My sweet family.. :D

Miss my sweet family.. think I emo today.. lol..

all about me!.. is it?

well... it seems like it.. with my recent photos... they were taken while having hotpot with the uni students group that I am part of and involved in currently... I love these two photos taken.. and so, I put them up here.. *grin*

and it is not all about me.. in this particular scribbling... coz I wanna put the group photo of the uni students group here too.. the recent one where almost everyone were there.. :) and each & every one of them are precious to God... please say a prayer as you look at the picture... that each of us in the group would personally encounter God in special ways.... that is my daily prayer.. *wink*

by the way.. not sure why but I was right smack in the middle!.. hehehe..

who is right?.. who is wrong?...

it just boggles my mind as I think about words spoken by people.. I wonder, who is right and who is wrong.. or is that such a thing, in fact? or could it be that both are right to some extend? in a sense, that is what I call the complexity of communications... so, how do I handle this confusion? this bizarre thought..? My first instance would be to run to my sweet Lord Jesus and ask Him.. but sometimes (unfortunately it does happen), I try to unravel it myself... and I fail tremendously with more "heartaches".. and it just dawns on me.. "aiya.. why didn't I ask God?"... *doink* *doink*.. call it "pride"... call it "ego".. well.. that is what people call "learning process", I guess.. or at least, that is what I would call it.. hehe..

Why are we so preoccupied of being right? ah-ha.. something to ponder about.. something to ask God about.. hehe.. *wink* and I also remembered a saying that goes something like this.. "does it matter in 1000 years time? if it doesn't, means it is not worth the time 'arguing' about".. but what is the balance? how do we strike a balance? I am learning.. heee..

Reconciliation...

The ministry of reconciliation as written in 2 Corinthians 5:11-21 (NIV)......

Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

first, be reconciled to God.. and then to one another......

May the word of God speaks true in our hearts..

Who is reading my scribblings?

I am a curious cat today.. Just wondering who has been reading my scribblings..... So, if you are reading my scribblings, could you drop a line or two? haha.. I would love to know who you are.... I already have a few names off my head.. but it would be great to hear from you..... *hugs*

Where is home?

This is an extension of my earlier scribbling....... there are many definitions for "home".. but one very interesting definition is.. "dwelling place"..

We people need the Lord......

Indeed.. people need the Lord.. only if they realise that in their hearts... It is so easy to think that people need "me" or "us".. actually, it is really the Spirit of God within me and us that they need..... That something different about "me" or "us" that attracts people...... That peace of God.. that joy of God.... that love of God...

Well.. I ponder about this even as I think of the days ahead.. whether to go home in March? Actually, come to think of it, where is "home"?

Home is where I find myself rested.. where I feel belonged.... Is it really about the place/ country where I was borned? Or somewhere else? Hmm.... Interesting.. very interesting, in fact..... Only the Lord knows where my coming "home" would be..... I am clueless.... I tried figuring it out.... but could it be figured out? Only in His time, it will be revealed....... so, in the meantime, I just wait in Him..... :)

Logical?

Is life logical? depending on what we are referring to, I guess.. which areas? and my guess is that when life is utterly illogical to me, my eyes would be fully turned to the One.. And I emphasize the usage of word.. "Fully".. not partially.. not quarterly.. but fully.. Hmm.. but will life be utterly illogical to some point? and will my eyes be "fully" turned to Him if it does happen?

My best guess is that life to be utterly illogical would happen..... perhaps it is even happening now for my own.. However, my eyes will never be "fully" turned to Him in life because I am still a sinner and still fall short of His Glory.. That's where His Grace and His Love comes in... He knows I always end up doing wrong things and looking at things the other way.. eventhough how much I try.. Which is why He came and die for me.. In a sense, it is truly a learning journey of life to fix my eyes on Jesus..... Of course, when life seems utterly illogical, it would be seemingly quicker for my eyes to fix on Him because there is no one else, there is no other place... yet, there are other distractions... I wonder what the Lord would do with me, being so weak, so silly... hehe.... Well, He still loves me.. He still welcomes me.. He wants to be every part of my life.. It is so comforting and so restful to know that deep in my heart.. and knowing His truth sets me free..

So, from that perspective, it is okay for life to be illogical....... it can be rather fun, in fact.... but God has to be in the picture...... He has to be every part of it.......... *wink*

Do I really know?

how to live by the "Faith Rule"? What does it mean? Well, the following devotion reading spoke about it.. Interesting to read and reflect on it.. :D

****

Living By 'The Faith Rule'

These all died in faith...

Hebrews 11:13 NKJV

The Bible says, 'These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them… ' (Hebrews 11:13 NKJV) People of faith anticipate what God promised, whether they ever experience its fulfillment or not. 'How can I believe in a promise I don't see fulfilled?' you ask. People like Abraham didn't live to see the ultimate fulfillment of God's promise in their lives, yet they died believing it. Trusting God means banking on His Word, even when there's nothing visible to demonstrate that what He says is going to come true. Even when you're on your deathbed and it still hasn't happened, you still trust Him. That's living by faith. The words 'in faith' in this Scripture are different from the words used in all the verses that read 'by faith.' The words 'in faith' actually mean 'according to faith.' These people lived by 'the faith rule.' Faith was the ruling principle in their lives! So even if they went to their graves without seeing God's promises fulfilled, they exited saying, 'God still told the truth.' They knew that the fulfillment was coming, and they lived in anticipation of it. That's what God is asking of you today. He wants you to live before Him in such a way that you anticipate His promises, even when every circumstance seems opposite to what those promises say. It also means you don't manipulate the circumstances to 'help God out' as Sarah did when she produced Ishmael. It means trusting God to do it His way, in His time, and for His glory.

