...

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1 Kings 17:1 - 16

Elijah Fed by Ravens

1 Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."
2 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."
5 So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

The Widow at Zarephath

7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?"

11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

******

The preacher emphasized "radical obedience"... looking at how Elijah stepping out in faith and in obedience.. and as Elijah did that, surprisingly, the brook dried up some time later which indicates that obedience could also bring us to a place of barrenness and of lack... It is not a sign or indication of disobedience.. Instead, it is in that place of waiting and of lack, God challenges the picture of us putting Him in the Box... It is in those times that we really see what is inside us and how much do we really trust Him....... I find this particularly interesting. Why so? well.. somehow, I felt that I am at that place of lack.. that place of waiting..... hmm..

So, why did God takes Elijah to that place of barrenness and of lack? looking at the passage above, we could see that God uses that and Elijah to bring about a miracle for Elijah.... On top of that, it is also to bring supernatural provision to a widow and her son.. In another words, bringing blessings to others. And the preacher shared that miracle happens when we run out of our own resources... and that the only people who get miracles are those who need them..... Much truth to chew on and yet, I just able to identify with them..

Finally, the preacher also stated that those waiting times are also birthing times... to birth desires within... It is when God wants to birth something deep inside....... Deep, huh? profound, most definitely..... And it excited me as I listened to the sermon that day...... It triggered much thoughts and I just want to run to God to talk to Him about them....... heeeeee...

Waiting is tough!..

oh yes, it is tough.. I have to be very honest about it.. What else could I scribble about it? It is really a matter of choosing how I look at it.. optimistically or pessimistically? I would love to be optimistic about it. However, I realize at this moment that I was trying very hard to be optimistic but somehow, my whole body language and behaviors do not project it..

Maybe I am trying too hard? Maybe I am relying on my own strength instead of God's? Oh bummer!.. Maybe that is why!..

How do I overcome this? It feels like time is running out.... and I am still stuck!.. bummer.. bummer... I wonder what God is saying in all this? What am I to learn from this? Why the wait? How long more to wait? What am I to do? and I could feel that things are falling apart.... or is it just my vivid imagination? is this the "evil" at work..? trying to make me think that things are falling apart? hmmmmmmmmm....

Actually, come to think of it, since my life was picked up by God from pieces and made whole two years ago; He knows what He is doing.. It doesn't really matter anymore.... if I am to wait, I would just wait.. and God never ever fail..... I shall just hold onto that promise and live!.. whether I get a job or not, He knows I need money to sustain and keep me going.. so, He will provide at the right time..

So, what's next? Next or rather what I would continue to do would be to just be as obedient as possible to hear His voice and follow Him.. Do what He impresses in my heart to do.. Be who He wants me to be.. Jobs are in His hands.. My life is in His hands!..

Again.. the phrase.. NO TURNING BACK... *wink*

"I know I can. I know I can... because of JESUS"

This just came so timely for me....... and I know the story of the Little Engine That Could.. I read it when I was a little girl..... awww... Anyway, just want to share the following devotion reading I received today...... It is another assurance from God to me at this juncture of my life...... Amazing God!.. :D Pray that you would be blessed as I have been blessed and even more as you read on............. *wink*

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Daily Manna
August 19, 2009

I Know I Can

By Cindy Hess Kasper

God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20

Remember the story of The Little Engine That Could? That determined little train climbed the steep hill by chanting positively, “I think I can. I think I can.” And then, as it gained more resolve, it declared, “I know I can. I know I can.”

No one would disagree that followers of Christ should think and live in a positive way. But do you ever find yourself depending too much on your own abilities rather than on the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit?

In John 15, Jesus explained our need for complete dependence on Him when He said, “He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (v.5). Paul reminded us that we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us]” (Phil. 4:13), that “the excellence of the power [is] of God and not of us” (2 Cor. 4:7), and that we are “strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man” (Eph. 3:16).

Because of God’s power, we can do whatever He asks of us—through Him. We can base our confidence not in our own abilities, but in God’s absolute promises.

So, today, with exceedingly more power than the little engine could ever muster, we can say, “I know I can. I know I can—because of Jesus.”

God gives to His servants this promise:

You’ll not have to face life alone;

And when you grow weak in your struggle,

His strength will prevail—not your own. —Hess

God’s requirements are met by God’s enabling.

Phil 4:12b-13
…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

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Missing my two little munchkins...

Out of no where, I am missing my two little munchkins... my nephew and niece (Josh and Tiff).. They must have grown more now.. since the last time I seen them..

Another step...

yes... received a call on Monday morning that I have been successful to proceed to 2nd stage interview in this company.. A step forward as I rest in the Lord and trust Him as I prepare for the interview.. It wasn't easy actually.. as waiting is tough.. sometimes, some moments, I get disillusioned.. I have to admit that.. It is the struggle of the flesh.. After I received the call, I felt happy.. till I cried!.. I guess some parts of me still couldn't believe that I would be called for 2nd interview.. I personally believe that this process of waiting and trusting God is very important.....

I am so thankful to Him who reveals step by step.. and God, in His own special ways, is touching my heart.... I remembered the prayer prayed by one of the lady prayer ministers at St John... I am really glad that I obeyed God's prompting to go in front for prayers.. It just felt so right....

I will try my very best to prepare the powerpoint for the presentation... and to practise presenting it... and trust that God will guide my every word and action during the presentation... His calmness and steadiness is with me.... His confidence, courage and creativity will be reflected in my presentation.. Pray for me ya, my dear readers.... thank you.....*wink*

God knows her heart..

Yes... Truly God knows my heart. He sent de one and only thing He knows would put a big big smile on my face and in my heart. A Tatty Teddy Bear! A big bear.. My most favourite bear.. Eventhough it is on loan for de coming two years, I just couldn't believe I have him on my bed in my comfy room.. I know I would get to own one of my very own one day.....

Even in this little matter, God took care of it..... and He gave lavishly.. I was praying for one.. but never thought that he would be such a huge one.. Somehow, this blessing confirms even more and deeper in my heart that God is taking care of other matters of my life; even more so the big matters!..... I am so comforted.. I really am..... *grin*

Inspiration.. I need some!..

