A tiny sense of loss and yet much release...

Well, that was what I felt during CG last night.. when CG members surrounded me in prayers.. their prayers, in their each unique ways have released me from cell leadership as last night marked the last meeting of me being a CGL... Interestingly, I do feel the sense of loss... what they called in cantonese.. "hm-sei-tak".. and yet looking forward for what is ahead of me.. new adventure and new season of life.. another chapter to be written..

I wonder what Jesus would say to me with regards to this length of time being a CGL.. have I done well? Mmm.. I recognise that there are many rooms for improvements... after all, that was the very first time being a cell leader.. it is like, I am a new rookie!.. hehehe.. My deepest desire has always been that, at least one life has been touched, stirred.. moved towards the heart of God and will continue this such exciting journey in God.. of course, more is better.. but at least one.. and I know God has so graciously allowed me to see more than one even at this hour.. and I believe there are more to come.. Just like trees, it takes time to see the fruits.. *smiling in anticipation*... the joy of sowing!.. hmm.. maybe I should pick up the art of gardening!.. hahahaha.. mmm.....

Mm.. looking forward now to Li Ping & Chun Yew's wedding this coming 08-08-08... It would be a fun time, I believe.. with all the cell members.. Lets see what we are going to do...

Approval....???

Is approval that important? Mm.. I have this question that was thrown back to me as I was just doing work and also receiving emails yesterday.. What is "approval"? Let me check online dictionary for its definition.. Hehe.. there I go again with my "analytical" sense.. and then I shall scribble on about this "word"... Kinda fun, ya.. to scribble about a word.. and to see where I am going to end at the end of a scribbling-post.. That is what they call, creativity.. hehehe.. *ahem*...

One of the definitions of "approval"... according to Free Online Dictionary is "acceptance as satisfactory".. Mmm.. basically, it is acceptance.. and we are all made to want to be accepted.. Mm.. is that true? or is it just me thinking that it is true? Mm.. Did bible talk about this? or.. the other word to put it, is "in favor"... I remember something now.. about, eh.. er.. yes.. Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. (Luke 2:52) .. How did that took place? What are the processes behind? coz I am thinking, you can't just be in favor with God and men just like that.. right? Lets ponder further.. Mmm.. questions, questions...

How to be like Jesus? How do we grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men? Mm.. the one phrase that I have is to walk in obedience to the Lord God Almighty.. To break that down into little parts of understanding.. what are the very first things that we could do in walking in obedience to Him..? hehe.. the very one thing that I could think of is to spend time with Him, to read His Word, to pray.. ya.. the very normal stuff of christian living.. and yet, alot of times, I took it for granted.. Today is a good reminder to me, to go back to the basic again and again.. How we all need this!

Yup.. lets all go back to the basic!... and be faithful in them... and then, the approval will come.. favor will come... the law of sowing and reaping.. *grinning*..

Pocket time...

Just somehow felt led to scribble about this phrase "Pocket-Time".. What is this pocket-time? hehe.. this is my version of explaining what this pocket-time means to me as I think further and deeper.. This phrase is related to "Spending Time". After so many years, it just dawned unto me the importance of spending time, especially with loved ones, close ones.. and even strangers that God divinely brings cross my path... And I also realise that it doesn't necessary mean spending long hours but just those important "pocket" of time and opportunity... So, in that sense, it is really not about the quantity but the effort and the condition of heart, my response.. the initiation of heart.. Mmm.. how true that is.. Indeed! Coz people could pick it up quite instantly..

Truly thankful to God for opening my eyes to see this golden truth of life.. out the many more to come.. He has so much installed for us to learn.. and that is why people say, it is a lifelong learning and learning... We never stop learning..

Well, am looking forward to yet another pocket-time with my dad in August.. when he comes back for a few days.. I pray and hope that the best would be made out of the time that we are going to have. Even true with mom.. yup.. this coming Saturday would be an interesting one, I believe and pray and hope.. *closing eyes....* *wink*...

In fact, now.. looking forward to be home to spend some great pocket-time with my little nephew and niece... (Scribbler scribbles her last line for the day as she shuts her pc.. )

"Studies" Adventure...

hehehe.. this thought came to me when I was busy sending out smses to friends about the change of my handphone number.. I like the topic above... for it is truly going to be an adventure to go to a new place and do a new thing!.. Yes, an adventure indeed!... aha.. this will stick with me for a while.. *grinning*

Wonder how things would really be like in the United Kingdom? How would it be like to be a university student? Mm.. Is it the same as college student? Mmm.. what would I be doing? Where would I be going? Who would I be meeting? My my.. so many things that I am wondering... well, that is why it is called "adventure"... with challenges ahead.. Mmm.. with the Lord's guidance, I know I am in good hands.. *smiling*

Obedience.. walking in obedience to the Lord's ways and that is what I desire to do and pray to do.. It won't be easy and yet I know deep down Heavenly Father is watching out for me... as I take on this new adventure.. probably be knocking myself with some bruises.. but they are fun bruises of trying new things.. hehehehe... I suddenly feel the liberty.. well.. it is like, the world is before me.. and I could do many things, try out things that I have never dared to try before.. the Lord's ways is my limit.. and as I choose to walk in His ways, I know I would hear His voice just like the sheep hears the shepherd's voice..