****

 

It does seem tough to live by that, don't you think so? Well, I would think so.. It really stretches me even just by thinking of it.... what about living it? Hmm.. Only by His strength that I am able to live before Him in such a way that I anticipate His promises, even when every circumstance seems opposite to what those promises say..... Lord, have Your way, indeed..... I want to trust You to do it Your way, in Your time and for Your glory..... *smile*

God will never let go of me......

Yup.... He will never.... *grin*

This song just touched my heart early in the morning as I went for the morning prayer.......

Actually, I have already decided not to go for the morning prayer this morning but yet, there was the tugging in the heart to go.... God seems to say.. go not because you feel like going.. but go because I have called you to go.. So, it is not by feelings but by being obedient to Him... And, I am glad that I went... God always has some thing installed for me.....

I wonder.. why am I feeling tired today? Why do I feel downcasted? Oh Lord.. You know me.. and even as I think about these things, I am reminded of the famous prophet of all time.. Elijah.... how for one moment he could be so energetic and strong.. and then, another moment, he felt that he wants to die.... Lord.. Lord... what are You showing me? What am I to glean in this time? at this hour? Would I ever regret when I look back with hindsights that I have decided to stay on in UK? Did I actually hear You correctly? O Father.. I want to hear You clearly..... Please take away all those hindrances that are blocking my communication with You, Lord..... Open my ears and eyes to hear and to see...... That is my cry...... I want to hear You.. I want to see what You are revealing to me; in spirit as well as physically......

Thank You Lord for never ever let go of me...... *grin*

Utterly Disappointment..

I wonder.. did I feel that towards people or was it actually towards myself? Hmm.. Could it be that "perfectionism" has kicked in subtly? Oooh.. perhaps.. perhaps it has.. darn.. where did it come out from? Hmm.. What dear Lord is showing me? What am I to learn?

Just feeling downtrodden at the moment... and it is not even about having no job... haha...... This is absolutely crazy, I would think...

But am glad that I went for morning prayer this morning.... He reminded me again that life is not about me, not about others but it is about God.. so.. surrendering this feeling of disappointment to God and trust that He would turn it to something absolutely beautiful! in His Time.. *wink*

*grin*

Joshua has two cakes for his bday!..

cool, isn't it? hehehe.. He has two cakes..... He is so blessed!.. *wink*

My little nephew.. no longer that little anymore..

Josh has grown so much over the years and just turned 4 recently on 2nd November 2009..

Joshua, da-ku is very proud of you.. *grin* and will always be praying for you...... that you would grow up in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men just like Jesus (Luke 2:52)

2 Chronicles 16:9 says..

For the eyes of the LORD
range throughout the earth

to strengthen those whose hearts
are fully committed to Him.

What are you doing?

Keep Preparing Yourself

I have seen a son of Jesse... who is skillful...

1 Samuel 16:18 NKJV

David didn't suddenly become an expert marksman with a slingshot when Goliath showed up, or a master harpist when King Saul invited him to the palace. He took the long, slow, disciplined route. David had no idea what his future held, he simply found joy and fulfillment in discovering and developing his gifts. Your greatest obstacle to personal growth isn't ignorance; it's the illusion of knowledge. It's in believing you've 'arrived.' When that happens you're done growing, which means you're done! Which zone do you live in? The challenge zone: 'I attempt to do what I haven't done before.' The comfort zone: 'I only do what I already know I can do.' The coasting zone: 'I don't even do what I've done before.' Phillips Brooks said, 'Sad is the day for any man when he becomes absolutely satisfied with the life he is living, the thoughts he is thinking, and the things he is doing; when there ceases to be forever beating at the doors of his soul a desire to do something larger which he seeks and knows he was meant and intended to do.'

David's brothers knew his skills, yet none of them told King Saul about him. Be encouraged; you'll get there without them! 'Then one of [Saul's] servants… said, "Look, I have seen a son of Jesse… who is skilful in playing, a mighty man of valour… "' (1 Samuel 16:18 NKJV) David didn't compete with his brothers or complain about his status as a sheepherder. He just kept developing his relationship with God and sharpening his skills, and when the time was right God promoted him. So, keep preparing yourself.

*************

 

I like this devotion reading...... so.. what am I doing.. keep preparing myself in ways God reveals in my heart to prepare.... yippeeee... *wink*

a MAP... a PRAYER.. hee...

Pencil...

I read this quote by Mother Teresa yesterday
and it stayed with me... :D

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God
who is sending a love letter to the world"

"We are all pencils in the hand of God"

When does Rainbow comes?

n the midst of all the rain.. and all the gloomy times.. well... that was my observation... Rainbow comes during the rain and gloomy times especially when the rain is goin to stop and the gloominess starting to clear.. Is that coincidence? Hmm.. I don't think so.. It is really how God has created it to be such... Cool, isn't it? See the pictures that I have taken when I was in Coventry..... Rainbow appears in the midst of gloom and rain.. and then glimpses of clear sky in the second picture..... bits of the blue sky was visible.. Do you see what I saw? or what I am trying to illustrate? It is like.. Rainbow is a "sign" that gloomy times are going to be over and clear sky will come soon.... Comforting isn't it?

Ezekiel 1:28 (ESV) says, "Like the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell on my face, and I heard the voice of one speaking."

I just love His Word..... don't you? *grin* and He put ideas in my mind as I reflect upon His Word.. and He inspires me to scribble away... As I have mentioned before, it is a form of releasing what God has put in my heart.. to be shared with many.. when they are prompted by God to read my scribblings.. Frankly, the world does not need to know me.. They only need to know Jesus.. but if by knowing me could point them to Jesus, I pray He would use me.. I pray I am walking close with God enuf and way much more in order to reflect glimpses of Jesus to people who knows me..

