Change of direction for intercession...

This morning, these thoughts just came.. and I just scribbled away.. oh! how exciting! and there are pictures too!.. oh my!.. Firstly, the verse... Hebrews 11:30..

"By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days."

Secondly, the visual bits... and picture speaks it all.. even with no words.. *grin*

The words that God gave me this morning was SPEED... What does S.P.E.E.D stands for? and what to do with it? Just felt the need to intercede and well.. be like the Israelites when they marched around the wall for seven days..... And to intercede that walls would be..

• Smash to smithereens
• Pull out (roots of anything that is not honouring God)
• Explode (outer walls)
• Even out
• Demolish (inner walls)

and all these to be done in LOVE, compassion and GRACE.... hmmm... Am really thankful to Him who provides.. who knows our hearts... who hears our prayers and cries.... And there are so much hope!.. yay! I am so happy.. the sensing of being free to obey.... to carry out lovely things!

"Daddy, You said I am the key... and therefore, pretty please use me to open as many doors as You like, Lord......so that more and more would be free and free to live for You!" *wink* yipeeeeeeeeeeee.. 

Time to move....

yup!... time to move.... and the moving day is 23rd April 2011.... to a pink & purple room.. a bigger space.. new environment.. new people to adapt to... and a baby to play with.. *grin*

I am proud of......

my growing plant..... His name is Mr Encouragement-Sunshine..... He is growing well.... and I hope and pray that he will grow to full term!.. and smile at me! yippppeeee......... can't wait for that!

Love it!

Just simply love it when have the opportunity to meet people of the kindred spirit... That's what I felt when I went for the 1st interview at Agape today.. I thoroughly enjoyed myself in the interview (Big thanks to those who are praying for me)... It feels like home.. kinda strange and yet that was what I felt... It just feels that this is it!.. But is it? 

"Daddy in Heaven, is it? Is this where I would be hanging out in the coming days? Are these people the people I would be mixing with? Can this be true? I just feel that this job is too good to be true! hmm.. "

Well.. there is another period of waiting for 2nd interview which should be either on 14th or 15th April 2011..  a technical interview.. and I have to do a presentation.. hmm. that'd be challenging!..  need to pray even more! and there are homework to do.. to read up on charity organisation and its way of financial accounts.. Please please pray for me, ya..... hehehe...... *grin*

But whatever it may be; whether this job is mine to keep.. I am already blessed in today's interview.... Just awesome and amazing to be able to share what is in my heart and share about my passion!.. woohooo...... simply love it... love the way how the interview had gone...... *wink*

*yawn*

it is 930pm.. and I am already feeling sleepy.. with my eyes becoming straight line! *girn* And it has been such for the past weeks.. aww.. wonder why? well, my mind couldn't think at this moment of time.. Time to SLEEP!! yay........ 

At the foot of the Cross..

At the foot of the cross, 

where I kneel in adoration 

And I lay my burdens down 

I exchange all my sin 

for the promise of salvation 

And Your name across my brow 

At the foot of the cross, 

I give up my vain ambition 

And I leave my selfish pride 

In the peace that is there, 

will You restore my vision? 

In all the places I am blind 

I will wait here at the cross 

I will wait here at the cross 

I will wait here at the cross 

I will wait here at the cross 

At the foot of the cross 

there is healing for this nation 

There is rest for those who wait 

And the love that we find 

is the hope of all creation 

We are stunned by what You gave 

We will wait here at the cross 

We will wait here at the cross 

We will wait here at the cross 

We will wait here at the cross 

We will wait at the cross, 

a hungry generation 

With our broken hearts and lives 

Will You hear? Will You come? 

Will You fill our desperation? 

Oh God let this be the time 

(by Tre Sheppard)

Growing... Part One

Last Saturday at the 6th session of Growing Leaders, think God was really speaking deep and more in my heart about  various aspects of developing someone.. Especially using the whole analogy of planting seeds.. I remembered that when I saw this pot with soil and seeds in a plastic bag on the bed during the residential weekend away in February; I was wondering and asking God, "hmm.. what are You saying with all these, O Lord?"

Why is this significant? there is a story behind that which I would continue in my next post... 

