HOME!

In 24 hours time.. I am heading to homeland! after two and half years.. Gosh.. not sure what to expect.. Just trusting God.. That is all I could do and am comfortable of doing just that.. Trusting that He will guide my steps as I spend time in homeland.. time with family... meeting friends.. saying things that I meant to say..

There is that mixed feelings.. which I am unable to put my fingers onto. Unable to use words to describe it. The one comforting thing is that God is with me and He will make all things beautiful in His Time! Yay!.. *grin*

"Happy" food!

Yummy!

Lord, have mercy..

I am very much aware at this hour of day that the spiritual battles are real and strong..

But I could rejoice in the Lord because I could fight strong and well because He is at my side! Yay! Lord, have mercy and may I fast and pray and intercede in Your ways.. 

and I am reminded of Romans 8:28.. His Word stays true in all situations!

Thank You Dear Sweet Jesus.. *grin*

Sweet contentment..

what does it mean to have contentment.. and on top of it all, a sweet contentment?

It is lovely to be able to enjoy being contented; even when there are uncertainties in life.. even when there are unanswered prayers.. 

Father, You know my heart's desires.. You know the very things I need.. I know they will be provided for in Your timing, in Your way.. Thank You O Lord for giving me the sense of sweet contentment and being thankful in the midst of changes.. 

Peace and joy is what I seek.. O Lord.. being available for You and for Your use.. 

*grin*

Things that make me laugh!

I have been thinking about this.. What are the things that make me laugh... and I find it rather amusing as I think about it as it could be anything, really!.. And the other amusing thing is that it is nice to be laughing about things that I never thought would make me laugh.. That's kinda neat, I would think.

Ah!.. Life.. people.. experiences.. various bits that I do find rather lovely.. and fun!.. Love to have that sense of freedom to laugh and have fun!.. to enjoy moments.. to enjoy people.. to love life as it comes! Yay! This is possible because of He who says 'I am'.. and I look forward to what my dear Lord has installed for me in the days to come.. I am waiting in anticipation. *wink* What do I mean by that? I am not sure about it myself but I am praying and waiting.. All I know is that it will be beautiful and I again will be awed by Him!.. Hee..

A portrait...

I thought this was really cool.. 

and I feel privileged and blessed in many ways;
beyond words could express.

Just enjoying the Lord's blessings.

*grin*

"Funny!"

As this word came to my mind today, it is "funny" in a good sense. "Funny" in a humorous sense as I think about what the Lord is doing and what He is showing me. Just finding humor in discovering His sense of humor as it were.

It is surely amazing to be able to see the fun and laughter of life and to enjoy the moment; even as I am in the office this very minute. Kinda strange that I could be here on a Sunday morning but yet, this is the place where I could come anytime.. the sense of peace that I enjoy. It is not so much about the work I am doing. I never had that with my previous work. And, I guess I kinda do enjoy it. Able to have the freedom to come anytime. And, think this could work in terms of being discipline which I am totally not!

Well....... Funny!.. how life is.. and indeed I am thankful to Him; to be where I am.. Never really thought I would be here. Who would have thought? Who would have known? Only my sweet Heavenly Daddy would know.. to place me where I am now in order for me to do what I am doing now.. *wink*

"what do you mean?"

As I am trying to figure out figures, stuff flying by my brain too.. always multitasking.. Possibly a gift from God, that is. Else, never thought of even have the capacity and ability to do all I am doing at one time. Just love when the Lord reveals deeper stuff and deeper understanding, even with the numbers that I was trying to figure out! Yippee!.. 

So, what's with the question, "what do you mean?"? Not sure why I decided on this as the topic of this post.. I guess that is the one of my typical questions that I like to ask when I have conversations with people. In order to understand, I would ask. And, I have a teeny feeling that this is also my utmost question that I ask of the Lord too regularly.. I love the idea now; having the freedom to ask, without feeling 'stupid' as I am more secured in Him. What a breakthrough.. what a revelation and fun this is. :)

Well, back to the excitement of numbers revelation! It is progressing! Thank You O Lord! :)

Feeling sad..

Things happened.. but it is how people respond to it that shows the hearts of people. I am feeling sad today. Sad because of how people response. Why would people response in such ways? hmm.. Oh Lord.. Please allow me to learn from all these.. that I could learn what You intend me to learn, O Lord.. I know as I ask, You will answer me.. Thank You Lord..

My New Agape Family in UK..

This is my new Agape Family in UK;

people that I work with everyday.. 

People that I see day in and day out in the office.. 