Somehow today, I just longed for inspirations..... Why? Hmm.. not sure.. I guess I want to do something!.. ha.. something different... probably, I am just so poofed out after a day of looking at jobs websites..... Need inspiration to apply jobs differently!.. where do I get such inspirations from? *Ting!* *Bling* *bulb lightens!* who else but God?.... *smile*

And inspirations to scribble more here..... coz I notice that I have not been scribbling lots these days.... it is like, I have ran out of ideas to scribble... ooh... where has they gone to? under my bed? wait wait.... possibly I was too pre-occupied with the uncertainties of what is to come that I am zooked out of ideas...... Now, that is not good!.. So, time to buck up!... and be inspired!........ And it is a choice!.. constant choice.....

Anyway, looking forward to see some friends tonight..... C-group members...... and we are suppose to go for a historical walk round Harborne but then the weather doesn't seem to be too good.. will see what happens, I guess.... Oh!.. it is already wednesday now and I still haven't heard any news on the interview I went for a week ago!...... getting abit more nervy now..... Just being honest here....

oh...... how? how? *frantic anxious look* hmm...... keep cool and pray..... trust God and believe there is a reason for this wait..... But I need to get a job soooooon...... else I turn into couch potato!.. aiks... Ha!.. maybe that is why I am not scribbling that much these days...... well, I am just expressing myself in public!.. heeeee.. oops.... Just being me.... Just being real with the feelings that I have currently......

Well.. here goes......... be witty.. be brave... be real... be inspired!...... See.. I have said it!... and I feel so much better now..... I will be back! *wink*

Amazing God, He is...

Yes.. truly He is amazing!.. He never fails me.. I know He never will.... and I look forward to see what He has installed for me in the days to come. As I wait upon Him at this hour, He assured me over and over again in ways only He knows how that would touch my heart.... Just as the saying goes, "God is good, All the time"... and it is really true!.. He Is Good, All the Time.. and All the Time, God is Good!..

Have been thinking lots; reflecting lots too... I have all the time to do that at this juncture of my life.. Seeking the Lord's face.. Waiting on Him, trying my best to hear His voice and follow His guidance..

Even on the past Sunday, God has been speaking and assuring me through the two church services I went for.. one in the morning and one in the evening.. Hmm.. I think it would be interesting to just scribble down the few snippets of bible verses that stood out for me from the two sermons....

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 5:6

..... at just the right time........

Hosea 12:6

But you must return to your God;

maintain love and justice,

and wait for your God always.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will restore your fortunes. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

May His Word speak to us all even as we read and reflect on them...... and there was this one phrase that remains in my mind saying; "Lets not be satisfied with less than what He has for us". How profound that was!.. Well, I find it profound!.. coz many times, I always got myself stuck, thinking that I only deserve just a little without realising that God has more for me.. Not sure how the mentality of this came about but it is there.. But this time, I choose not to be stuck in such thoughts!.. Instead I am choosing to believe and trust God.. that He has the best for me.. far beyond my own imagination...... *grin*

May His Name be glorified in every way He sees fit........ in my life...... in my personal walk with Him.... in this exciting journey of life...... *wink*

A bit clearer?

Lots of things took place the past two to three weeks...... I moved!.. and am in my new place for about a week plus now... still adjusting to things.. and it is getting there....... many adjustments to be done...... hee.... different experiences ahead!..

And, I have two good news!.. I gotten back my passport on 22nd July with granted leave to remain and work in UK for the coming two years..... This happened just two days before I moved out from my old place.... Isn't God amazing? On top of that, just few hours later of the same day, I received a call to go for interview..... Everything on the same day... I don't think it is coincident but His divine provision and plan........ :) double yippee!..

Ya.... the interview is tomorrow on 5th August 2009 at 12 noon........ I am preparing as much as I could but then again, how much could I prepare? Hmm...... I will do my best and leave the rest to God... if this company is where I am suppose to be in the days to come, the door will remain open and I will go in..... I am praying..... I am resting in Him...... eventhough it could be quite a challenge sometimes because I am a natural worrier.. But you know what? God's assurance is always there..... and as always, He sent people to encourage me, to speak timely words into me..... I am so touched and blessed by His everlasting love.... Just awed by Him...

Funny enough or rather strange enough, I haven't applied any other jobs..... hmmmm... risky matter huh? really.. not sure why I didn't...... oh well, will take one step at a time... and keep looking to Him...... Humanly speaking, I think I am taking such a big risk..... and yet, I felt right..... hmm....... time will tell!.. :)

well..... here goes.. interview tomorrow........ *wink*...... Thank God for such opportunity!..... :D

What is next?

This question has been in my mind all the time.. and I wonder.. I think I could even have scribbled about this too.. Can't remember and I didn't check.. hehe.. Anyway, day passes by real fast and just boggles my mind how fast it is..... So, what have I been doing?

Still waiting.. for my visa.. and waiting for news of the job I applied to.. Wonder where will I be working? Would I be working permanently? or signing contracts? Hmm.. Really do not know what God has installed for me.. I think reality will set in even more once I get my two years visa.. For now, the feeling is like.. "hmm.. floating".. uncertainty.. sense of "not sure"..

It just confirms even more that waiting period is tough.. the sense of not working at the moment just doesn't seem to be acceptable.. and yet, rushing into doing something doesn't seem to be right too.. So, kinda irony feeling.. kinda strange.. what is God saying in all these? what important lessons I am to learn from all these? How should I response?

I have been thinking.. I have been asking.. and I remembered the story of Joseph.. I remembered the story of Esther.. I was reminded of the story of Daniel.... How would I go beyond my current state and push forward to the next level? What are the things that I am to do? and even today as I was travelling in the bus, I was in deep thoughts... about many things.. and I was observing people too.. People on the bus.. the way how they carry themselves.. I am experimenting too.. what are the things that create grounds for people to talk, to smile.. Just amazed to see things.. things that I would probably not able to see if I am not on the bus.. On the bus, we can see many different type of people from all sides.. all levels of society..

Would I dare? I desire much to do many things.. and yet sometimes, it takes courage to do them.. and yet it feels right.. Should I? Would I? I guess that is how God wires me to be.. to be creative in different aspects of life.. to be curious.. to be willing to try..

Oh.. the best part is God is with me all the time...... and I could just do anything.. or don't do anything..... :D of course, within His boundary...... heee........ loving life.. loving people....... aww..... just brilliant!.. *wink*

Nerve wrecking?

This feeling does come at times.. the nerve wrecking feeling.. it can be pretty annoying when it comes.. ooh.. How to deal with it? Hmm.. from my own experience, I would go to Abba Father and surrender them to Him.. but of course, there are times that I didn't do that allow it to "conquer" for many moments and I was shattered after that!.. sigh.. But I am learning from experiences not to allow it to bother me.. not allow myself to wallow in it and be shattered!.. Sometimes, I succeed.. Sometimes, I didn't.. but guess that is pretty normal because, after all, I am still human!.. and not perfect..