Rainbow... an indication of Hope... and also that God knows what we are going through in our lives, our thoughts, our emotions.. Rainbow is definitely my kind of thing..... my soft spot.. heeeee...

Is this what I am going through? I wonder...

A recent devotion reading says, "If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others. Because of this process, you will never be surprised by what comes your way.". How interest this reading was.. and I do wonder whether is this what I am going through currently.. with no job coming along, lots of uncertainties looming ahead.. Hmm.. it is a rather nice way of putting things, don't you think so? This season of waiting is another block of experience to prepare me for what is ahead? I guess I would only know with hindsights in the days to come when I look back at this season of waiting.. awww.. that'd be really fascinating for the days to come.. However, currently, I can honestly say that I have a mix feelings of things.. coz I am still weak.. so, there are times, I feel rather lousy.. but thank God for His strength that sustains me where most times, I feel excited about what is happening currently.. It is really the matter of perspective.. and what I choose to see..

And the devotion reading continues with these questions and reflections, "Are we partakers of Christ’s sufferings? Are we prepared for God to stamp out our personal ambitions? Are we prepared for God to destroy our individual decisions by supernaturally transforming them? It will mean not knowing why God is taking us that way, because knowing would make us spiritually proud. We never realize at the time what God is putting us through— we go through it more or less without understanding. Then suddenly we come to a place of enlightenment, and realize— "God has strengthened me and I didn’t even know it!"" I am longing for that place of enlightenment... and yet realise the need to be in the present and to be available "mindfully"... I could have gotten carried away with my own situation/ circumstance and be completely useless.... I thank God that He remind me all the time about being intentional and being overcomer of my own situation.. and to look at Jesus.. focusing on Him..

Just as 1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." To choose to rejoice... and then be overjoyed when His glory is revealed in my current situation... His Word holds true.. even if I couldn't see what is ahead.. Like 2 Corinthians 1:5 says "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.", He always comfort me... He never fails to do that which is just amazing and very assuring.. Though I can't see what is ahead of me or even be certain of what I am going to do or where I am going to go, His Word is what I am holding on to and not let go. and you know, that is where being headstrong (stubborn in another word) comes in very handy indeed!.. God has His reasons for me to be who I am.. not justifying myself but just merely putting things into perspectives... *wink*

Randomness...

This word just came to my mind as I was thinking what to scribble in my bloggie.. and obviously, looking at the picture I have included in this scribbling shows the randomness of my thoughts.... *wink* Being random at times is a good thing.. as things do surprise me when I am being random in the things that I do or even think about.. especially with the things i do.. or people that I decide to visit or meet... or texts that I have decided to send out..

Anyway, coming back to the picture.. See the little reindeer on top right of the picture? hehe.. that's my new buddy... well, just couldn't resist myself and got him yesterday.. and I named him Brownie.. sweet fella isn't he? Little things like this just makes me happy and thankful about life.. and this is what I need, in a way.. being intentional about things.. Seeing God's goodness in lives around me and in my own life.. Being available to be used by God to touch lives, to encourage, to love.. because these reflect the core of God's heart.. Being random means being flexible and free as God prompts my heart to do.. Amazing stuff will take place... In fact, I have seen lots of amazing taken place in the past as I waited and prayed..

Funny, I always seem to be at a junction of life.. waiting and praying.. and this time round, the waiting seems to be rather long and quiet even..... I do wonder what will take place.. I do wonder what God has in mind.. At one hand, I am excited.. at the other, I am trying to wait gracefully even when it is tough at times..  and a recent devotion I read spoke the very thing that was in my mind which I would like share here today... :) I have highlighted my favorites with Bold and Red.. just my favorite part of the reading... and what has spoken to my spirit..

******

Daily Manna

November 13, 2009

Grace Abounds

By Os Hillman

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work

2 Corinthians 9:8

God always knows what we need before we even ask. I recall a few years ago when God was allowing my business to dry up - it happened in order to lead me to an entirely new calling. Lack of provision is one way God leads us to a new place. This was a scary proposition because I had many outstanding obligations to banks and others, and I had to have some significant cash flow to make these payments.

I was ending a consulting contract with a client and saw no prospects for replacing it. Days before the contract expired, I received a call from a new ministry that was consistent with the calling I sensed God was leading me to. They asked me to consult with them for the next year. At the end of that year, I learned that God spoke to the ministry's founder to pay my entire salary out of his own pocket in order to meet the needs I had at that time. This was no insignificant amount either.

At the conclusion of my contract with them, I was wondering where my income was going to come from for the next year. The day before I was informed that their commitment would decrease by 50%, I received a call from the administrator of our foundation. They informed me that a supporter had just given $20,000 to our ministry. God encouraged me through this gift to know that He was my provider.

God equips us to fulfill the mission He has for us. Whenever there is a lack of resources, God is either teaching us to trust Him in greater ways or He is using this to direct our path to new sources of income. Trust the Lord to bring you what you need in the timing that He determines.