What a privilege to be part of this family.. 

to work together; to pray together; to encourage one another.. 

God is continuously surprising me with many things.. *grin*

Co-worker..

My co-worker in the Agape office.. whom I work very closely with; in terms of getting the accounts to date and in order.. :)

A phrase for this season..

"Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace"

now, that would be very interesting..

Shall scribble more on this thought later..

Just wanted to share this phrase for now..

It is in Matt 11:28 (msg)

Being real...

walking on the road..

sitting in the bus..

eyes looking..

observing..

in all that I do; I observe.. I think.. I reflect..
the whole idea of being real.. 

am I trying too hard?

am I letting it go and be me?

What a question? or is it?

Is it normal to ask such questions?

Am I the only one asking? hmm.. 

How do I be real in living?

How do I be me in all that I do and say?

Hmm.. What would Jesus do?

*wink*

Psalm 91:4...

Father, You will cover me with Your feathers, 

and under Your wings I will find refuge; 

Your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart.
Thank You Dear Daddy..

Living with people..

is

an art.. 

a skill to learn.. 

a time to accept and love people for who they are.. 

a time for grace too.. 

and it is fun too!

It really depends on how we choose to see it, isn't it?

TEN Conclusions on John 1:1 - 18

Just would like to share here an assignment that I did at my first Agape staff conference. A list of TEN conclusions on this short passage of John and the reasons why John wrote them (my reasons, of course). Thought it would trigger our thoughts a little more as you read on.. Well, this is my TEN conclusions that I have come up with and it isn't exclusive on its own. This was what I was inspired to as I reflected.. Hope you would be encouraged..

1. Jesus is the Word and He is there since the beginning with God. John wrote this to emphasize the importance of putting this crucial truth across to the readers and from the start.
2. It is concluded that without Jesus & God, nothing would have been made. This implies that God is the creator of all things.
3. It is concluded that only Jesus could shine in the darkness and whoever follows Him will have the light of life. John wrote this because it is God's desire that all can be in the light.
4. God sent John, the baptist to prepare the way for Jesus so that people are expecting His coming to them. Or the least, people would know someone is coming and He would be the Light.
5. If people receive Jesus into their lives, they would be children of God and have the heritage of God. This is important, to have the sense of belonging and commitment from God. In particularly, on how God views His people.
6. It has been known to Jesus that as He comes to the world, He would be rejected and yet, He still comes. This was written to indicate how much Jesus loves His own people.
7. Jesus is the only Son from the Father. THis was written to bring that connection clear to the readers.
8. Jesus has come to the world and lived among His people so that His people would experience His grace and truth. This indicates He desires to be with us and His willingness to know each person individually.
9. God gave the law through Moses; He gave grace and truth through Jesus. THis was written so that we could have personal relationship with God through Jesus.
10. God is the ONLY God. Jesus and God are one. This probably was with the intention of pointing to the truth about the Holy trinity; the very first attempt to bring this idea to the readers?

May you be inspired to look at gospel of John for yourselves.... If you do not have a bible with you, no fear.. It is available online too. Please click on this blue link below .. and enjoy reading what John has written about Jesus and discover nuggets of truths for yourselves as you read along...
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+1&version=NIV

As for me, I hope to do more studies on gospel of John too on my own, using the methods that I have re-learnt.. I am excited to see what God has to say to me through His Living Word. I may well scribble some of those here in the days to come. Hence, look out for this space as I explore and reflect.. *wink*

Missing someone..

ha!.. I am!.. missing someone.. not only someone but many 'ones'... and it is nice to be missing someone.. just allow me to appreciate them even more while they are not here with me.. appreciate the relationships and friendships.. the times we had.. the chats we had.. the fun we had.. the laughters.. the tears too!

Been thinking.. praying.. dreaming.. oops.. oh well.. life is about dreams that come true.. isn't it? life is about making the best of what is given to us.. life is about people that He has brought into our lives.. how we could be there for one another, love one another, care for one another.. and that just pleases Him. He desires us to dance, laugh, play, share and so much more for His Glory.. to invite others to join us in this exciting journey of faith and belief in Him.. 

Coming back from my very first Agape staff conference just made me think of many things.. of the many challenges and fun ahead.. and the much more possibilities ahead too! It just blew my mind away.. I am still very much trying to absorb and make sense of things.. just awesome! That is all I could say.. For once, I am speechless.. Yes, my sweet Heavenly Daddy, I am speechless.. Think I have been speechless for months now.. Still couldn't make sense of things that had happened, really. I wonder, would I ever will? Possibly not.. and I just know somewhere inside me that there are more to come!.. *grin*

Missing people is a good feeling.. Missing their fellowship.. Missing their humour.. Missing their chats about their passion and what inspires them in life!... And more importantly, missing them means they are very special to me in my little heart. *wink*

Cleaning Spree!..