But basically.. it is alot to do with choices.. my choices.. coz as the feelings come which they will come, it is actually my choice how it is going to affect me.. Sound easy? Hmm.. it can be if only we don't complicate it!.. hehe.. I try looking at it as simple as I could.. and to make deliberate choices.. and trusting that God is always there to prompt me.. to remind me.. Being me, there are times, I didn't hear it.. didn't catch it.. and then I fell.. a little.. and.. oops.. well, nevermind, I could get up again!.. That is the beauty of God's grace and mercy.. *grin*

Guess.. that's life.. hor? with its ups and downs.... with its excitements and pitfall experiences... but the most important key is to stay close with God.. walk close with God.. others may fall and tumble, others may fail and disappoint.. all else may fail but God will never!.. and I am holding this KEY super closely to my heart.... and I pray that all my family, friends and loved ones would do so as well...... what treasure it is.... *wink*

Where to go? What to do?...

I have so many questions in my little brain... and I always seem to be having lots of questions!.. That is normal.. Haha.. ya, it is so true.. I am always asking questions.... It is just so ME!..

and the past couple of weeks, I am just being so.. unsure of stuff and yet at the back of my mind, I know God is with me and He is always with me at all times.. no matter what.. That is the assurance that He has given me in my little heart.. *grin*..

I guess because of that, I am just not motivated to scribble.. sorry guys.. just too many things on my plate currently.. actually, not really many things.. but rather, a few BIG things.. it is just so terrifying sometimes if I were to decide on the spot for all of them.. well, it can be rather overwhelming.. The feeling is super real.. and I believe it is good to acknowledge it and face it on the front instead of sweeping it under the carpet and let it rot.. Things that go rotting overtime would not be good at all..

Well...... I really thank God that for accommodation wise, it has been decided and I have a peace of mind.. Now, the tougher part of the hunt is here.. JOB HUNT.. perhaps, it may not be that tough and yet, why am I having thoughts that it is tougher.. hmm.. what are the fears looming around in this particular hunt that are haunting me, crippling me? I know there are a few... and I just need to take deep breaths, pray, trust God and take one step at a time..... and be overcomer!.. Phew.. where to begin?

Here goes nothing.. and here I am..... as Zechariah 4:6 says.. "not by might nor by power, but by God's Spirit.".. To walk the path set by God.. I am praying that I am walking in His path, to turn if I need to turn.. to walk in His pace.. to be faithful in the little things.. to love people because God loves us so much.. ya.. that is what I have been doing and continue to do.. that is where I have been heading and continue on..... *wink*

where to draw the line or boundary?

as I woke up this morning, just feeling kinda bluish.. having mix feelings about many things.. perhaps, being swamped by too much things, the overloading of big decisions to make in the days to come.. hmm.. an indication that I have been on the "thinking" mode too much.. "red alert!".. if not careful, I would be wallowing in things that would not be helpful..

I just wonder.. who would ever able to understand me? I know God does.. but who else? Am I expecting too much from comrades of the same kind? Hmm.. this question pops into my mind this morning..... if only..... I have too many "if onlys".. Well, even as I think about it, praying and asking God, the words that came was to do things one at a time.. decide things one at a time... Is there need for a rush?

I am praying for the right people to meet up with and chat.. if I could spend that few hours with any one that God has brought to my path, that few hours are well spent.. and I pray that beautiful things would come out of them.. God is the grower of many beautiful things in lives of many.. So exciting..... Hee.. Now, I am excited!.. Hmmm...... again.... it is one step at a time.. *wink*..

Potentials...

Having to be in Brum on the 3rd day after arriving and entering the UK smoothly, this morning, I read this new book that I have bought on the Logos Hope ship yesterday and it writes about "potentials".. Hmm.. I shall be dwelling my thoughts on this for today.. and asking the Lord to make it clearer for me to understand and to grasp His definition for me.

There are so much He has installed for every single one of us but yet, why alot of us do not live out to the best? What stops us from being where He wants us to be? I am searching and asking the good Lord these questions, over and over again...... and I just desire to be rested in Him and to hear Him.. I begin to realise that I am willing to try.. and not be so afraid that I didn't try.. I think that was my struggle in the past.. afraid of failures and mistakes that I didn't try.. I am glad that God has opened my eyes to see my personal struggles.. and to learn to trust Him and to try.. to take up things I never dreamt of taking and yet I would be doing them because I have His peace to do them. By His Grace and Mercy, I am able to..

So, what is the new thing that I am to try this time? Hmm.. In His time, it will be revealed... as I journey on.....

Transition after transition..

times are going rather crazy for me at this juncture of my life.. no sense of stability and yet there is this sense of excitement of what is to come... Choosing to walk closely with our Heavenly Father is so vital and of upmost importance... also, I am beginning to catch glimpses of people's feeling about deciding between countries.. tough decisions to make in life in a sense and the need to exercise FAITH is so crucial, I find.. to have the courage to step out and trust God that the decision made is one that is of God.. How do we really know? This question has always been swimming in my mind.. Do we ever know? I guess we would only know after we have decided, taken the steps needed and then looked back with hindsight..

well.. here I am today.. in the early June of 2009, sitting on my bed, in my new room in Kota Kemuning.. scribbling away, reflecting away and yet, there is no certainty of where I would be.. what I would be doing in the days to come.. Would be heading for UK this coming Thursday night though.. and praying that I would see what I am to do next.. Trusting God that He would guide me.. provide.. open the right door for me to go in and explore... *grin*.. do remember me in prayers if you read my blog... lots of excitements which are coupled with lots of uncertainties as well.. yet, the excitements in seeing God at work in my life overrule the uncertainties and fears.. as God fills me with much hope and joy of life.. and He is training me in areas of my life which needs to be trained and sharpened for the coming days.. for the vision He has planted in my heaart... *wink*...

Thankfulness..

Somehow, has this sense of thankfulness at this moment.. why so? hmm.. not sure, just being thankful to be surrounded with loved ones, family, friends and more friends.. Being thankful to be blessed with so many encouragements, love and support.. Being thankful that God has me exactly where He wants me to be.. and that He is guiding me each step by each step, in the ways that He knows best for me.