Suggested Prayer:

Dear God, Thank you for sending special people into our lives. I can think of a very few who have meant so much to me and been such an encouragement and inspiration. I appreciate them so much...and miss the ones who have left this earth to be with You in eternity. Thank you, God, for the Holy Spirit, the Great Comforter who fills my heart, lifts my spirit, satisfies my soul, and brings your presence into my life. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

 2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

******

 

Intentionally making life count.. is a lifelong intention.. just like forgiveness.. which is interesting to me.. very interesting, in fact.. so much to learn.. and it is in His timing.. no rush.. no hush about it.. especially when there is the willingness to flow and move according to the leading of the Holy Spirit.... Being in His presence is such an awesome experience regardless what we are going through in life.. It feels real safe and joyful.. It may appear to be foolish and "crazy" to people who do not understand.. or do not know my Almighty God.. My prayer is that more and more people would come to know Him personally and be wonderfully touched in their lives.... and would join me in this journey of life of pleasing Him.. of walking the narrow but secured path in my Lord Jesus.. Not that I am there in "perfection"... I am still very much learning and will always be learning.... because I will always fall short and makes mistakes again and again... that just shows how much I need Jesus to be my guide, counselor and friend... *wink*

Gifts in a ShoeBox...

hmm.. I am just reflecting even as we (Seeds) are to go and buy little gifts to fill many shoeboxes later in the evening.. to be given to kids... Wouldn't it be lovely to see the faces of these kids as the shoeboxes are given to them? The smiles? The joy?

Even as I ponder.... thoughts about my little shoebox of life.... and thoughts about my Giver... and the look of my face when I receive gifts from Him.... Am I thankful? Am I overjoyed? Am I contented? It is amazing to even think about these things... it may be small but yet... meaningful.. sweet in many ways... *wink*

God has said...

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

So we say with confidence,

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

(Hebrews 13:5-6)

I am praying and asking God to teach me to be confident in Him.. to hold my head high because I have the Lord as my helper.. He will turn the impossible to possible.. So comforting, isn't it? *grin*

Fruitful day..

I think.. today is another fruitful day.. had my 2nd driving lesson.. bad habits still lingering around.. nevertheless, it has better improvements.. :D Then, it was visiting the recruitment agencies... I was feeling nervy to go but I prayed.. and I told God that it is not by my strength but by His Spirit that I am going.. In a way, I sort of guess what people may say.. However, now, I have done my part to the fullest that I know...... Hmm.. and leave them to God.. I am waiting in anticipation of His miracles to take place at this time when jobs are scarce where the employers are very picky...

As I think about it.. if I do get a job this time round, it is definitely a miracle from God.. and God never fail me..... *wink*

Let God's Word Settle It!...

How comforting this is... and it came in so timely for me.... Thank You O Lord... *grin* Do read on the following daily devotion I received this morning.. :) and be assured and encouraged like me..... heeeee...

Let God's Word Settle It!

Your word is settled in heaven.

Psalm 119:89 NKJV

Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones writes: 'It is the spirit and the word, the spirit upon the word, and the spirit in us as we read the word.'

You say, 'It's impossible.' God says, '"What is impossible with men is possible with God." ' (Luke 18:27 NIV).

You say, 'I'm exhausted.' He says, '"But those who wait on the Lord, Shall renew their strength… "' (Isaiah 40:31 NKJV).

You say, 'Nobody loves me.' He says, '… "I have loved you with an everlasting love"… ' (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV).

You say, 'I can't go on.' He says, '… "My grace is sufficient for you"… ' (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).

You say, 'I don't know what to do.' He says, '… "And He shall direct your paths."' (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV).

You say, 'I can't do it.' He says, '"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."' (Philippians 4:13 NKJV).

You say, 'It's not worth it.' He says, 'we will reap a harvest if we do not give up' (Galatians 6:9NIV).

You say, 'I can't forgive myself.' He says, 'in Christ God forgave you' (Ephesians 4:32 NIV).

You say, 'I can't make ends meet.' He says, 'God shall supply all your need… ' (Philippians 4:19 NKJV).

You say, 'I'm afraid.' He says, 'God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power… ' (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV).

You say, 'I can't handle this.' He says, 'Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you… ' (Psalm 55:22NIV).

You say, 'I'm not smart enough.' He says, 'if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it… ' (James 1:5 NCV).

You say, 'I'm all alone.' He says, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'(Hebrews 13:5 NKJV).

Billy Sunday said, 'I stand on God's Word, and if the book goes down, I'll go with it.' Today, let God's Word settle it!

Who is holding your steering wheel of life?

an interesting question to ask.. I would think.....

John 12:24-26 says.. "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

Reflect on the above verse!.. :) I am.. *wink*

Vroooom.....

hehehe.... I am scribbling as if this is my first time driving on the road!.. well, first time in UK... anyway, kinda fun!.. learning new stuff.. or rather the right techniques.. LOL.. lets see what would happen when I go for the test!.. I am praying from now on... coz I have heard so much horror stories of people going through the test many times before passing..... *grin*

Pass!

Yippee.. I passed!... well.. the driving theory test on Friday... It was kinda nerving actually when I was doing the hazard perception test.. unsure of what score I would get.. especially when my first video clip was scored "zero" due to too many clickings!.. goodness me.. what sort of test is this? Well.. throughout the whole test, I was praying.. and taking deep breathes... and looking at the clips so intensively!.. It was so uncertain and the exact feeling was like just trust God!... :)

well.. well... Had my first attempt at driving in the UK yesterday... and was driving manual on top of that.. ooh.. how tired my feet were..... LOL..... and I personally sensed that God is building up my confidence in doing things.. and to come to Him in everything, every part of my life.. even in driving!.. Sweet... *wink* Also, really thank God for providing the different means of help in various areas of my life.. sending people into my life, to help me.. to teach me.. to laugh with me.. to cry with me.. Just amazing.. Thank You O Lord.. *grin*

a cup of tea......

that's my tea... English tea in this adorable mug which well.. was from my previous rental place.. hehe.. not sure who it belongs to before... well, now, it is mine!.. hahaha.. anyway, one thing I acquire for the past one year of being in UK is to acquire my new found love for tea... I literally drank tea everyday except when I was back in Malaysia or when I know I shouldn't be drinking them... Just enjoy drinking tea as I do my work.. hmm.. what work am I doing especially when I am not working..... hahah.. it is the question of what I do with my time.... and I am learning to really appreciate time that I have.. to do many things, books to read, people to meet.. activities to go for.....