Just feel like I am on a cleaning spree the past weeks and in the days to come... Lots to clean.. Think being in my previous place did trigger something within me.. Am I a person who loves to clean? hmm.. not sure about loving to clean.. but would love a clean place!.. hee.. So, I guess if I want a clean place, I have to clean then!.. Think I am almost done with the bathroom.. I am cleaning little bit of the kitchen.. There is the windows in my room to clean too!.. Think I will do those after my staff conference.. 

Maybe the good Lord is saying something to me about cleaning.. to keep the house clean.. My next purchase after the conference would be a dyson vacuum cleaner!.. Looking forward to that! I heard that it is a very good vacuum cleaner.. I desire to vacuum my room to dust free! *grin*

A Berekah...

It means.. 'A Blessing'... I learnt this on Monday devotion in the office which I find to be very helpful.. to list down 10 things to thank God for;.. followed by another 10.. and another 10.. etc.. And, to write a Berekah with them.. and here is my version of it.. :)

"Praise be to You, O Lord, who gives friendships and relationships to me. Friends (regardless of age; 2 1/2 years old to 70 years old and beyond) who are there to support, care, love & pray. Friends whom I have learnt various things from and be a better person. This is so that I could continue to grow even closer to You, O Lord. You know exactly what I need to be changed even when I don't understand it. Please bless all my friends, colleagues and family; keep them close to Your side too, Lord.

Blessed are You O Lord who is my Provider in all forms.... protection, peace, love, joy, fun time and so much more!

Thank You O Lord for ever being there, never giving up on me and continuing to see me through thick and thin. Amen"

I really find this exercise to be very enlightening and refreshing!.. It encourages me the space and time to write down stuff and to focus on Him.. To me, this is the best part of being in Agape.. to be able to engage in things like this; making it as part of my daily routine at work.. Love it!.. God really does know exactly what I need! *grin*

Nomadic feeling..

Just having this feeling of being a nomad!
If this is of the Lord, may I truly enjoy being a joyful one!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... What to discover next?

Progress...

As I hear many good news, one thing that came to mind is that there is progress in people's lives.. and naturally, I would ask the question of.. "how about me?".. "what are my progress?".. Really have to be careful not be sucked into the mode of comparing but turn my eyes to Jesus... Yet, it is so easy to focus on the "seen" progress and forget about those "unseen" ones that the good Lord has blessed me with.. 

"Sorry dear God for losing sight of things even for a moment.. Please help me to be contented with what I have at this hour.. be celebrating with others of their "seen" progress in lives.. and wait upon You, Lord..."

Oh! I so look forward to seeing my two special munch-kins.. they have grown so much.. and am so excited for the third one coming along coming year.. Praying for he/she as he/she grows in mummy's womb... Actually, I wonder.. should I go home for good? I am missing out not being there but yet, I recognised that by me being far away, I could really see greater spiritual growth.. and I do remember the Lord said to me few years back that, "your work is done here and it is time to go..."  But I do feel torn in-between at various times recently.. Never would I ever thought I would actually feel that way.. yet, I do.. I am feeling it!.. feeling the feelings that I don't usually feel in the past.. gosh.. amazing stuff!.. And as I feel it, I want to pray into it.. and pray for my family back home.. *grin*

Thought about it but at the same time contented..

amazing but true.. thoughts do come about various things especially seeing the updates of friends on facebook.. asking the when, who and how.. and yet, where I am now, I am contented.. My next thing that I look forward to would be my move.. then probably followed by my trip back home in December.. of course, I am sure there are many exciting things happening in between August and December at Agape for me from Him... and then, come 2012, a little car of my own.. the rest I have no clues.. but I am contented and know He will surprise me with much.. All I ask is that my family back home are well taken care of.. that they are safe and they are walking close with God.. I am increasingly praying that their lives would be wonderfully touched by Jesus in every way especially Joshua and Tiffany... I am claiming what He says in His Word.. that I am free to do His work and I do not need to worry about other stuff but trust Him to take care of them and that includes my family.. includes my health.. includes my needs.. my desires.. so on and on.. yay!.. *grin*

The Lord is watching over me and my family... So comforted in His truth and promises.. :)

Being proud..