Do I know what I am going to do next? No, I don't.. but then, I trust that as I take baby step, each day at a time, He would open doors of opportunity to path the way for me as I walk closely with Him.. I pray that I would have His strength to walk.. and when I am weak, He will carry me through.. How comforting that is.. :)

And today, it just lingers in my head that.. when I really am stuck and not know what to do next, I should continue to pray even more and to pray in the spirit.. the comfort of being able to pray in the spirit, and the burdens being lifted up to the heavens.. and God hears my prayers.. He knows.. He cares.. He loves.. and I know I am in good hands...... *wink*

Time will tell...

Tell many things, I suppose.. Looking back with hindsights.. This is one phrase I remembered from a recent conversation. How true that is.. and it was a phrase shared many months back.. To know whether the decision we made is of God, we would know after looking back with hindsights.. In the sense, it is similar to the phrase of time will tell...

So, what about now? how do we decide things that is of God? or whether is this God's will for me? How do we truly know? by walking closely with Him and reading His Word.. Am I doing that? sometimes, I wonder, am I doing that enough? What is enough? Does it matter? Shouldn't I walk closely with God out of love for Him and not out of other ulterior motives? why so many questions? fear of missing God's will in life? Fear of making mistakes in life? It does cripple me sometimes.. and I just have to shout out Jesus' Name and to overcome it with His Word.. with His Courage.. It is by His Grace that I am where I am this day.. I am who I am this day.. Mistakes will happen.. but I have God by my side. That is the difference. Because He is by my side, I am able to start anew again. I am able to stand tall.. with His Glow and His Joy.. with His Strength.. with His Peace.. yeahhh.. yippee...

well... here I go again....... trying something new... with His Peace.. and in His time, I will know.. truly know.. and again be awed by He who says "I am"... *wink*

who would have thought?

I wouldn't have thought of it as well but here I am, back in Malaysia at this hour, at this season.. where even myself couldn't believe that I decided to come back in the midst of things.. Yet, it seems to be really right to come back home at this time. Why so? Hmm.. Not sure as yet. Just know that it is right and that I am to obey the voice I heard few weeks ago. Go by faith? And it is not easy to go by faith, I have to admit.. It can be rather challenging and yet at the same time, it is fulfilling to be able to step out in faith and trust that the Lord God is guiding me, showing me stuff which I never see before in the past.

I know many are praying for me.. many are encouraging me.. many that are sent by God to be by my side.. to support and encourage.. God knows exactly what I need. He knows the very core of my heart.. He knows the very fears that I have even as I take that step of faith.. even as I choose to obey Him. What would the outcome be? I just know that it would be the best that He has for me and nothing less and highly even more that what I would expected. I have to stay focus and remain focus on the 'now'.. the 'present' and make the best out of it.. To love like I never love before.. to be real with my loved ones and friends.. to be who my dear Lord wants me to be.. *grin*

Adventure has begun years back.. and it has become more and more interesting and exciting these days.. so much uncertainties.. and it requires so much trust in Him.. sole Trust in Him and no one else! Admittedly, fears do loom over me sometimes but He is teaching me to know how to look at the fears and to deal with them.. to overcome them.. it takes time.. it takes practice.. it takes building of courage.. and that courage comes from Him, the Almighty God. *wink*

Making choices..

which is right? which is wrong? which is good? which is bad? How do we really know? hmm.. is this a trick question now? hmm.. I don't think it is.. but I think it would be something that will constantly pop up here and there.. even more so when it is to do with life changing choices..... challenging, isn't it? I think it is.. and sometimes, it can be pretty scary.. the "what if" comes into play.. hmm.. I wonder, .. I really do wonder.. do people think about these things as I do? or is it just me? a girl with many questions..

Yet, somehow, today.. I know something deep was happening.. something.. what was it? I couldn't get around it as yet.. still not able to have the word for it, to describe it.. but just know in the spirit.. able to discern and yet don't understand.. strange but it is true..

God in His own timing and providence would make it clear.. or the other way is that as I choose to walk closer to Him, I would hear clearer.. and would see what He wants me to see.. and do what He wants me to do.. Well, I made a choice today, one that I would never think I would have made and yet I did.. Recently, I have been surprising myself alot, actually.. with the choices I made.. Interesting, I would say.. *wink*

Accomplishment?

Yesterday marked the day I submitted my masters dissertation piece... so proud of it that I took some photos.. and put them on facebook!.. Never thought I would do a Masters, and yet here I am.. It actually does feel good when I went to collect it yesterday and carried it around in the university before submitting it... And now, at this wee hour (I went to bed like.. 930pm.. hehe..), as I scribble along and away.. a thought that comes to my mind is.. "so, what's next?" A question which family and friends have been asking me alot the past weeks and I think even more for the coming weeks.. A question which I am asking myself too... hmm..

I suppose the next sensible and logical thing to do would be to update my CV and start applying for jobs.. just start somewhere, I guess.. and then the path would become clearer.. Read a recent devotion from Nehemiah Notes that wrote about being in the motion.. meaning, to be active in doing something... and the writer wrote that "sometimes any action is better than none".. I really thought that this devotion reading came very timely for me at this juncture of my life.. God always has His ways of communicating.. *grin*

At the same time.. looking at the possibilities of getting my work published in a journal.. as suggested by my lecturer.. I do wonder.. would it be good enough to be published? This is a classic example where others have more confidence in my work than me.. oops.. Maybe God is teaching me something here, even as I reflect and look at my line of thoughts.. hmm.. well... still reflecting.... hehe..

You know what.. I think I will just do the obvious bits to my best and leave the rest to God because He is my provider.. and He knows what is best for me.. and where I am to go and what I am to do in the days to come.. *wink*..

Photos from Mid march to Mid April 2009..

yup..... here comes all the photos...... :D.. from the latest to the earliest... click on the blue phrases to go to the various albums.... :D

The House!..

Easter Day 13.04.09

First Easter Card and Gift :)
Easter Sunrise Service 12.04.09

SEEDs football-freebie dayout n dinner 21.03.09

Just couldn't believe it.... BUT..

I am done!.. I handed in my dissertation for binding yesterday.....

which means, no turning back..

and once I submit it next Monday, I am officially done with Uni work!..

wow!..... Praise God for it.. and so..

what is NEXT??

mmmm........ travel? work?....

appreciate your prayers as I figure it out.. *wink*

Apple of God's eyes...

who? it is me..... hehehe......

aim to be, hope to be, pray to be, thrill to be.......

with His help and guidance, His grace and mercy...