A decision to stop facebook for 14 days..

yup.. decided not to be on facebook for 14 days.. and who knows, it could be longer than that.. 40 days till Easter? will see.. :)

Counting... 14 days..

yes!.. I am counting.. in 14 days time would be my 1st part of interview with Agape.. it would be a personal interview... thereafter, there would be the 2nd part of interview which would be in another day.. and it would be a technical one..

Preparing myself.. and I think it is not a coincident that I received the email about it on Ash Wednesday (the beginning of Lent)... there is significance? Praying and seeking the Lord... So exciting!

Feeling safe..

just so comforting to be feeling safe in His arms.. even after being wrongly accused.. What the Lord is saying is more important than what men say.. And I do wonder why last night's incident came up again? hmm.. I am praying for His guidance as to how to respond.. what to do with it.. Should I just leave it? or bring it to a different perspective.. What is the Lord saying? Seeking Him for clarity.. hee..

God is so good.. He knows that I was feeling disappointed with last night's incident and He gave me so many good and rejoicing news this morning to show me that these news far out-weigh the disappointment.. giving me the sense of assurance that I have been doing the right things all along.. and I should faithfully continue to do them, regardless of the 'putting down' attitude of someone whom I do respect. It is sad that it happened but yet, I guess I am not answerable for other's actions other than my own. And my heart desire is to honor the good Lord with all the little that I have and trust that He will multiply them in His own time and space.. touching lives, more lives.. transforming them.. setting them free and free..

And I also remembered something about serving in "behind-the-scene" ministry.. that because of the nature of it, alot of times, my actions would be misunderstood.. In order to keep the confidentiality of what others have shared, I am to keep quiet.. pray.. and continue to trust that God is in control. And speak when I do need to speak.. Being at peace in God is way much better than being at peace with men.. but of course, there is the longing of being understood by men too coz I am still very human.. and I know He knows my desires and longings.. and He has already filling them up.. granting them in His time!.. yay.. Thank You O Lord.

Season of Lent 2011...

This is my aim and desire.. to keep a Holy Lent.. Seeking His Face.. :) and even before anything else, something negative already taken place. hmm.. Am I being tested? hmmm.. Lord, have mercy on me. 

Dancing with My Heavenly Daddy.. :D

yay.. continue to dance with Him.. that was what was prayed for me recently.. and I chuckled when I listened to that.. so sweet that He wants to dance with me.. and wants to dance with me abit more before releasing me to the next phase of life..... He loves me so much!.. aww.. 

A piece of the puzzle.. :D

Could I do this?

oooooooooh.. I don't think I could possibly do it on my own..

O LOrd.. please teach me to respond in Your ways and not my own...

Is it time?

this is another question that I have among the many.... There seems to be open door.. yet, is it time to do so? Lord, Please let me hear what You are saying.. When? where? so many questions.. but I know the good Lord will grant me clarity of mind.. Thank You O Lord..

I stand in awe...

This song just touched my heart.. and I guess because of the recent development, I am standing in awe of Him... Though things are still very much in its preliminary stage, I am just amazed... No matter what the outcome may be, I just want the will of God to be done.. and I know with God, nothing is impossible! as I was reminded of it today in church.. Please pray as I seek Him.. and as I explore more.. as I dwell in His presence.. in His Love...  *grin*

2011 is here to stay for another 364 days..

in a blink of an eye, 2010 has left us and 2011 has arrived and going to stay for 364 days... I had started this new year with low tune.. partly because I was not that well and needed much rest and I guess, 2nd partly because I do like a quiet entry of the new year.. It gives me the sense of awe.. the space to reflect upon Him my Almighty God.. to pray and to give thanks to Him.. And He gave me a dear sweet friend to share this experience with.. to pray together.. to praise God together.. and to hope together..

I finally found that I am that sentimental! well, not found, more of came to a much clearer realisation.. and it just confirmed further in me that this is the made of God in me.. which I treasure and appreciate even more now as I reflect and ponder. I suppose when this realisation is clearer, I am able to be myself even more; able to embrace who I am made to be more.. to live life as God leads me to.. not be afraid but able to live it to the fullest and with courage that is from Him alone.. *grin and wink*

May everyone be filled with much joy and hope in the Lord as we journey on in the year 2011..