Just feeling proud of this two girls and one boy.. I guess it is because I had the privilege in participating in their journey as they toiled in their studies, assignments, projects the past one to two years.. Three amazing testimonies, different in their ways and yet the ultimate result is that His Name is glorified in all three testimonies.. Thank You O Lord.. :)

Controlling..

Just amazing that people can be seriously very controlling.. ish...
me dislike!

well.... I am off.. not going to hang around....

At least, I have tried.. and after trying, it didn't work out. Hence, time to move on.. Just feel so happy that I no longer feel obliged to hang around.. Able to make clear decision to leave and walk after seeking His peace. :)

Helping friends sometimes do cause inconveniences.. but the heartache is when the help wasn't even appreciated.. oh well.. who am I to judge? The Lord knows my heart and He knows my desires and He will grant them in His time.. Anyway, as for now, I am looking forward to my move in 12 days time! Gonna have a mini party when I am in the new place.. lalalalala... 

Another move..

Yup!.. I am moving again.. and hopefully and prayerfully, it would be for a longer term.. Excited about this move as there are much potentials.. and much opportunities ahead in this new accommodation arrangement.. one that I have been praying for and He has answered. So excited!.. *grin* Thank You Lord for Your way of provision and Your Timing too.. 

Optimism...

The glass is half full... not half empty.. 

Optimism is a learned skill or it could be in built.. I discover that I love optimism even more these days that when someone who is negative is around me, I could pick it up immediately.. Is that a good thing? I believe that every situation I went through or going through has its lesson for me to learn to be a better person.. Only the Lord knows what is best for me as I avail myself to Him... I really do want to please Him with my life. Am I living such a life? A life that is pleasing Him? I have my flaws and weaknesses.. Yet, the Lord uses me in my flaws n weaknesses..

As I think of my current accommodation arrangement, did I make a wrong choice by moving? Hmm... Guess I will never know but I'm taking it as a cultural and language challenge.. An important lesson to learn.. Shall try not to read in between the lines and just be myself.. :)

What a child is meant to be?

(by Vineyard UK)

In my weakness I find

That your strength knows no bounds

And in my loneliness I find

That the everlasting arms surround me

And even with this fragile heartI find a place to rest here 

Safe where you are

And I am falling into grace again

And I am run – ning where mercy never ends

Lord I’m learning that your love can cover me

You are teaching me

What a child is meant to be


A Song that touched my heart at the last Growing Leaders session on 09.07.11... I am a child of God.. :)

Roller Coaster Ride with God..

It is a Corkscrew roller coaster where it is going round and round with the same distance from the middle all the time.. Signifying God will always be in the same distance and closeness to me as I take this ride of a lifetime with Him and I am always safe in Him.

And He has made Romans 8:28 so true in my life.. Once upon a time, the idea of roller coaster ride was horrifying for me even the thought of it because of a bad experience. Yet, today, He has turned it to positive.. turned it for the good for me.. It will be lots of fun!.. and there will be more than just me on it.. As I giggle with gleeeeeeee and fun...Others will be attracted to me and want to join me on this ride.. Lord, may this picture be clearer and clearer in Your Time.. and Father, as I pray, I pray that I would know who these others are.. and how I would be connected with them and invite them to join me.. or even, they would come and ask if they could join me in this adventure.. 

yippppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee!.. 

His Timing..

Me a happy bunny at this hour..

very...

 coz it is His Timing.. and He hears my cry..

*waiting in anticipation*

*blink Blink*

No Topic... just a question..

"Father Lord, how would you want me to respond?"....
to take heed of the need to move? or to remain?
I need much peace and many confirmations to move..
Lord, please grant me clarity.. I know You will. :)

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Cut and paste the following paragraphs from Nehemiah Notes: When someone lets you down.. (pls click on it to read the full article)... It is such a good read and encouragement as well as reminder for me at this time... :)

"Yet our greatest need--far and away--is to appreciate God’s creative sovereignty in our life and his infinite concern for us. When that perspective is right, our negative feelings toward others often dissolve. Genuine forgiveness becomes possible. And when confronting someone is necessary, we are able to do it in a more relaxed, confident spirit.

The bottom line is that God is not our adversary but our friend. We can’t remind ourselves of this fact too often. If the example of Joseph isn’t convincing enough, he has given us his clear promise in Romans 8:28: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” And to make the point even more emphatically, Paul reiterates it in different words three verses later: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:31).

The friendship of Christ is the overriding factor that touches every relationship and encounter of life. In this matter he has not withheld his hand."