His touch and assurance.... *wink*

just a little more...

ever feel that? just a little more and it would be done... well, that's where I am at today.. and sometimes, it could be tiring and just feel like wanting a rest and not push too hard.. why so? why not just press on a bit more and hang on there a bit more and it will be over.. ??

yup!... now, I am motivating myself!.. via this scribbling..... and I need it.... everyone needs motivation and encouragement... if only we could be that one to encourage and to motivate the people around us.. Just to encourage one person a day.. and I believe it will have a tremendous domino effect in lives.. especially when situations out there aren't so rosy and bed of roses as it would seem to be....

ya... here I start again, today, to do the little bit more and finish up what I came to UK to do.. May the Good Lord always grant me wisdom, creativity to think, to analyse and to write..... *wink*

Do you have unhealed wounds?

I couldn't resist but to scribble a little today in midst of busyness and work.. coz just know deep in my heart that this is of the Lord....... and that the Good Lord is always doing great work.. and this is one of the many moments that I am able to catch it and scribble it down......

God in His wonderful way has confirmed in my heart today that I had done the right thing..... with the following devotion I just read from the Vine... to take time to deal with the wounds and get healed... to spend more deliberate time in Him, and having Him walking side by side as I was dealing with the wounds..... Which is what I did.. and I am so ever glad and thankful to Him.. *grin*..

*****

Deal With Your Unhealed Wounds!

Physician, heal yourself!

Luke 4:23 NKJV

Did you know that in the Old Testament a priest could not serve in God's house if he had a scab, which is an unhealed wound or a bleeding sore? (See Lev 21:20.) Why? Because when you have a scab you're not up to par. You can't get close to others in case they bump into you and knock the protective cover off it. You're not at your best because the pain-drain is sapping your strength. You're afraid to talk about your scab in case people reject you, so you wear a mask, live on two levels and become insecure and controlling. Worst of all, you're so busy working for God and taking care of others that you don't think you have time to stop and take care of yourself. The Bible says: "Physician, heal yourself!" (Luke 4:23 NKJV).

Does this mean people with 'issues' can't work for God? No, quite the opposite. It's the broken who become masters at mending. But first you must take time to be healed. Jesus said that when the blind lead the blind they both fall into a ditch (Matthew 15:14). It's hard to talk about victory to others when you yourself are living in defeat. It's hard to bring emotional healing to others when you're still battling the unresolved issues of your past. When you are still bleeding, you can't treat people's problems with the same kind of aggressive faith you'd have if you'd already worked through the problem.

Is it wrong to have a wounded heart? No, but it's wrong not to deal with it. So, spend time with God and let Him make you whole so that He can use you to minister more effectively to others.

*****

This devotion just spoke so clearly of what needs to take place if anyone has unhealed wounds...... and it just amazing to see how it spoke of what needs to take place.... My favorite phrases are the ones highlighted in purple...... When I have worked through the problem, then I'd have the aggressive faith to help others....... and God has make me WHOLE so that He can use me to minister more effectively to others..... WOW!.. I love that.. I am smiling when I am scribbling this.... hehe..

and also, deep down, I could sense that God is telling me something else and one of them is that time has come for Him to use me in a higher capacity to minister to others...... well, I have been ministering the past one year plus, the past months but not in the capacity that I was used to.. I am grateful for His gentleness and His Love...... for His touch..

I am waiting on the Lord and waiting to see what He would want me to do.. I know in His time, I would know exactly what to do and where to go...... in the meantime, I just be faithful in what I can do, no matter how small or big it is...... pleasing Him is about putting down my own desires and just be free to please Him.. and God being who He is, He has taken into His interest to look into those personal desires of mine without me realising them........ *wink*

a dash.......

why a dash? hehe..... just trying to get my dissertation done up to the best I could a week before the dateline and therefore, this scribbling is a dash!.. hehehe....... I do kind like the adrenaline rush though..... so odd.... yohoo...... it gives that kind of kick!..

well... I am currently in the university on a sunday...... but kinda like it here on a sunday where there is peace and quiet.... and I am beginning to be much more aware of the things that makes me tick, so to speak..... it may well be God's gifts for me... the stuff I enjoy doing.. the stuff that comes so natural for me...... it is exciting!.. and I do look forward to see where all these would bring me as I seek His face....... as I sit at His feet.... as I wait upon Him......

well..... this is a short break and it is time for me to continue on with my work and get all the analysis of data done before 4pm today!..... and then off to the next final bit....... to write them down......... pray pray for me, ya........ muach! *wink*

a "privilege instrument" of God...

This phrase stayed in my head since I wrote that email recently, requesting for prayers from friends... and I thought I just want to scribble here about it..... In my recent email, I wrote to request for a prayer from friends whom I know are remembering me in prayers.. and I just felt right to cut and paste the bits that I have written in the email here...

"I believe in working in team and that every preparation when seasoned in prayers unto the Lord is powerful because God is at work.. It is His ministry and it is He who does the touching and impacting.. I am just a "privilege instrument" that He chooses to use.. *wink*.... thanks guys for the partnership in prayers.. :D Frankly, I am excited to see what God is doing and will do!... "

It is such a blessing to be able to be used by God in whatever and every capacity.. I recognise it so much at this hour.. and I just want to fully receive this truth in my heart.. coz I also recognise that I am a forgetful person.. believe it or not, but humans tend to be very forgetful and tend to get carried away with own things and forgotten about God.. What a danger, isn't it? I think it is.....

I am praying.... about many things...... about many people.... for many people..... O Lord.. only He knows the deepest needs of people.. the deepest core and desires.. and every prayer that goes out, they are important.. it could just be "it" that turns someone's life towards God in a wonderful close way.. We never know how God works in lives.. yet, we have the choice to be intentional... and this day, I pray that all my friends, my loved ones would be intentional in their lives.. intentional to speak encouragement, to show love and everything that is needful for someone as the Lord leads... *wink*

Final Lap.......

so.. got to work much harder....... that is my aim for the coming weeks till 20 April 2009...... the day when the dissertation work is submitted and mark the closing of Uni work..... and mark the journey of "what next?".......

Do remember me in prayers when you read this scribbling... I would try to scribble during time out, getting a breather...... and scribbling here is my way of taking a breather...... *wink*.........

First morning in new place..

yup.. my first morning in my new room.. new view... Loving it.... and sunshine with cool air...... what more could I ask for? heheheh..