I think today, I am being rather optimistic about many things.. I am actually rather surprise myself to see such optimism... but am really glad to have it.... also, during this time, though my mom is far away back home, I am talking to her much.. about so many things.... "complaining" to her about what had happened and even to talk about anything under the sky.. I guess, really.. this is one thing I treasure much and in a way, it is worth to be away from home.. to be able to recognise in greater depth that my mom and dad are the most important people in my life other than Jesus.. and that no matter how many times I fall and make mistakes, they are there to support me.. the sacrifices they made go beyond words could describe.. really.. I am truly blessed by God for putting me into their lives..... they just give me such liberty and freedom to try new things..

and in this time, I am also trying to read this book.. by David Pawson, a renown bible teacher.. "Unlocking the bible...... " what better time to have this time of my life to discover more about His Truth in His Living Word..... I really hope to be able to cultivate such habit in reading His Word with eagerness and desire to learn and grow; especially so when I get busy in the days to come, with work and other stuff..... I know the Lord is helping me.. He is showing me the way.. *grin*

Do we have questions?

what questions are they? What are they about? I remembered last Tuesday at Alpha course, the speaker shared about people carrying lots of questions in their lives... People with big, huge and heavy question marks.. sometimes, because they are so heavy and huge, it makes the "carrier" so tired and even cause the "carrier" to timble tumble all over in the journey of life.... The challenge was to set aside these question marks and ...... look at life..... and more importantly, look at what Lord Jesus is telling us... Hmm...... I thought it was really profoundly well said by the speaker..... and I just love the way he illustrated it....

Well.. tonight is another night of Alpha...... I am praying that His truth would truly sprout in the hearts of the guests of Alpha..... Seeds have been sown.. it is really about God working in the hearts of people and helping them to come to that place of awe and praise to the Living God..... That is my prayer today for all the alpha courses that are running this week in every part of the UK as well as worldwide.... Even as I scribble and pray, I could feel a spiritual sense of movement..... How to explain it? hmm.. words just not able to describe it.. except to feel it as we pray...... the move of God....

Embracing life..

Aww.. this phrase just popped into my mind today as I think about today and what had taken place.. with not being successful in my hazard test.. and yet pass with with flying colors for the multiple choice questions.... But the end result is that I have to take both all over again.. and I am gonna do that this coming Friday...

Thinking about it.. guess, the lesson learnt here is that sometimes, we can never really know how to be ready for things..... well.. for example, the hazard test..... I thought it would not be that difficult and yet because I have missed out on how to tackle it, I didn't get through it.. Well, that's my 31pounds lesson learnt...... and of course, it is hard on the "pride" department.... but well, embracing life is also about embracing "failures" as well as "successes"..... That is really the fun of things.... well, if I look at it optimistically..... I could have chosen to mourn over it.. and be depressed.. but what good would it do to me? Nothing!.. In fact, it would only make me feel miserable and down...

Well.. I think God is teaching me to embrace life more gracefully... embracing failures with a tinch of optimism or maybe more?.... to learn and to grow..... to actually be joyful in spite of situations.... to rejoice in the Lord!.. :) Is this radical? hmm.. For me, I guess it is.... and I am enjoying it much more than few months ago... To lead a radical life.. one that is full with excitements and challenges..... with one utmost and constant source of life = Jesus!..... yippeeeeee....

Traffic Signs? Theory test?

This whole weekend is all about traffic signs.. about the dos and don'ts of driving.. bla blah.. coz I am going for a test on Monday!.. It is ages since I went for such test.. hmm.. Well, just have to go through it again because I am in a new country.... it is really like I am starting anew..... the process of starting anew started last year and it is still in the progress.. time consuming and sometimes can be frustrating but it is rewarding at the end.... and it is something which God has blessed me with... *grin* well.. I am off to be swimming with traffic signs and etc etc... heeee...

On a sunday morning 940am...

I was sitting on a bench with the view above.. in a cool breezy day.. filled with much inspiration to scribble and I did.... the thought that came on sunday morning (18.10.09) as I was sitting there by myself was ... hmm.. A journey to be travelled alone and yet in the midst of many.. And in this instance, 'alone' is not a bad thing.. There is a need for time to be alone.. It is something to be discovered even more, something personal.. and it can be real fun because I am not really alone.. as God is with me all the time.. His love just overwhelms me inside out..

It just amazes me to see many things taking place... how little things seem to be unfolding, as it were.. I know I am excited.. and I am asking God what does all these means? and just reflecting of what I have been involving in the past weeks and months.. while I wait in God.. Being involved in lives is something God has put in my heart to do and yet sometimes, it can be risky.. as I am exposing myself to be vulnerable.. To be involved in lives require myself to be as transparent and true as possible to others.. hmm.. yet, it is so rewarding to see lives being touched and encouraged.. I am so thankful that I am able to see that truth.. and to experience such blessings....

well..... some of the stuff that I was reflecting on that sunday were truly personal and life-changing thoughts.. it shall go to my little journal instead of here.. But, truly.. sitting there at the bench, observing people coming and going, reflecting and thinking was truly refreshing to my soul....... and I am really glad that I heeded His voice to go somewhere and spend time alone with Him on that sunday morning..... *grin*

when the oceans rise and thunders roar......

I will soar with God above the storm................