And it wrote about one of my favourite bible verses... Romans 8:28... Indeed, things will be worked out for good of those who love Him.. think and reflect on that.... *wink*

His Will Be Done..

that is all I am asking and praying that His Will Be Done in my life.. even when I do not understand it.. 

And, the beauty of how He has provided the "missionary" visa for me on the 16th June was just beyond words.. Well, to me, it is.. It did match to what I have been feeling.. which is a confirmation in some sort.. an encouragement from Him that I do hear Him about myself and it isn't a myth.. 

There is work still to be done in Birmingham for me.. and which is why I am to stay on.. Lord, please show me what they are as I take one step at a time.. each day.. praying.. seeking.. doing.. 

Lets the fun begins!.. heeeee... Thank You O Lord.. 

Jesus..

He is my answer..

He is my comforter..

He is my provider.. 

He is my encourager..

He knows the plan for my life..

He knows me in and out, upside down..

He loves me for who I am.. 

He loves me even when I make mistakes..

He knows my heart...

He cares.. 

He guides.. 

He is my friend.. best friend..

He is my Lord Saviour..

He is my everything..

Without Him, I am nothing..

Without Him, I would still be in the pit.. 

Without Him, I would be running after the wrong things..

At this junction.. at this very special moment.. even as I reflect and pray about what is ahead of me.. with the visa appointment scheduled tomorrow.. the sense of where does God wants me to be.. Birmingham? Malaysia? Does it really matter where I would be? I do miss home.. I do miss friends back home.. yet, I could see the potential here in this place... but what is God saying? I wish I could be at two places but I couldn't.. My prayer is that I would have His peace; no matter what happens to the 'verdict' of the visa.. Even if it means staying on, or even if it means going back.. Even if it sounds cliché.. I want to say.. "Thy Will be done, O Lord".. (Matthew 6:10)

Crucial Crunch of thought..

When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.

Deuteronomy 20:1

WWJD

This is my question I want to ask as I look at every task or situation that is before me.. for, honestly, I just feel really weak.. unclear in my tiny brain.. Feel like nothing is stable.. EXCEPT.. in Him... And I don't think I could decide anything with my own rationale.. Hence, will solely ask this question..

"What Would Jesus Do?"

And trust Him to help me in my thoughts.. Trust Him for wisdom to speak clearly and be confident in Him.. It is not me at work, it is Him who is at work.... :)

God, are you with me?

Is Your presence here with me?

Is this place where I am suppose to be?

Or Is there another place that I am suppose to go?

Father, I know You hear my cry and my prayer.. Let me hear You.. 

Let me hear Your voice clearly for You are speaking all the time, Lord.. 

All that I have is from You..

Nothing belongs to me..

And I just want to praise You..

I just want to live a life that honors Your Name..

Walk the journey in obedience to Your Will for me..

It is simple yet not that simple..

Teach me Lord again to walk step by step..

Trusting You a little bit more.. and extra more.. 

*smile*

Stronger...by Mandisa...

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/stronger_lyrics_mandisa.html

links and connections..

Because of God's love, we are all connected to many and many of His children.. all over the world.. and it is such a beautiful picture... to learn how to love and care for one other..; to inspire..; to protect..; to challenge, sometimes..; to just being there for one another..

I am thankful to Him for all my friends.. in all the forms and shapes that we are all in.. for all the connections He has allowed me to have.. whether short or long... whether on the surface or in depth.. Each is precious and significant. I feel very blessed as I reflect and give thanks to Him!.. *dancing in my heart, praising Him!*

few more pieces.. or just one more piece?

As I reflect today during my 1st retreat day in Agape.. Just felt that there are missing pieces... and the Lord will make them clear in His timing as to what, where, who, how they are.. At this moment, I have no clue what so ever.. maybe a little clue here and there but was about it.. 

Sometimes.. it can be rather challenging to be in this state and yet the peace of God is all I need to be where I am.. to trust Him a little more.. and to learn how to deal with the unbelief that I may have and I know I have them!.. I would be lying to say I have none.. *grin*

And,.. there are times where I would try to see if certain things fit into the picture He has for me.. Hence, this picture.. It can be rather discouraging when I thought that this could be the right piece but yet when trying to fit into the picture, it doesn't fit.. Oh well.. it is a matter of letting that go and wait.. hee.. and He has given me so much grace and love that I know with all my heart that it is worth the wait..

Even as I reflect about His goodness.. I just so thankful for His Love.. everlasting Love.. and the knowledge and truth that He will never fail me and He will provide exactly what I need and many a times, He would bless me with the things of my heart's desires which are just so mind-blowing that He cares so much to do that? *wink*

Our God reigns...