Snowman family... :)

that Sarah & I built... on Christmas day.. this is something that I have always wanted to do and it is accomplished!.. yippppee.. :)

Blessings from dad & mom.. :)

recently, received an email from dad & mom.. They sent me a link with such a powerful and beautiful blessings and I know it is from their hearts.... I feel so blessed and so touched.. *grin* and I would like to share this with everyone here who read my scribblings.. :)

ThisBlessingIsForYou

this is funny.. just some humor..

that I received from a friend........ something light and yet it could happen to anyone!.. so, hmm.. a thought? :D

one by one...

seeing the pictures and statuses of friends on facebook today... especially from back home.. indeed, one by one.. got married.. have kids.. have another kid.. and here I am, wonder.. of course, I wonder.. and yet deep down know that God has great surprises & plans for me and I am waiting with lots of hope in and upon Him.. In the meantime, enjoying what I have and given.. :)

the recent postponement of my paris trip allowed me to see something amazing.. allow me to see the way I responded.. not in an irrational way but in a calm and sensible way... and I like that alot.. and would like to see that more and more.. no matter what is thrown at me, I would respond in a calm and peaceful way with a deep trust that God has another plan for me.. and make the best out of it!.. which is where the birth of christmas dinner comes along for Sarah & I.. and going for midnight communion... etc etc.. I do like this way of responding.. and God is teaching me how..... *wink*

And seeing the pictures and statuses of friends who got married; have kids & more kids.. and who are getting engaged; getting married... feeling so happy for every one of them and praying for them as they embark on their new journeys.. wish I could be there for them physically but I am here in the UK for this season of my life..

and this song I learnt recently in Carols choir just stick in my head which I think would be appriopriate here as well.. :D enjoy!... as we reflect upon Him.. and be reminded how much He loves us all!.. :)

"I Wonder As I Wander"

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die

For poor on'ry people like you and like I;

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

When Mary birthed Jesus 'twas in a cow's stall

With wise men and farmers and shepherds and all

But high from God's heaven, a star's light did fall

And the promise of ages it then did recall.

If Jesus had wanted for any wee thing

A star in the sky or a bird on the wing

Or all of God's Angels in heaven to sing

He surely could have it, 'cause he was the King

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die

For poor on'ry people like you and like I;

I wonder as I wander out under the sky

Just don't feel like doing anything..

usually when I am in this state of "just don't feel like doing anything".. I begin to realise is when I am thinking.. or figuring something out.. well, it is more like trying to figure something out. Unfortunately, most times to no avail.. yet, I would find myself in that mode again and again.. When will I learn to go to God immediately instead of wallowing myself in this mode for hours?

Another reminder!. another lesson to be learnt.. Well, time to zzz.. and be refreshed for what is ahead tomorrow.. 

This is who I need...

a man who is like Caleb in the Old Testament.. 

who is of "different spirit" (Numbers 14:24).. 

and who has courage all the way.. (Joshua 14: 6- 15).... 

*grin*

am waiting in anticipation and rested in Daddy's arms.. :)

Is it worth it?

just pondering about "Love".. observing and reflecting of how people response about this in their lives.. thinking of my own response in the past and even now.. and I am reminded of God's love that is full and complete.. where human's love is not; even though we try to and many times, we try very hard to.

So, is it worth to love? It is nice to be loved, of course. Everyone wants that. But the question is; is it worth to love especially with the knowledge that we may not even be loved back, sometimes. The risk is there. So, is it worth it? In my own logical mind trying to understand the implication of things, it seems a rather complicated matter to decide. Yet, when I look to Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross because He loves us unconditionally; it just blows me away. His response clearly shows that it is worth it! and it is the same kind of love that we are to extend to others too.. Obviously God has set a high standard.. and it is only by His Grace that we are able to love.. drawing strength and love from Him to love and be loved too.

