I read an article which speaks something deep in my heart.. in the whole area of compatibility and incompatibility... what is it? mm... it is simple yet profound.. hehe... Read on and please take note that I have taken the liberty to add some of my words in the following paragraphs to highlight my own thoughts and opinions.. (those in pink are my own words.. )
The writer said that there are a variety of unhealthy questions people ask as they are getting or get married, including:
- What's in it for me?
- Will I be happy?
- Is this person going to care for me?
- Is this person going to provide for me?
- Is this person going meet all of my needs?
- Is this person my soul mate?
The writer also said the following, "Some people believe their marriage is bad because they didn't marry their soul mate. That's simply not true. The concept of soul mates (sometimes referred to as twin souls) has its roots in the idea of reincarnation. The soul of the one you are looking for has lived other lives with your past selves, and your souls have connected. Plato, an ancient Greek philosopher, referred to a soul mate as the other half. The concept of a soul mate has no biblical basis and sets up an excusable escape for couples."
The writer has had married people telling him, "Well, I think he is a great guy—he's just not the guy for me," and "I think she's wonderful and she'll make somebody very happy—she's just not making me happy." He said that these are the wrong perspectives for sustaining a healthy marriage. I personally believed this is applicable for courting/ engaged couples as well. My own opinion of it.
And the great news is that the writer ended with the right questions to ask. What are the right questions? Here is the foundation for getting marriage off on the right foot and staying there:
(1) Am I demonstrating the loving image and character of Jesus Christ? If I'm not, I need to get His words into my heart so that I don't sin against God or my mate.
(2) Have I taken responsibility for my own actions and reactions? If not, I need to get off of my mate's case and get the help I need from God first and then from other wise counsel.
(3) Do I understand that within me there is a self-destructive sin nature that only God can fix?
(4) Do I understand that I make mistakes, I fail and I grieve the heart of God?
(5) Have I ever cried out to God as a beggar and admitted that I am helpless apart from Him in becoming the mate I need to be?
(6) Do I understand that because of Adam and Eve, I am now dealing with inherited sin?
(7) Do I know that sin is basically doing my own thing and ignoring God?
(8) When my spouse/mate sees my deep love and transformation, will he or she want to join me on the spiritual journey?
And also not to be missed, is to read what the bible has to say about all this.. and this is what the writer ended with.... "The Bible says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). We all deal with this issue of sin. The question is how do we respond? Romans 10:9-10 instructs us to declare Him as Lord (or as boss) of our life and believe in our heart that God has raised Jesus from the dead; then, the Bible says, we will be saved. It is a one-time decision (justification) followed by or made evident in lifestyle change (sanctification)."
The writer said that there are a variety of unhealthy questions people ask as they are getting or get married, including:
- What's in it for me?
- Will I be happy?
- Is this person going to care for me?
- Is this person going to provide for me?
- Is this person going meet all of my needs?
- Is this person my soul mate?
The writer also said the following, "Some people believe their marriage is bad because they didn't marry their soul mate. That's simply not true. The concept of soul mates (sometimes referred to as twin souls) has its roots in the idea of reincarnation. The soul of the one you are looking for has lived other lives with your past selves, and your souls have connected. Plato, an ancient Greek philosopher, referred to a soul mate as the other half. The concept of a soul mate has no biblical basis and sets up an excusable escape for couples."
The writer has had married people telling him, "Well, I think he is a great guy—he's just not the guy for me," and "I think she's wonderful and she'll make somebody very happy—she's just not making me happy." He said that these are the wrong perspectives for sustaining a healthy marriage. I personally believed this is applicable for courting/ engaged couples as well. My own opinion of it.
And the great news is that the writer ended with the right questions to ask. What are the right questions? Here is the foundation for getting marriage off on the right foot and staying there:
(1) Am I demonstrating the loving image and character of Jesus Christ? If I'm not, I need to get His words into my heart so that I don't sin against God or my mate.
(2) Have I taken responsibility for my own actions and reactions? If not, I need to get off of my mate's case and get the help I need from God first and then from other wise counsel.
(3) Do I understand that within me there is a self-destructive sin nature that only God can fix?
(4) Do I understand that I make mistakes, I fail and I grieve the heart of God?
(5) Have I ever cried out to God as a beggar and admitted that I am helpless apart from Him in becoming the mate I need to be?
(6) Do I understand that because of Adam and Eve, I am now dealing with inherited sin?
(7) Do I know that sin is basically doing my own thing and ignoring God?
(8) When my spouse/mate sees my deep love and transformation, will he or she want to join me on the spiritual journey?
And also not to be missed, is to read what the bible has to say about all this.. and this is what the writer ended with.... "The Bible says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23). We all deal with this issue of sin. The question is how do we respond? Romans 10:9-10 instructs us to declare Him as Lord (or as boss) of our life and believe in our heart that God has raised Jesus from the dead; then, the Bible says, we will be saved. It is a one-time decision (justification) followed by or made evident in lifestyle change (sanctification)."
So, actually where does the compatibility and the incompatibility come into place? I used to think it is to do with interests, family backgrounds, flexibility and so forth.. Of course these things do have their rightful role to play and they are all inter-linked to one another and even to what I am going to scribble on... But know what I discovered today? I felt that I discovered something and also, an answer to the question that I was asking... I think the core of it (compatibility in the sense) actually lies in the manner and "thought life" of type of questions we are asking ourselves when we are in a relationship. It is like saying, "Are these two persons having/asking the same type of questions when they are in the relationship?"
Whether what I have scribbled make any sense to anyone or not.. mm... well, to me, it makes lots of sense... and I just have this tugging in my heart that God is teaching me things from different perspectives and angles.. of even looking at just one word.. the word today is "Compatibility"... I am reflecting further in the Lord...... *smile*...
Whether what I have scribbled make any sense to anyone or not.. mm... well, to me, it makes lots of sense... and I just have this tugging in my heart that God is teaching me things from different perspectives and angles.. of even looking at just one word.. the word today is "Compatibility"... I am reflecting further in the Lord...... *smile*...
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