I have also taken some photos of the move too....... So exciting.. and a wonderful meal I had last night.. a birthday-do for one of my housemates... I have three housemates (Betty & Alex and Mark)..... wonderful people.... :D

• Moving to Harborne.. yippee.. 14.03.09
• Bday do for Alex 14.03.09
• My 1st morning in Harborne.. 15.03.09

Enjoy as I enjoy my new place... new environment.. *wink*......

Me! Me!....

a portrait of me.. *wink*.......

Not that I have lots of time and yet I just need an avenue to go "crazy"..

and bloggie is my form of release...... woo-hoo....

the move.....

yup.. tomorrow, it is another move for me.. moving from uni accommodation to a house in Harborne.. Couldn't believe my eyes that it is here and I am moving.. Didn't feel that I am ready to move yet, actually.. hmm.. yet, it is time.. and the timeliness of things just amazes me.. well, that's for me to understand deep down.. the timeliness of God... *wink*..

How do I share these thoughts here? thoughts that are deep inter-twined in my little brain... thoughts that have long links, all connected.. think my story would be a long one.. one with many faces.. one with many insights.. How? How to share about these? How would I express these to encourage others.. to leave a marker for others to learn.. Only the Good Lord is able to give me such wisdom and insights to know how in the days to come.. I know He would guide me.. and in His timing, I would know exactly what to do..

Sometimes or rather lots of times, I would wonder why people do what they do.. I still have that question.. and in the past, I thought I was too afraid to try new things but yet, actually I did try new things.. I did do stuff that others would not do.. Somehow it is just so in-built in me that I didn't recognise it.. maybe it is too natural that I didn't realise it? or maybe I was looking at others too much for comparison that I forgot to appreciate the very things God has blessed me with? Ya.. I think that would be it.. and I am glad, real glad that I discover that truth the past one year.. So glad that God has revealed that to me.. so thankful..

well, coming back to the move.. all my belongings.. and I still haven't finished writing for my dissertation.. hmm.. oh dear.. nevertheless, I try my very best.. and trust that it would be done in God's timing as I learn different lessons while trying to write this dissertation.. Do remember me in prayer.. Need that lots.. :D

Looking forward to the move.. looking forward to have new housemates.. to learn from one another.. and to have a different angle of life in UK.. yup.. it would be different.. I could feel it.. or is it just plain simple to catch it?

I am excited and yet wonder... looking forward and yet curious... thankful for the timeliness and yet ask the question "why so soon?"... Am I contradicting myself? Am I making myself more confused? Well.. I am just plainly pouring out my feelings.. coz these are my feelings.. these are thoughts and questions that run through my mind.. welll......... this is Vivien Keu for you..... *wink*

Thank You O Lord...

Just want to scribble this......

Thank You... O LORD........... for the Cross and the Resurrection..

Thank You O Lord for Your LOVE..

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,...." Ephesians 3:20

I know You will, O Lord... *smile*

Thank You...

Worth waiting for...

What is? What am I trying to scribble here? well.. that is the title of the recent conference that I attended.. and it was a really interesting conference (photos here) and great time to be able to hear many testimonies of God's goodness and God at work in different parts of the world.. so encouraging and so uplifting.. I was truly blessed! :)

And one of the main speakers spoke on the whole of Habakkuk.. He expounded it with such great insights that truly spoke a great deal to me... How could I scribble it here? How could I share what spoke to me? hmm.. perhaps the summary... as to how Habakkuk turned from being a complainer to a joy expressor regardless of the change of circumstances.. by recalling what God has done... and knowing that He would do them again!.. and for us, by recalling what was done at the cross and know that we could trust Him.. Because of the cross and the resurrection, we could be going through tough stuff in life and yet be joyful in Him.. sorrowful yet rejoicing simultaneously.. amazing isn't it? It is possible because of the cross and resurrection!.. Victory is real and it is done. :)

And one important lesson to learn from Habakkuk is that he was being very honest and truthful with God about the current situation and his own feelings. He didn't hide them from God.. He didn't pretend that all is well... He was just being real with God.. and this is how we should response too.. to be with real with God about our situations.. and trust God.. let God takes us on the journey from "fear" to "faith".......

Amazing truth, isn't it? Well.. to me, it is..... hehe.. and because of this truth deeply planted in my heart as I reflected upon it, God has moved in my heart to do something brave.. something which I know I would not do on my own accord.. unless it is inspired by God.. As I truly start to look beyond my own experiences with God (the small piece of the canvas) and towards the Cross and Resurrection (the big canvas), something stirred deep in my heart... that is the crucial point.. I personally believed .. and know what is the key? it is about living by Faith in God all the way......... and able to withstand whatever that is ahead of us..... *wink*

Free-will?

This word came up last night at a bible study... and it stayed with me.. and the questions that I have are these.. "Do we really want free-will?"; "Do we know how to handle it?"... ; "Do we truly know what are good for us and what are not?"..

I guess, as human beings, we longed to be free.. longed to do many things.... longed and longed.. desires after desires... that is how God wires us to be.. We are created in His own Image.. (Gen 1:27) Hmm.. I am not sure where this scribbling would lead me but somehow.. in my own tiny experiences of life, I have sort of concluded that it is best to be in the will of God than to handle life on my own.. I would rather have God handling my life than I.. because I do not know what the future holds for me.. God knows.. and He would be the best person to know what is best for me.. I have tried numerous times to handle life on my own, relying on my own strength and it ended up in a mess.. a mess that only God could clean up and restore.. and exactly that was what He did.

Frankly, my opinion is that a lot of times, we do not know what we are asking.. and what we really want in life.. or what is good for us.. that is how crazy it can be.. as the cliche goes, "Been there, done all those tryings and gotten bruises and cuts all over"..... and conclusion is still, to trust God and stay real close to Him.. Well, that is for me.. not speaking for others.. that is my choice of life; to try my very best to trust God and to look at areas of distrust and know that God is teaching me how to unravel them and turn them to trust... deeper trust in Him.. I still can be free and being free in God is such a sweet sweet freedom... knowing that He is watching over me..

God in His gentle ways would never shovel down our throats the things we are uncomfortable with.. He has His ways of bringing us to that point where we would be comfortable about them and being more assured in Him.. At the end of it all, the final destination is not the crucial crunch.. but the journey towards it, is... the process we go through to arrive to a point of life..

And I just want to end by sharing Psalm 119:105 that says..