Think, probably today is the start of me winding down for the year 2010.. and to reflect of what I have done in the past months and praying into the coming months and year.. The many "what-ifs" that I have to lay down at the foot of the cross and trust that God will resurrect them if it is His Will... the many joys of witnessing lives being touched, encouraged and lifted up.. the many tears of disappointment and joy that are being sent up to Heaven... buckets, perhaps! yet, the peace of God settles.. and settling even more these days; regardless of what is ahead... Sometimes, I just do not understand but just telling God that all I want is to be in His House.. to be rested in Him.. The sky may fall; the walls may crumble.. it doesn't matter so as long as I remain in Him. Remaining in Him gives me the assurance that I am protected and hence, I am able to extend His Love to those who needs it. 

Indeed the Truth in His Word does set us free! May we truly know it in our heart of hearts.. May we truly experience it deep in our lives.. 

Well.. as I look forward to the weekend away with my C-group.. I know God will show up with His surprises in His Time.... *grin*

Reconciliation...

This thought has been in my mind for a long long time.. and I just sense that it is there for a reason.. sometimes, I wish I know how to go about it.. yet, the deep sense of assurance from God is to pray.. to intercede whenever this thoughts come. It is not so much about what I could do but more of praying and interceding.. 

I am scribbling this; not so much referring to personal relationships and friendships.. there is a time for that in a separate setting. but I am referring more about reconciliation between countries and races, even.

Being in the UK for two years now, I notice there is this unspoken segregation and it is true even in the church context too. Hmm.. I wonder, is it suppose to be there? Why is it there in the first place? Because of the past history? Because of generation soul ties and hurt due to war and desire to conquer? Also, why do people decide to live in another country and yet be in their own close knit community?

What is Jesus saying in all these things? Why is my heart being stirred about these thoughts? It is challenging and there is the cry for reconciliation.. where does it come from? What could I do? or should I even do anything? 

Father, show me.. grant me wisdom to pray and intercede.. and to response as how Jesus would response.. 

Snowflake moment..

As I was waiting for the bus, looking at my phone.. then, a snowflake landed on my mobile screen.. and for just a second, I was able to see the beauty of a snowflake!.. the intricate design.. Who came out with such details? Truly amazing! Truly beautiful.. 

I know Who is the maker.. do you? 

Just think.. Someone who is able to design such beauty is the Same Creator who design you and me.. such focus and with so much care, love and passion! I just love to be blessed with such profound truth of life.. It does give me much joy and excitement and in fact, passion too!

Walking in the cold could be a life-changing moment too; if only we take time to ponder upon God.. everything made by God is for a reason.. and for this reason, I want to praise Him even more! *wink*

Where has the time gone to?

This is one question I have been asking myself.. Things are just quite crazy with so many things going on.. perhaps that is why time has gone by that quick before my eyes.. and in two days time, it is Dec 2010! goodness me.. and it marks my 3rd winter in the UK.. and winter has been ever so fascinating with the rapid change of weather.. rather bizarre phenomenon; looking at how the weather changes.. experiencing it to the core.. Though it may be cold but I do like it when there is sunshine in winter.. somehow, it gives me the sense of awe.. the beauty of creation.. 

Today is special.. coz today, God opened an opportunity for me to approach a topic that has been in my mind and yet, I didn't know what to do other than just commit to the Lord and pray. It just fell in the right place very rightly.. the flow of the conversation was rather amazing that I could only whisper (I wanted to shout! but I was on the phone) "Thank You Lord!" One step taken and more time to spend in praying.. and waiting with anticipation for the next step.. *grin*

The same time next year.. I wonder.. I just wonder where would I be? *wink*

Think I like this too!.. :)

Just a pic of me!.. LOL..

*grin*

Fear! & Unbelief...

Being a participant of this course called "Freedom course" in church.. the recent session which was yesterday evening.. we looked at the whole area of fear and unbelief.. and interestingly, the word 'disappointment' was mentioned! hmm.. I do wonder.. what is God saying to me here.. with all these various things.. I knew deep down that there are stuff still lingering around to be dealt with.. and it is comforting to know that the Good Lord reveals to me in His Time and in His most gentlest way.. helping me to walk through and overcome whatever that are there..