This tune just stuck in my head today after I heard it in church..... that truly, He reigns.. and
He reigns in all situations!..
How comforting that is.. really! Especially for me.. and I just wanna proclaim that indeed He reigns!.. And this allows me to recognise that I do have unbelief and able to ask God,
 "Lord, help me overcome my unbelief"
 (like the father in Mark 9:23 - 25) oooh.. Just love it when I am able to hear Him.. *grin*

A Life of God-worship...

Today at an event in church titled "God doesn't do waste".. this particular bible passage that was shared spoke to me... Matthew 6: 19-34 in 'Message' version.. 

*******

 ^19-21"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

 ^22-23"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!

 ²⁴"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.

 ^25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

 ^27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

 ^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

 ³⁴"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

*******

And the speaker talked something about relationships too.. that we are just too easy to waste relationships and not make effort to reconcile. Instead our first reaction is to get rid of relationships that are challenging rather quickly.. That really made me think.. and start thinking and reflecting on the relationships that I have.. And I think it is true.. somehow, the way how we respond is affected by the "consumerism" behaviour.. which is scary if we are sucked into that.

There is this one particular friendship that I am praying for restoration and reconciliation.. hmm.. wonder what would happen.. All I know is, it is in God's safe hands.. and that is good enough for me.. and I believe that in His Time, it will be restored and reconciled in a beautiful way... even though at this moment it looks very bleak!.. God can change the impossible to possible.. *grin*

Verdict on 16th June 2011...

My appointment with the Home Office is scheduled to be on 16th June 2011, 10am at Solihull branch.. This will determine whether I am staying on in Birmingham for the coming two years or not.. I will know whether I am getting the work visa.. First time ever I am going to Home Office in person.. hee.. Please pray with me.. as I fill in the form, make sure the necessary documents ready for inspection and that all things are in order to get the "green" light! If this is the will of God for me...

Kay.. time to zzz.. and wake up early to fill up the form.. :D

Serious?

(Pic from this website)

I think I am serious.. I am feeling homesick.. maybe it is the current living environment that is making me homesick? The sense of feeling trapped.. oh dear.. Why am I feeling this at this moment of time? I don't think it has anything to do with my friend-cum-landlady or does it?.. but there could be some hidden buttons being exposed and pressed that I could possibly need to face and overcome? Need to ask the good Lord...

This is so crazy but the feelings are real.. Well, at least I think they are real!.. I just want to go homeeeeeeeeeeeee.. It doesn't make sense, actually.. Hmm..  Lord, have mercy on me, please.. SOS! Or I wonder is it because I am burden-carrying for someone? The feelings are unbearable.. and I think I am possibly burden-carrying for someone.. for I hardly feel homesick!.. Lord, please allow me to differentiate.. and to pray and to intercede.. I need Your strength O Lord.. Thank You O Lord.. 

Directions..

Somehow, it just struck me today as I am at my 'old' friend's place, having to meet up with friends of 20-odd years.. that, the choices we made in life does determine where we are at and the directions we are going to take.. Well, I do know that but yet, today, it struck me more.. Hmm.. and even for myself, I never thought I would be where I am today.. the very things that I thought are important are no longer important anymore.. It would be nice to have them but I somehow have no urgency or urge to must have them. Perspectives have changed? Priorities have changed? Perhaps. And the beautiful and amazing discovery is that I am at peace with God and with myself and happy for others to have them.. the 'successes' in life.. Deep down, I believe God will provide them in His Time.. for He knows my desires and needs. *grin*

And the whole idea of not comparing with others does make a huge difference.. It is so easy to compare.. Yet, as the Lord Jesus said, "what is that to you?" when Peter asked about another disciple in John 21. To me, that indicates that we are not to compare with others.. and be faithful in and thankful for what is/are given to us. Thankfulness in all situations is a skill.. a choice we are to constantly make.. The good Lord is teaching me this lots!.. to be thankful.. and to see good out of situations, no matter how bleak they could be.. for the Lord is in control.. He has great plans for every one of us.. small, big.. medium.. any sizes and forms.. so exciting!.. yay!.. *wink*

Lets go and play!

Had my first attempt at sailing last Sunday. Interestingly, I still could remember clearly that my friend's hubby (Adam) said, "now, lets go and play!" after he briefed me about the boat and also about what I needed to do with the various 'strings'; other bits and pieces .. Hmm.. It was like, there are some preparations; briefings.. before we can go and play and have fun!..