Just want to share this song here... eventhough it has been there for years now.. Hmm.. It just spoke of my heart at the current state... being still and know He is my God..... finding rest in Christ alone... what an assurance.. what love He pours into my life...

*feeling so warm and so loved*

Inspirations flooding in....

Hmm.. I wonder... am I getting more inspirations to scribble for the coming weeks? I just wonder.. Hmm.. well, I feel excited about things and yet at the same time, I want to walk closely with Him.. I desire to be in line with Him in all that I do..

Though at the moment I may not see it, I just have this tinkling feeling that many beautiful things would take place in the coming weeks...... It has begun.... and I know deep down that God would surprise me again and again.... yippee..... can't wait to be surprised by Him!.. *wink*

And, I thought the photo I have taken last Saturday was just appropriate for this post....... the pathway.. walking the pathway of life.. It is a journey.. and, as I walk this journey of life, I am experiencing many stuff... and God is walking with me..... teaching me to appreciate His people.. to appreciate His nature.. more and more.... how awesome could this get? no words to describe except to be awed by Him.......... *grin*

"Some time later the brook dried up......."

the title phrase was taken from 1 Kings 17:7... and the story of Elijah that I am going to scribble about here was taken from 1 Kings 17:1-16... and this was shared at my church in the UK (St John's) a week ago..... Below is the passage; New International Version...

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1 Kings 17:1 - 16

Elijah Fed by Ravens

1 Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."
2 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."
5 So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

The Widow at Zarephath

7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?"

11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

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The preacher emphasized "radical obedience"... looking at how Elijah stepping out in faith and in obedience.. and as Elijah did that, surprisingly, the brook dried up some time later which indicates that obedience could also bring us to a place of barrenness and of lack... It is not a sign or indication of disobedience.. Instead, it is in that place of waiting and of lack, God challenges the picture of us putting Him in the Box... It is in those times that we really see what is inside us and how much do we really trust Him....... I find this particularly interesting. Why so? well.. somehow, I felt that I am at that place of lack.. that place of waiting..... hmm..

So, why did God takes Elijah to that place of barrenness and of lack? looking at the passage above, we could see that God uses that and Elijah to bring about a miracle for Elijah.... On top of that, it is also to bring supernatural provision to a widow and her son.. In another words, bringing blessings to others. And the preacher shared that miracle happens when we run out of our own resources... and that the only people who get miracles are those who need them..... Much truth to chew on and yet, I just able to identify with them..

Finally, the preacher also stated that those waiting times are also birthing times... to birth desires within... It is when God wants to birth something deep inside....... Deep, huh? profound, most definitely..... And it excited me as I listened to the sermon that day...... It triggered much thoughts and I just want to run to God to talk to Him about them....... heeeeee...

Waiting is tough!..

oh yes, it is tough.. I have to be very honest about it.. What else could I scribble about it? It is really a matter of choosing how I look at it.. optimistically or pessimistically? I would love to be optimistic about it. However, I realize at this moment that I was trying very hard to be optimistic but somehow, my whole body language and behaviors do not project it..

Maybe I am trying too hard? Maybe I am relying on my own strength instead of God's? Oh bummer!.. Maybe that is why!..

How do I overcome this? It feels like time is running out.... and I am still stuck!.. bummer.. bummer... I wonder what God is saying in all this? What am I to learn from this? Why the wait? How long more to wait? What am I to do? and I could feel that things are falling apart.... or is it just my vivid imagination? is this the "evil" at work..? trying to make me think that things are falling apart? hmmmmmmmmm....

Actually, come to think of it, since my life was picked up by God from pieces and made whole two years ago; He knows what He is doing.. It doesn't really matter anymore.... if I am to wait, I would just wait.. and God never ever fail..... I shall just hold onto that promise and live!.. whether I get a job or not, He knows I need money to sustain and keep me going.. so, He will provide at the right time..

So, what's next? Next or rather what I would continue to do would be to just be as obedient as possible to hear His voice and follow Him.. Do what He impresses in my heart to do.. Be who He wants me to be.. Jobs are in His hands.. My life is in His hands!..

Again.. the phrase.. NO TURNING BACK... *wink*

"I know I can. I know I can... because of JESUS"

This just came so timely for me....... and I know the story of the Little Engine That Could.. I read it when I was a little girl..... awww... Anyway, just want to share the following devotion reading I received today...... It is another assurance from God to me at this juncture of my life...... Amazing God!.. :D Pray that you would be blessed as I have been blessed and even more as you read on............. *wink*

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Daily Manna
August 19, 2009

I Know I Can

By Cindy Hess Kasper

God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20

Remember the story of The Little Engine That Could? That determined little train climbed the steep hill by chanting positively, “I think I can. I think I can.” And then, as it gained more resolve, it declared, “I know I can. I know I can.”

No one would disagree that followers of Christ should think and live in a positive way. But do you ever find yourself depending too much on your own abilities rather than on the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit?

In John 15, Jesus explained our need for complete dependence on Him when He said, “He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (v.5). Paul reminded us that we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us]” (Phil. 4:13), that “the excellence of the power [is] of God and not of us” (2 Cor. 4:7), and that we are “strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man” (Eph. 3:16).

Because of God’s power, we can do whatever He asks of us—through Him. We can base our confidence not in our own abilities, but in God’s absolute promises.

So, today, with exceedingly more power than the little engine could ever muster, we can say, “I know I can. I know I can—because of Jesus.”

God gives to His servants this promise:

You’ll not have to face life alone;

And when you grow weak in your struggle,

His strength will prevail—not your own. —Hess

God’s requirements are met by God’s enabling.

Phil 4:12b-13
…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

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Missing my two little munchkins...