"The Lord's Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.." Going back to His Word.. going back to spending time with the Lord.. that is the key to freedom.... *wink*

Sweetly Loved!..

Ya.. was immensely loved yesterday evening..... to hear others are sharing the pain I am going through.. that makes the pain light.. :) and the sweet card with the messages and chocolates they gave me.... it just added the warmth to my heart...... God is amazing, to shower His Love through people.. and even as I ponder about it, I remembered clearly there was a time where people were sharing my tough pain in prayers, in tears and in persons.... This is the body of Christ where we are there for one another, loving and encouraging one another, to press on.. to journey together on this path of life...... sharing the joy and the pain.. It comes in the package.... *wink*

I was blessedly and sweetly surprised......

1st fall in UK... oops..

Clumsy me, I fell flat last night literally on the street... sigh.. bruises and swelling on both knee caps.. and a little on the palm of hands.. and aching all over today.. with my little brain shaken due to the fall... still feeling a little wobbly...... limping a little due to the pain on the knees... but thank God no open wounds or twisted knee or whatever.. so don't worry when you read this...

My little fall could lead to so many things as mentioned above.. what happen if a person who fell from high places.. ? that stirs up a thought within me.. wow.. with this little fall, I am already feeling wobbly... just imagine those with head concussion? hmm.. interesting to reflect on this..

When I fell last night, I was like.. "oopss.... oh no..." I realized that my physical body suffering from the shock of the fall and yet I was still on my way to my destinations, doing the stuff I needed to do.. After completing all of them and as I was on the bus home, only then I could feel the shock.. it was like both of my legs were wobbly.. brain floaty.. and of course, my normal self would be to yearn for attention... hehehe..... tat's just me.. a pampered girl especially when I am sick or unwell.... or after incidents like this....

Well.. hope the swelling and pain would go away quickly.. That's my prayer..... :)

Again, how?

This question has been looming in my mind.. There are much that I want to act or say especially when I see something in people's lives and yet, I do not know "how".. What is God's way in this? Why the knowledge when I could not do anything about? Hmm.. The only thing I could do is to pray.. Is that all that I am to do? I wonder? Maybe.. and if God wants me to do more than that, He would provide the way.. He would provide the opportunity..

*lightbulb on!*.. Yup.. that is it!.. So delightful to be able to draw to this conclusion.. and scribbling helps me.. because, I believe that as people read my scribblings, they are remembering me in prayers too.. Prayer is a powerful tool that God has given us.. And I really have nothing to hide and aiming to lead a transparent life.. one that is pleasing to Him..

Of course, there are comments of privacy and people may misuse the information.. Hmm.. this blog is birthed from pain that turned to joy... And, I know God has an eye on me and as Psalm 17: 8 -9 say.. "God is keeping me as apple of His eye, He is hiding me under the shadow of His wings, from the wicked who oppressed me, from my deadly enemies who surround me." When God is with and for me, who can be against me? Whoever is against me, they have to answer to God... *scribbler rests assured in her Almighty God who loves her so much*

Secrets...

The intricacy of human hearts and minds just amazed me. Have been observing my own self as well as the people around me.. I am just mystified by the observations and asking the Lord what does all these mean? Of course, it is no secret to say that everyone has secrets.. whether big or small; important or non-important, it is of different issue.

However, I believe that God in His special ways reveal some of them when it is needed to be known.. I find that true as I have experienced them before. Just that sometimes, I am not that discernful enough to catch them sometimes due to own pre-occupation, unfortunately. Yet, I am learning and I could only say that it is by the Grace of God. Thank God that He is not one who punishes for mistakes but He is one who still loves me and encourages me to try again. These mistakes are within His calculations, so to speak. He knows that I would make them again and again until one day it is settled.

I thought I caught something last night at this party.. I am still bewildered by it.. and still not able to put a finger on the actual point.. it is somewhere around that part.. Hmm.. The Lord in His time will make it clear, I truly believe.. *grin*.. and whatever it may be, I desire thoughts that God is Love and because of His Love, He is keeping close eye on me.. and I have nothing to fear and be intimidated of.. *wink*

My name..

hehehe........ thought this is a nice shot.. with nice handwriting..

My name called in short and by friends.... *grin*

You guys are the Best!..

SEEDlings!... *wink*

Night Vision........

Three days in a row, I received the devotion from the Vine about night vision and they spoke to me deep within me.. something real strong and in depth.. and I am thankful to receive them.. thankful to Almighty God for these revelations and confirmations.. I have cut and paste all the three devotions in the following.. the sentences that I have highlighted in REd and BoLd would be the very ones that spoke to me so strongly and deeply.. the ones that I identify with it so dearly.. and I know it is because of God.. *wink*..

****

Who is among you who... hears the Lord... yet... walks in darkness? Isaiah 50:10 AMP

God promises us peace, but not smooth sailing or immunity from life's problems. The Bible says you can "fear the Lord… yet… walk in darkness and… trouble" (Isaiah 50:10 AMP).

Check your Bible:

(a) Job lived an exemplary life yet he lost everything. Troubled and perplexed, he cried, "God has blocked my way [and]… plunged my path into darkness" (Job 19:8 NLT).

(b) Jeremiah, after preaching to a rebellious people who beat and imprisoned him, said, "Oh, that… my eyes [were] a fountain… I would weep day and night for… my people" (Jeremiah 9:1 NIV).

(c) John the Baptist was puzzled about why his cousin Jesus, who could raise the dead, had left him to languish in prison. So he sent him a message asking, "Are You the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" (Luke 7:19 NIV).

(d) Paul suffered so much he "despaired even of life" (2 Corinthians 1:8 NKJV).

Faith is like film; it's developed in the dark. Dark days make us lean on God in ways we normally wouldn't. The truth is, if our faith was never tested we wouldn't be motivated to pursue God and draw closer to Him. The hymn writer wrote: "When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." It's easy to praise God when your health is good and your bills are paid. It's when light suddenly turns to darkness that we discover what our faith is made of and where our trust truly lies. It's in those seasons that we develop night vision!

****

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness. Isaiah 45:3 NLT

Sometimes God doesn't tell us why because He wants us to know Who. In Psalm 23, David goes from talking about God, "The Lord is my Shepherd," to talking with Him, "Thou art with me." What happened in between? David learned that no matter how dark the way is, the Lord is there to guide us. He discovered that it's better to walk through the valley with God than stand on the mountaintop alone. God doesn't always light the path in advance, but He promises, "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown" (Isaiah 43:2 NLT).

