oh yes, it is tough.. I have to be very honest about it.. What else could I scribble about it? It is really a matter of choosing how I look at it.. optimistically or pessimistically? I would love to be optimistic about it. However, I realize at this moment that I was trying very hard to be optimistic but somehow, my whole body language and behaviors do not project it..
Maybe I am trying too hard? Maybe I am relying on my own strength instead of God's? Oh bummer!.. Maybe that is why!..
How do I overcome this? It feels like time is running out.... and I am still stuck!.. bummer.. bummer... I wonder what God is saying in all this? What am I to learn from this? Why the wait? How long more to wait? What am I to do? and I could feel that things are falling apart.... or is it just my vivid imagination? is this the "evil" at work..? trying to make me think that things are falling apart? hmmmmmmmmm....
Actually, come to think of it, since my life was picked up by God from pieces and made whole two years ago; He knows what He is doing.. It doesn't really matter anymore.... if I am to wait, I would just wait.. and God never ever fail..... I shall just hold onto that promise and live!.. whether I get a job or not, He knows I need money to sustain and keep me going.. so, He will provide at the right time..
So, what's next? Next or rather what I would continue to do would be to just be as obedient as possible to hear His voice and follow Him.. Do what He impresses in my heart to do.. Be who He wants me to be.. Jobs are in His hands.. My life is in His hands!..
Again.. the phrase.. NO TURNING BACK... *wink*