Out of no where, I am missing my two little munchkins... my nephew and niece (Josh and Tiff).. They must have grown more now.. since the last time I seen them..

Another step...

yes... received a call on Monday morning that I have been successful to proceed to 2nd stage interview in this company.. A step forward as I rest in the Lord and trust Him as I prepare for the interview.. It wasn't easy actually.. as waiting is tough.. sometimes, some moments, I get disillusioned.. I have to admit that.. It is the struggle of the flesh.. After I received the call, I felt happy.. till I cried!.. I guess some parts of me still couldn't believe that I would be called for 2nd interview.. I personally believe that this process of waiting and trusting God is very important.....

I am so thankful to Him who reveals step by step.. and God, in His own special ways, is touching my heart.... I remembered the prayer prayed by one of the lady prayer ministers at St John... I am really glad that I obeyed God's prompting to go in front for prayers.. It just felt so right....

I will try my very best to prepare the powerpoint for the presentation... and to practise presenting it... and trust that God will guide my every word and action during the presentation... His calmness and steadiness is with me.... His confidence, courage and creativity will be reflected in my presentation.. Pray for me ya, my dear readers.... thank you.....*wink*

God knows her heart..

Yes... Truly God knows my heart. He sent de one and only thing He knows would put a big big smile on my face and in my heart. A Tatty Teddy Bear! A big bear.. My most favourite bear.. Eventhough it is on loan for de coming two years, I just couldn't believe I have him on my bed in my comfy room.. I know I would get to own one of my very own one day.....

Even in this little matter, God took care of it..... and He gave lavishly.. I was praying for one.. but never thought that he would be such a huge one.. Somehow, this blessing confirms even more and deeper in my heart that God is taking care of other matters of my life; even more so the big matters!..... I am so comforted.. I really am..... *grin*

Inspiration.. I need some!..

Somehow today, I just longed for inspirations..... Why? Hmm.. not sure.. I guess I want to do something!.. ha.. something different... probably, I am just so poofed out after a day of looking at jobs websites..... Need inspiration to apply jobs differently!.. where do I get such inspirations from? *Ting!* *Bling* *bulb lightens!* who else but God?.... *smile*

And inspirations to scribble more here..... coz I notice that I have not been scribbling lots these days.... it is like, I have ran out of ideas to scribble... ooh... where has they gone to? under my bed? wait wait.... possibly I was too pre-occupied with the uncertainties of what is to come that I am zooked out of ideas...... Now, that is not good!.. So, time to buck up!... and be inspired!........ And it is a choice!.. constant choice.....

Anyway, looking forward to see some friends tonight..... C-group members...... and we are suppose to go for a historical walk round Harborne but then the weather doesn't seem to be too good.. will see what happens, I guess.... Oh!.. it is already wednesday now and I still haven't heard any news on the interview I went for a week ago!...... getting abit more nervy now..... Just being honest here....

oh...... how? how? *frantic anxious look* hmm...... keep cool and pray..... trust God and believe there is a reason for this wait..... But I need to get a job soooooon...... else I turn into couch potato!.. aiks... Ha!.. maybe that is why I am not scribbling that much these days...... well, I am just expressing myself in public!.. heeeee.. oops.... Just being me.... Just being real with the feelings that I have currently......

Well.. here goes......... be witty.. be brave... be real... be inspired!...... See.. I have said it!... and I feel so much better now..... I will be back! *wink*

Amazing God, He is...

Yes.. truly He is amazing!.. He never fails me.. I know He never will.... and I look forward to see what He has installed for me in the days to come. As I wait upon Him at this hour, He assured me over and over again in ways only He knows how that would touch my heart.... Just as the saying goes, "God is good, All the time"... and it is really true!.. He Is Good, All the Time.. and All the Time, God is Good!..

Have been thinking lots; reflecting lots too... I have all the time to do that at this juncture of my life.. Seeking the Lord's face.. Waiting on Him, trying my best to hear His voice and follow His guidance..

Even on the past Sunday, God has been speaking and assuring me through the two church services I went for.. one in the morning and one in the evening.. Hmm.. I think it would be interesting to just scribble down the few snippets of bible verses that stood out for me from the two sermons....

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 5:6

..... at just the right time........

Hosea 12:6

But you must return to your God;

maintain love and justice,

and wait for your God always.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will restore your fortunes. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

May His Word speak to us all even as we read and reflect on them...... and there was this one phrase that remains in my mind saying; "Lets not be satisfied with less than what He has for us". How profound that was!.. Well, I find it profound!.. coz many times, I always got myself stuck, thinking that I only deserve just a little without realising that God has more for me.. Not sure how the mentality of this came about but it is there.. But this time, I choose not to be stuck in such thoughts!.. Instead I am choosing to believe and trust God.. that He has the best for me.. far beyond my own imagination...... *grin*

May His Name be glorified in every way He sees fit........ in my life...... in my personal walk with Him.... in this exciting journey of life...... *wink*

A bit clearer?

Lots of things took place the past two to three weeks...... I moved!.. and am in my new place for about a week plus now... still adjusting to things.. and it is getting there....... many adjustments to be done...... hee.... different experiences ahead!..

And, I have two good news!.. I gotten back my passport on 22nd July with granted leave to remain and work in UK for the coming two years..... This happened just two days before I moved out from my old place.... Isn't God amazing? On top of that, just few hours later of the same day, I received a call to go for interview..... Everything on the same day... I don't think it is coincident but His divine provision and plan........ :) double yippee!..