When you feel like you're out of your depth or in over your head, claim the promise! Job had many unanswered questions, but when he began to understand the difference between reason and relationship, he told God, "I… heard about You before, but now I have seen You" (Job 42:5 TLB). When you can't find the reason, trust the relationship. God won't fail you.

Contrary to what you may think, darkness isn't always the work of the enemy. Sometimes it's one of God's best teaching tools. " About the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea… And when they saw Him… they were greatly amazed… beyond measure, and marvelled" (Mark 6:48-51 NKJV). You get to know the Lord by going through storms with Him. The Psalmist said, "To You the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to You" (Psalm 139:12 NLT). So instead of running from your problems, ask God to develop your night vision, to show you "the treasures of darkness… hidden in secret places" (Isaiah 45:3 NRS).

****

You who live in your own light... will soon fall down in great torment. Isaiah 50:11 NLT

When the darkness you're experiencing is God-ordained, don't try to create your own light: "You who live in your own light… will soon fall down in great torment" (Isaiah 50:11 NLT). Abraham decided to kindle his own fire when God's promise of an heir didn't materialise quickly enough. Tired of waiting, he decided to go it alone by fathering Ishmael, and ended up creating problems that would last for generations. God had already promised to liberate Israel, but Moses took it upon himself to do things his way. As a result he killed an Egyptian slave master and spent the next 40 years in the wilderness (Exodus 2:11-15). Peter promised to follow Jesus to prison and to death (Luke 22:33), but because he didn't wait for instructions he ended up lopping off an innocent man's ear.

When you're in darkness by divine design you don't have to be afraid, God will bring you through. Why are we so sure? Because the Bible gives us great promises like: "Light arises in… darkness for the upright" (Psalm 112:4 AMP), and "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5 AMP). The 40 days Moses spent alone on the mountain, Elijah's stay on Mount Horeb, and Paul's years in the Arabian Desert weren't wasted experiences; they were part of God's plan.

Jesus said, "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight" (Matthew 10:27 NIV). Notice two things in this Scripture:

(1) It's in your worst moments that God gives you some of your best insights.

(2) People will listen to you because you've 'earned the right to speak'. So sit tight and let God teach you things which can only be learned in the dark.

****

And know what? That was what I did the past one year plus... to sit tight and let God teach me things which could only be learnt in the dark..... Amazing lessons of life!.. and to develop the night vision... and truly He has showed me treasures of darkness.. hidden in the secret places... *wink*... I know all of them would be used for the extension of His Kingdom; for touching lives; for changing lives.. and that is my heart desire.. to see His Name Glorified.. It is all about Him at the end of it all......

a cup of hot Choc?

It was this weekend that marks a significant point.. I never thought of it at all until the moment God revealed to me as I was soaking in His Presence during Encounter Weekend (20-22 Feb 2009) recently.. Funny but in His quietness, God whispered to me, "Child, do you realise that it has been over a year now?" It just dawned on me that it has!.. wow..

Just amazing to see how the Lord works in this life of mine, given by Him.. and it was interesting to realise even now that the crying has stopped.. whether tears of joy or pain over the setback a year back... All of them has stopped at that point when God said it would. I am so not used to its absence but yet it is exciting to look forward to what is ahead in God.

Now, thinking back, I recognise that there were two types of tears.. tears of pain initially, where I just cried and cried out of pain that is beyond words... and then not long after that, it was turned to tears of joy which is beyond words too because of God's touch and healing... tears of joy comes frequently the past months, especially thinking of the love God, the love of my parents, my god-parents, my pastors, close friends and friends and their support during tough times..

That night when the speaker talked about surrendering and the act of surrendering at the cross, as I was kneeling and soaking in His presence, there was no tears.. as God said there won't be.. it marked the end of it. Wow.. amazing!.. and God gave me Psalm 61:1-4 as well that says..

"The Lord heard my cry. He attended to my prayer. From the end of the earth I cried to Him. When my heart is overwhelmed, He led me to the rock that is higher than I. For He has been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in His tabernacle forever, I will trust in the shelter of His Wings."

I am swept again and overwhelmed by His Awesome Love!... *grinning from the farthest end to another end*........ Amazing!.. thankfulness of His Faithfulness and Love.. He just knows the very act that would touch my heart so deeply.. *wink*

Last day of February 2009...

I always seem to be so temperamental about final day of the month and stuff.. wonder why? hmm.. not sure though.. perhaps, it helps me to get started on my scribblings... an inspiration point? maybe.. *wink*

But honestly, time just flies by ever so quickly that I just couldn't believe it!.. before long, I would be looking at job applications and stuff.. Frankly, not sure what I would be doing.. There are many aspects to consider. Uncertainties about the visa and all.. but I just received news that I am eligible to apply for the "Post-Study-Work" Visa. PSW as they called it in short. That is the first step of clearance and I am still praying and seeking the Good Lord..

Looking back from this juncture of life, I am glad that I am here.. glad that I have took on the studies.. Actually, the studies, the results is not the important thing but the lessons I am learning while doing them, they are precious and valuable.. Handling procrastination behaviour.. somehow not really there yet but the awareness of it is important to prayerfully tackle it and to overcome this weakness. It takes time.. Sometimes, I win and sometimes, I lose..

Admittedly, there are still fears popping about what to do next, where to go next.. Yet, there is this undercurrent peace of God within me, assuring me of His provision and goodness.. See the difference of train of thoughts? hehe.. I saw it after I wrote it!.. *grin*.. Anyway, I very much realised that "fear" will come some days but it is alright.. because I am assured in His peace and assurance. It is just like temptations will come but because I know who I am in God, I could face them and they would not have a hold on me.. So, as I scribble today, I could sense that fears do not have a hold on my thoughts.. Somehow, because this life was literally saved by God in 2008, it is not mine anymore and because that truth sank so deep within me, it freed me from holding life so tightly like before..... But, for me, I have to go through that process.. It would probably be different for different ones.. God has His ways... because He knows us! *wink*.. However, the alertness of the mind is important too.. What do I truly believe? Who do I truly believe? Just love it as God reveals truths like these.. He is so Awesome!..

*chuckle*.. A thought came was.. it is irony.. life is... and it can be rather crazy too!.. but you know what? I don't mind them so as long as I am walking closely with God, being loved by Him and loving Him and His people.. the undercurrent peace of God is what I enjoy, regardless of the circumstances and situations around me.. yipppee..... thank You o God.. *smile sweetly upward*......