Alot of times, the things we are to embark on in life in the coming days require that too.. preparations; briefings; trainings.. before we could go and play!.. Some would require more preparations.. some less.. and who is the best person to know how much we need? Take a quick guess? Daddy in Heaven.. :) He knows exactly what we need to be prepared, be briefed, be trained... for what is ahead!.. 

So.. once we are ready.. there we go!.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... mistakes will happen.. just like bruises and cuts will take place (in my sailing experience).. but that shouldn't stop us from going again (as well as in this case, sailing)... The more we go, the better we become.. And, this just so resonates with my feelings about my new assignment at Agape.. Lots of adventures ahead!.. hmm. I wonder this sailing experience is by chance or by His divine appointment so that I could connect the dots!.. I prefer the later, to be honest as that works for me!.. lol.. well, I could literally connect the dots and I love that!.. :D

A Rose..

This picture I took in my recent visit to London just spoke to me!.. and it reminded me about a story.. a story about a beast who is filled with lots of bitterness and anger and yet he was touched by a simple girl who shows love to him.. And it was a challenge for her to actually love him especially when he was being so mean! Yet, she did!.. There was just something in him that touched her heart.. a connection? The rose in this story was crucial.. It resembled timing.. and somehow, the thought that came to my mind was there is always hope.. even when we couldn't see any.. or even in the bleakest situation/ circumstance... 

And as I reflect.. I am so delighted to say that our hope is in Jesus.. He gives us hope in hopeless situations.. and as I think about HOPE.. Psalmist in Psalm 37:34 encourages us to..

"Hope in the Lord and keep His way.

He will exalt us to inherit the land;

when the wicked are destroyed, we will see it."

My next assignment...

http://www.agape.org.uk/Default.aspx

YuP!.. my next assignment is Agape Birmingham (a Christian Charity Organisation)... for how long? no clue!.. but I have the sense that it will be a very interesting assignment... and I know the door could only be opened by the One and Only Him who is "I AM".. and it will be kept opened for me to walk through.. even as the work visa element is to be dealt with in the coming days.. all in His perfect timing..

The video clip here provides a brief intro to Agape..

And think my next upcoming challenge would be the whole idea of financial support of individuals, groups, and churches which Agape relies on.. Trusting God in another level of provision.. scary.. yet exciting.. and He has begun to show me glimpses of it.. and provision not necessarily be in the form of monetary.. it could be in many forms and shapes.. 

Oh!.. did I mention that I am starting at Agape this coming Monday, 16th May 2011? Yup!.. new people to meet.. and work with.. and I get to play with IT stuff!... oooh.. looking forward to that!.. *grin*

What He opens no one can shut...

The Lord says in Revelation 3:8:
"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept My Word and have not denied My Name."

And I am claiming His Word for what is to come.. and know that I am able to walk through and overcome anything with His awesome peace and joy and love... *grin*

yippee?

I think I am still recovering from the shock!.. which I shouldn't be but yet I am.. Got the news! Got the job offer with Agape UK.. to do the very thing that I am trained for which is so amazing and I believe it isn't coincidence..

So, I am still not done with Birmingham, then.. I suppose so as this is the only door open for me to remain.. The impossible became the possible in His right Timing.. How awesome is that! And I get to do the other bits that I love to at the same time!

Much challenges ahead and yet much joy and passion too!.. hee.. Honestly, filled with mix feelings and yet at the same time, thanking Him for trusting me with the role.. Definitely has to go by His Spirit for I couldn't do it on my own... I am weak but He is strong.. *wink*

Devil of the past?

Ha.. is there such a thing, I wonder... ? but that phrase just stuck in my head for the past half an hour.. and I am so glad to say that even if there is such a thing or some times even bad memory of the past is being brought to the front at the present time, it doesn't affect me because I have overcame them!.. They have been sorted and dealt with at the foot of the cross in His presence as well as in the presence of Godly counsels.. I am truly glad and gleeful to be able to scribble this!.. to testify of His realness and His amazing Grace..

God never fails to surprise me with many things.. situations and people.. the people that He allows to cross path with me in this journey of exciting life! So beautiful!.. challenging sometimes to understand people's thoughts and yet it is a privilege to be able to walk by their sides.. and having them to walk by my side too.. to share our deepest thoughts and desires..

So.. yes, devil of the past, be gone in the Name of Jesus Christ!.. And Lord, please continue to fill me with your thoughts.. your Amazing Love.. your Everlasting Peace.. your Wondrous Joy.. *grin*

Further waiting..

looks like it! Further waiting... Ok, Daddy, I shall continue to wait... lalalalalalla..  and please please give me courage as I wait.. :)

the beauty of waiting in Him who has the perfect timing for me. *grin*.. kay, now, time to play! ta... 