Ya.... the interview is tomorrow on 5th August 2009 at 12 noon........ I am preparing as much as I could but then again, how much could I prepare? Hmm...... I will do my best and leave the rest to God... if this company is where I am suppose to be in the days to come, the door will remain open and I will go in..... I am praying..... I am resting in Him...... eventhough it could be quite a challenge sometimes because I am a natural worrier.. But you know what? God's assurance is always there..... and as always, He sent people to encourage me, to speak timely words into me..... I am so touched and blessed by His everlasting love.... Just awed by Him...

Funny enough or rather strange enough, I haven't applied any other jobs..... hmmmm... risky matter huh? really.. not sure why I didn't...... oh well, will take one step at a time... and keep looking to Him...... Humanly speaking, I think I am taking such a big risk..... and yet, I felt right..... hmm....... time will tell!.. :)

well..... here goes.. interview tomorrow........ *wink*...... Thank God for such opportunity!..... :D

What is next?

This question has been in my mind all the time.. and I wonder.. I think I could even have scribbled about this too.. Can't remember and I didn't check.. hehe.. Anyway, day passes by real fast and just boggles my mind how fast it is..... So, what have I been doing?

Still waiting.. for my visa.. and waiting for news of the job I applied to.. Wonder where will I be working? Would I be working permanently? or signing contracts? Hmm.. Really do not know what God has installed for me.. I think reality will set in even more once I get my two years visa.. For now, the feeling is like.. "hmm.. floating".. uncertainty.. sense of "not sure"..

It just confirms even more that waiting period is tough.. the sense of not working at the moment just doesn't seem to be acceptable.. and yet, rushing into doing something doesn't seem to be right too.. So, kinda irony feeling.. kinda strange.. what is God saying in all these? what important lessons I am to learn from all these? How should I response?

I have been thinking.. I have been asking.. and I remembered the story of Joseph.. I remembered the story of Esther.. I was reminded of the story of Daniel.... How would I go beyond my current state and push forward to the next level? What are the things that I am to do? and even today as I was travelling in the bus, I was in deep thoughts... about many things.. and I was observing people too.. People on the bus.. the way how they carry themselves.. I am experimenting too.. what are the things that create grounds for people to talk, to smile.. Just amazed to see things.. things that I would probably not able to see if I am not on the bus.. On the bus, we can see many different type of people from all sides.. all levels of society..

Would I dare? I desire much to do many things.. and yet sometimes, it takes courage to do them.. and yet it feels right.. Should I? Would I? I guess that is how God wires me to be.. to be creative in different aspects of life.. to be curious.. to be willing to try..

Oh.. the best part is God is with me all the time...... and I could just do anything.. or don't do anything..... :D of course, within His boundary...... heee........ loving life.. loving people....... aww..... just brilliant!.. *wink*

Nerve wrecking?

This feeling does come at times.. the nerve wrecking feeling.. it can be pretty annoying when it comes.. ooh.. How to deal with it? Hmm.. from my own experience, I would go to Abba Father and surrender them to Him.. but of course, there are times that I didn't do that allow it to "conquer" for many moments and I was shattered after that!.. sigh.. But I am learning from experiences not to allow it to bother me.. not allow myself to wallow in it and be shattered!.. Sometimes, I succeed.. Sometimes, I didn't.. but guess that is pretty normal because, after all, I am still human!.. and not perfect..

But basically.. it is alot to do with choices.. my choices.. coz as the feelings come which they will come, it is actually my choice how it is going to affect me.. Sound easy? Hmm.. it can be if only we don't complicate it!.. hehe.. I try looking at it as simple as I could.. and to make deliberate choices.. and trusting that God is always there to prompt me.. to remind me.. Being me, there are times, I didn't hear it.. didn't catch it.. and then I fell.. a little.. and.. oops.. well, nevermind, I could get up again!.. That is the beauty of God's grace and mercy.. *grin*

Guess.. that's life.. hor? with its ups and downs.... with its excitements and pitfall experiences... but the most important key is to stay close with God.. walk close with God.. others may fall and tumble, others may fail and disappoint.. all else may fail but God will never!.. and I am holding this KEY super closely to my heart.... and I pray that all my family, friends and loved ones would do so as well...... what treasure it is.... *wink*

Where to go? What to do?...

I have so many questions in my little brain... and I always seem to be having lots of questions!.. That is normal.. Haha.. ya, it is so true.. I am always asking questions.... It is just so ME!..

and the past couple of weeks, I am just being so.. unsure of stuff and yet at the back of my mind, I know God is with me and He is always with me at all times.. no matter what.. That is the assurance that He has given me in my little heart.. *grin*..

I guess because of that, I am just not motivated to scribble.. sorry guys.. just too many things on my plate currently.. actually, not really many things.. but rather, a few BIG things.. it is just so terrifying sometimes if I were to decide on the spot for all of them.. well, it can be rather overwhelming.. The feeling is super real.. and I believe it is good to acknowledge it and face it on the front instead of sweeping it under the carpet and let it rot.. Things that go rotting overtime would not be good at all..

Well...... I really thank God that for accommodation wise, it has been decided and I have a peace of mind.. Now, the tougher part of the hunt is here.. JOB HUNT.. perhaps, it may not be that tough and yet, why am I having thoughts that it is tougher.. hmm.. what are the fears looming around in this particular hunt that are haunting me, crippling me? I know there are a few... and I just need to take deep breaths, pray, trust God and take one step at a time..... and be overcomer!.. Phew.. where to begin?

Here goes nothing.. and here I am..... as Zechariah 4:6 says.. "not by might nor by power, but by God's Spirit.".. To walk the path set by God.. I am praying that I am walking in His path, to turn if I need to turn.. to walk in His pace.. to be faithful in the little things.. to love people because God loves us so much.. ya.. that is what I have been doing and continue to do.. that is where I have been heading and continue on..... *wink*