In that sense, I know that it wasn't by accident that recently, I have all these weird feelings of sudden fears.. and a sense of hopelessness.. perhaps indeed it is time to face things in this level and to be an overcomer in Christ! It is scary to face the fears.. but I am not alone!.. God has surrounded me with His army!.. *grin*

Thankfulness..

That is the word that kept popping in my head these days.. Thankfulness! :)

Being thankful is a choice!.. well, think lots of things in life are linked with choices.. and choosing to be thankful is one of them.. Being thankful in the midst of uncertainty or trouble.. being thankful in the midst of confusion.. or even being thankful in the midst of nothingness or fullness! 

Just amazing how the Lord reveals various things through various situations in the past few weeks and months.. Amazing because I never thought they would happen and they did! And most times, it came when I least expected them. How bizarre that could be.. Or probably that is how the Lord reveals.. The way how He opens doors; the way how He guides me.. etc etc.. and also the way how He touches my heart and heals it when He sees there is a need to do that. Oooh.. I feel so loved loved! *grin*

Loving God always know what is best to keep me on fire! excited about things ahead! What more could I ask for? What else do I need? I have all that I need in Him.. It is truly comforting and assuring to be where I am now.. in His Love and Embrace.. even when I haven't figured out what I am going to do or where I would be! Kinda crazy to be scribbling this way and yet, this is where I am.. and I am happy and thankful!

It is just that simple! or is it? I think it is when we become used to choosing to be thankful in spite of conditions or situations.. Loving life as it is.. loving people as they are.. *wink*

3 months of no-update!

oops.. haven't been updating for 3 months.. why? why? hmm.. not sure but I am coming back!.. hehe.. Hope to scribble more.. 

too many things had happened the past months.. all good stuff! where some are least expected... Never thought I would be doing them..... Amazing God always surprise me! *wink*

only time will tell...

in all the decisions I have made and going to make.. *wink*

something to think about..

I think I have changed so much.. I have learnt to take risks in God.. 

even when it is very scary to do that.. Definitely no turning back! *wink*

Dare we?

"Dream things with God

that are doomed to failure

unless He shows up"

(Pete Hughes)

Moments like this..

As usual, God always bring the right people to come and speak into me at the least expected time and that happened last night.. and it is in moments like this that I am truly and wonderfully touched by Him and His Love. Not that I am not touched in other times, but just that these moments are special.. the connections seem stronger and stronger.. His Love just overwhelms me from head to toes. How amazing is that! I smiled.. I am thankful.

I am just enjoying being at peace in God.. being carefree with no worries and no anxieties.. in the midst of gazillion uncertainties in my life.. How odd? How would I be at peace in God if there are so much uncertainties? Good news is that it is possible!.. once I let go and let God take over my life.. and it is a constant choice; learning more and more to trust Him each day.. making decisions as they come along.. regardless big or small.. as long as I choose to walk close with Him.. the rest is His-Story... *wink*

Life..

is just way too short to be entangled in disagreements and get stuck there.. 

use a different route.. 

either talk it out.. if that doesn't work..
OR..
well, perhaps it is right to move on after trying... 

how much is too much and too little? hmm..
pray and be at peace in Him.. 

for, He knows the best! *wink*

hey! I know this but then it becomes even clearer today! 

Amazing how revelation can just come.. :)

How?

the question that I have in mind is..

"How do I enter 
after exited for 
3 years?"

wow.. 3 years.. yup... well, it will be 2 years and 10 months to be more precise by next July. I think I am thinking too much of the future this few days.. but it does allow me to make the best of the present day.. hmm.. at least, I hope to and pray to.. *grin*

Disillusioned?

hmm.. am I in that state at the moment? or I choose to be there for a while? Amazing what situations; people and words could do to us.. or even lack of them.. Funny it is. So strange that I could actually find it funny!.. hmm.. maybe I am not that indulged then.. or I have grown a little more mature than before.. Now, that's nice to discover! :)

Probably that is why I have to let go.. Just seems the right thing to do at the moment; regardless of whether I would be able to live up to it after that. Slowly and surely, I would be able to; in God's arms.. Though I am in my  30's, I feel like I am 3 years old in God's care.. so many messing ups.. so many silly things I have done and would probably continue to do..