Cultures..

Picture from http://www.dreamstime.com/

Since I moved, the whole idea of culture differences seem to be so real!.. Quite hilarious really.. even now as I am scribbling, there it happens again!.. another moment of culture difference!.. Maybe that is why I am spending more time in my sweet pink purple room, I think.... Wouldn't want to have too much culture clashes at one go!  Nevertheless and somehow, I believe the good Lord is teaching me something valuable here.. as I experience and observe.. 

And, more importantly, the LOVE of God is the key to hold everything together regardless of the differences of culture or even words spoken or actions shown.. Love of God and His Grace is awesome! Now, let me see.. how all these would lead to!.. even as I live here in this new place.. how to be sensitive? and how to say No.. It also teaches me lots of disciplines too!.. which is what I need at the moment, I think!.. 

Again, the good Lord always humours me with situations.. and people.. and the beauty of it all is that instead of feeling offended, I am laughing! and do find it quite amusing!.. ha! oh goodie! *wink*

Book for the day..

Since I am home today and in this nice, new and quiet room I am blessed with, I am going to focus on reading this book by Andrew Murray.. I am going to do a short book review of 2-3 minutes on it this coming 12th May at Spotlight on Christian Books which is held by ChaplaincyPlus - City Lights... I do wonder what I could share in that 2-3 minutes time about this book.. Well, I am sure I would get ideas as I read the book.. So, yes, that is what I am going to do.. indulge myself in this book and prayerfully be able to grasp hold of what God is telling me through this book.. I think the title itself already says it all... "With Christ in the School of Prayer".. to learn from Him and by His grace, to apply what I have learnt and make it real in my life so that I could grow and move to the next level of prayers.. Hee... 

Time will tell, Indeed!

I have scribbled in various occasions with this title.. "time will tell"... and yet, just want to scribble here at the wee hour about it again.. not too sure what I would be scribbling about but even as I reflect upon what has been happening as well as what hasn't been happening, just thinking about God's perfect timing.. 

http://kswpgoodfriends.wordpress.com/2009/07/17/gods-timing-is-perfect/

To me, it is precious to be at peace in Him as I wait upon Him in the unknown.. again, to learn to trust Him a little bit more than before. And, each step is beautiful.. breath-taking.. as I wait in Him.. as I embrace the fullness of His Love for me.. as I dwell in His awesome presence.. 

Just couldn't believe that it is May 2011 now!.. and the news and results that I am waiting for have yet to be revealed to me.. yet, I am at peace! which is rather unusual... but I am getting very used to it and I love it.. Being at peace even when I have no clue what would happen.. Is this what the bible calls "godly contentment" that I am experiencing? 1 Timothy 6:6 says "godliness with contentment is great gain"... Maybe, that is what it meant about being contented in God.. and it is great gain to be contented in Him!.. Nice! *wink*

Psalm 45

¹My heart overflows with a good theme;

I address my verses to the King;

My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. 

²You are fairer than the sons of men;

Grace is poured upon Your lips;

Therefore God has blessed You forever.

 ³Gird Your sword on Your thigh, O Mighty One,

In Your splendour and Your majesty!

 ⁴And in Your majesty ride on victoriously,

For the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness;

Let Your right hand teach You awesome things.

⁵Your arrows are sharp;

The peoples fall under You;

Your arrows are in the heart of the King's enemies.

 ⁶Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;

A sceptre of uprightness is the sceptre of Your kingdom.

 ⁷You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;

Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You

With the oil of joy above Your fellows.

⁸All Your garments are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;

Out of ivory palaces stringed instruments have made You glad.

 ⁹Kings' daughters are among Your noble ladies;

At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir. 

¹⁰Listen, O daughter, give attention and incline your ear:

Forget your people and your father's house; 

¹¹Then the King will desire your beauty.

Because He is your Lord, bow down to Him.

¹²The daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;

The rich among the people will seek your favour.

 ¹³The King's daughter is all glorious within;

Her clothing is interwoven with gold.

¹⁴She will be led to the King in embroidered work;

The virgins, her companions who follow her,

Will be brought to You. 

¹⁵They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing;

They will enter into the King's palace.

 ¹⁶In place of your fathers will be your sons;

You shall make them princes in all the earth.

¹⁷I will cause Your name to be remembered in all generations;

Therefore the peoples will give You thanks forever and ever.