Last day of February 2009...

I always seem to be so temperamental about final day of the month and stuff.. wonder why? hmm.. not sure though.. perhaps, it helps me to get started on my scribblings... an inspiration point? maybe.. *wink*

But honestly, time just flies by ever so quickly that I just couldn't believe it!.. before long, I would be looking at job applications and stuff.. Frankly, not sure what I would be doing.. There are many aspects to consider. Uncertainties about the visa and all.. but I just received news that I am eligible to apply for the "Post-Study-Work" Visa. PSW as they called it in short. That is the first step of clearance and I am still praying and seeking the Good Lord..

Looking back from this juncture of life, I am glad that I am here.. glad that I have took on the studies.. Actually, the studies, the results is not the important thing but the lessons I am learning while doing them, they are precious and valuable.. Handling procrastination behaviour.. somehow not really there yet but the awareness of it is important to prayerfully tackle it and to overcome this weakness. It takes time.. Sometimes, I win and sometimes, I lose..

Admittedly, there are still fears popping about what to do next, where to go next.. Yet, there is this undercurrent peace of God within me, assuring me of His provision and goodness.. See the difference of train of thoughts? hehe.. I saw it after I wrote it!.. *grin*.. Anyway, I very much realised that "fear" will come some days but it is alright.. because I am assured in His peace and assurance. It is just like temptations will come but because I know who I am in God, I could face them and they would not have a hold on me.. So, as I scribble today, I could sense that fears do not have a hold on my thoughts.. Somehow, because this life was literally saved by God in 2008, it is not mine anymore and because that truth sank so deep within me, it freed me from holding life so tightly like before..... But, for me, I have to go through that process.. It would probably be different for different ones.. God has His ways... because He knows us! *wink*.. However, the alertness of the mind is important too.. What do I truly believe? Who do I truly believe? Just love it as God reveals truths like these.. He is so Awesome!..

*chuckle*.. A thought came was.. it is irony.. life is... and it can be rather crazy too!.. but you know what? I don't mind them so as long as I am walking closely with God, being loved by Him and loving Him and His people.. the undercurrent peace of God is what I enjoy, regardless of the circumstances and situations around me.. yipppee..... thank You o God.. *smile sweetly upward*......