Now, I am really disillusioned! (in a good way, I hope).. me a 3 year old kid? LOL.. in many ways, I am.. hehe.. so many things to learn from God.. where to begin? I like to take a peek here.. and another peek there.. and currently, reading this book below..... exploring possibilities... hmm.. do I still sound like a 3 year old kid? no wonder I am confused!.. LOL..

the recent experience would be a classic story for Practical Theology in Action.. well, here I go; indulging myself in reading whole day since I am not working today.. *wink*

Where should I go next?

WHERE??????

clueless... don't know..

the older I get, the more unsure I become.. I wonder am I alone in this? but, the interesting thing is the more unsure I become, the more I grow to trust Heavenly Daddy..

so, it is a good thing then? Looks like it.. hehe..

oh ya.. I was singing aloud this evening.. creating my own songs.. singing my heart out... in my own tune.. random.. most definitely*wink*

Proverbs 6: 6 - 8 says...

Go to the ant, you sluggard!
Consider her ways and be wise,
Which, having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
Provides her supplies in the summer,

And gathers her food in the harvest.

****

sluggard? hmm.. means an idler.. I always do admire how ants work.. :)

Something I can't multi-task..

It just dawned on me tonight that I can multi-task in many things but something I can't multi-task is feelings.. especially awful feelings.. does this make sense? hmm.. maybe only to me. LOL.. 

feelings is an odd thing.. or is not? emotions.. sea of emotions, some people call it.. Let me visualise how it would be like.. swimming in the sea of emotions.. whoa... tricky?

well.. leaving that thought here as I go to zzzz... *grin*

Bold step to take..

or stupid one? ish.. don't know.. but it is definitely a less travelled road.. and I always ended up taking that.. I really do wonder.. why do I get myself into such situations all the time.. probably that is just the unique me! Am I consoling myself? LOL.. maybe maybe.. and the funny thing is that it seems rather natural that it is concluded in that way even when I seek God about things.. as I seek His face..

I wonder.. do wonder what my life would be like five years down the road.. at the rate I am going.. the crazy things that I do.. and the unthinkable decisions I take.. yet, I am happy wor.. hmm.. most importantly is that God knows my heart and desires.. and in His Time, the right door will be opened! I am praying that I would have His faith to walk in.. especially when fears are looming strongly.. 

Pray for me, pls.. *wink*

Is it? I think so.. hmm..

Cut and paste from two daily devotionals I received today.. how true this is, in many sense!.. Indeed it is much easier to do something than to trust in God. And, all of us go through the breaking process.. to know that God is the source of our worth.. Just got reminded of that again very recently.. how forgetful we are.. at least, I know I am.. always need to be reminded.. and God knows me very well.. hee.. *wink*

*****

The Staggering Question

By Oswald Chambers

He said to me, ’Son of man, can these bones live?’

Ezekiel 37:3

Can a sinner be turned into a saint? Can a twisted life be made right? There is only one appropriate answer— “O Lord God, You know” ( Ezekiel 37:3  ). Never forge ahead with your religious common sense and say, “Oh, yes, with just a little more Bible reading, devotional time, and prayer, I see how it can be done.”

It is much easier to do something than to trust in God; we see the activity and mistake panic for inspiration. That is why we see so few fellow workers with God, yet so many people working for God. We would much rather work for God than believe in Him. Do I really believe that God will do in me what I cannot do? The degree of hopelessness I have for others comes from never realizing that God has done anything for me. Is my own personal experience such a wonderful realization of God’s power and might that I can never have a sense of hopelessness for anyone else I see? Has any spiritual work been accomplished in me at all? The degree of panic activity in my life is equal to the degree of my lack of personal spiritual experience.

“Behold, O My people, I will open your graves . . .” ( Ezekiel 37:12 ). When God wants to show you what human nature is like separated from Himself, He shows it to you in yourself. If the Spirit of God has ever given you a vision of what you are apart from the grace of God (and He will only do this when His Spirit is at work in you), then you know that in reality there is no criminal half as bad as you yourself could be without His grace. My “grave” has been opened by God and “I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells” ( Romans 7:18  ). God’s Spirit continually reveals to His children what human nature is like apart from His grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

*****

The Breaking Process

Your kingdom come. Your will be done...

Matthew 6:10 NKJV

In the breaking process God's intention is not to destroy your will, but redirect it; not to rob you of self-worth, but to let you see that He is the source of your worth. Gideon's three hundred soldiers had to break their pitchers, which made them vulnerable to attack, before the light within them could shine out and the enemy be defeated (Judges 7). Elisha had to break his plough, which represented his financial security, before he could qualify for a double portion of God's Spirit (1 Kings 19:19-21). Mary had to break her alabaster box, which represented her dowry and hope for marriage, in order to receive Christ's highest commendation (Mark 14:3-9). 

Brokenness is costly; it happens in stages. 

Stage 1: Repentance. After his affair with Bathsheba David prayed, 'The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit… ' (Psalm 51:17 NLT). 

Stage 2: Discipline. '… I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified' (1 Corinthians 9:27 NKJV). 

Stage 3: Intimacy. You love prayer and God's Word because you 'connect' with Him through them. But you'll have to fight the distractions around you to get to the place of intimacy, and fight the carnality within you to stay there.

The real issue in brokenness is submitting to God's control. 

Dick Rasanen writes: 'Dear God, I find it so easy to try to be the one in charge. I find it so painful to realize that I am not the one in control. Help me to know when saying 'I just work here' it's a confession, and not just a way of evading responsibility.'

*****

Teary..

emo.. emo.. today!.. becoming emo elmo.. probably having withdrawal symptoms! it is a process.. have to be brave n strong in God to go through it.. learn and come back stronger!

As someone told me today, time will tell... so, give it some time.. therefore, I just have to let go and let God.. He knows the best! *wink*

Moving on...

yup.. moving on.. looking forward to what is ahead.. wonder what God has installed for me.. continue to wait and pray..

letting go is good for everyone even though it is tough to do so and takes lots of courage.. especially when there are so much attachment and love.. never thought I would be this attached but I am.. sigh.. However, looking at the brighter side of thing is I have given my all to love, care and serve.. 

Again, Romans 8:28 came to mind.. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

here I go... moving moving on.... *wink*

I am comforted..

by who? yes.. GOD.. :)..

Let Him Comfort You

The God of all comfort, who comforts us

2 Corinthians 1:3

God can make you comfortable in the most uncomfortable places. He can pull you out of situations you thought you'd be stuck in forever. He can give you peace, even in the midst of trauma. Before your life is over, you'll live, love and experience loss. Losing some things will actually help you to appreciate the things you still have. It's the taste of failure that makes success so sweet. How can you celebrate victory unless you've known defeat? You'll live each day not knowing what tomorrow holds, but knowing that God holds all your tomorrows. They're not in the hands of your boss, your broker, your mate, or anybody else. Nor are they in your hands to manipulate and control. No, all your tomorrows are in God's hands! So whatever you do; get to know Him, because you'll need Him. And He'll be there for you. He'll be there when everybody and everything else has gone. He'll be there for you in the dark places. His promise to you is, '… Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning' (Psalm 30:5 Amp). However long the night, morning always comes and with it His joy. Just think, no matter how dark the night, you've always lived to see the morning. Right? Somehow His grace has protected you, provided for you, secured you, calmed and comforted you, and brought you through. Times and seasons change, but not God. He's always '… The God of all comfort… ' and He's watching over you today!

Peacemaker...

Today's reading is about peacemaking.. don't think it was coincidental.. Peacemaking is God's way (Matt 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.").. So, we, too should strive to be peacemakers by carefully and prayerfully trying to resolve conflicts without force.

The above in green was what written in today's reading.. and another part that spoke to me was "The next time you are involved in a disagreement, look for things on which you both can agree. Work from there toward a solution that is mutually beneficial and pleasing to God. Be a peacemaker."

hmm.. as I took my troubles to the Lord, I cried out to Him, and He answered my prayer. (Psalm 120:1) This is what I feel at the moment.. He answered my prayer by allowing me to read this reading.. *wink*