Blossoming.. Blooming... mmmm..... how interesting.... *grinning*...

(Scribbler just loves to scribble away her thoughts and aspirations....)

Does it matter anymore?

Mm.. strange enough.. this phrase stood out among the many thoughts that I have.. What is the "it"? *chuckle*.. I am clueless.. and yet, there is the sense of knowing.. mm.. you know, there are just those times where you would rather not know the details.. I am kinda like that, I guess, at times..

Well, if it doesn't matter anymore, I'd rather not know then.. Not to say that I choose to live in denial.. but if the knowledge of knowing something do not really benefit anyone, why talk about it then? so, does it matter? Mm..

(Scribbler suddenly lost the feel of what to scribble on.. hehe.. maybe it is time for her to end this scribbling as it is then.....)

Turning Moments...

Somehow, today, felt led to scribble about turning moments.. what are turning moments? It could be from a very small turn to huge turn in life.. what are small turns? and what are huge turns? Actually, this rather subjective to define.. so, I would say that it is subject to individual..

For me, small turns are decisions that I have to decide daily.. example, which road to take to go home, what time to leave home, who I am to meet, etc etc... Huge turns would be for example, where I am going to work, who I am going for courtship with, which state/country I will be in for season of time, etc etc... Actually, ha.. as I scribble, I wonder am I scribbling in line with the topic? hehehe.. Guess, so as long it makes sense to me, the scribbler, it should be fine... but hopefully, it does bring some light to scribbler's readers..

Well.. I am feeling that I am at this juncture of my life where a huge turn has begun and is taking place the very minute I am scribbling. Somehow, the feeling that I have is that it makes me feel kinda twiggy.. and kinda ecstatic.. and deeply down my soul, I know there is no turning back.. mmm.... *grinning*.. that's me, just love to be mysterious about it.. giving it this touch of thrill. Why so? Mm.. Perhaps that is how I am wired by God from the beginning.. I am just touching base with the gifts that God has given me..

I can even visualise it as I scribble on.. visualise myself turning literally so to speak (whether it is my heart or soul, I have no idea... maybe both?) and know what? I really pray and hope that this turning is in line with God's given direction and enables me to excel in His ways and purpose for this one life He has given me.. I guess, I would only know after I journey for a while and pondering a little.. Whatever it may be.. God is Almighty and He knows the very heart of ours.. of mine.. coz He created us.. He created me just as who I am.. *aweeeed*...

Much to do.. and yet...

Now with my travel documents secured and in hand, it just dawned to me that there are much to do.. things to settle.. Mm.. honestly, it can be kinda overwhelming but the good Lord reminded me to take one step at a time.. to attempt each task as it comes about.. Good way of releasing the overwhelming feeling.. "Thank You Lord for Your timely reminder. I needed that."

New move in life always coupled with uncertainties ahead.. and uncertainties are just the thing that well, uncertain... and I guess it is how I choose to see it.. whether as something to be excited about or something to fear.. The feelings are real and the choice to decide which is it is also in my hands as I want to be obedient to the Lord. The tendancy to sway to the not so good is there and yet there is hope! Jesus is my hope!.. And I can take risks in life because I have Jesus in my life.. as I choose to obey His prompting and guiding.. Do I really know? Know what? Know which risks to take? mmm... The Lord's timing of revelation is in His hands and not in mine.. So, why do I need to bother with things that are not mine to take care of? that would be overloading myself.. God has given me sufficient things to take care of in life and I shall just faithfully do those He has entrusted me and trust that He would handle the bigger stuff for me..

Even as I scribble on about this, I could feel the invisible n yet heavy burden released from my shoulders.. how ignorant we can all be, thinking that we are to carry so many things where in fact, we are only to carry this tiny little bundle.. and the rest has been taken care of by Our Lord Jesus Christ.. Like one of my friends say, "doink!"... hehehe..

All of us need reminders about truths in life.. because we tend to forget them too quickly at times or at most times.. Isn't that strange? but yet it is very true.. well, at least I find it true for myself..

"O Lord, have mercy upon me for being so ignorant.... Please forgive me for my distrust and unbelief and help me with them... I acknowledge that they are so real and only You can help me to get rid of them. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen"

(scribbler got to end scribblings to get ready for the day of work ahead of her....)

This is my near future destination....

by the Grace of God....

Take a guess of which country this is........ hehehehe........ Today, I just got my awaited visa to spend some good months in this new destination.. new place with new experiences... What is installed for me in the days to come? mm.. well.. only the Lord knows and for Him to reveal to me in His time.... I am taking baby steps.. as I trod in this exciting journey of life..

That is why-lar.. Scribbler hasn't been scribbling for the past days.. was in the waiting mode.. waiting in anticipation and the day has arrived for me to start scribbling once again.... *grinning*

Serenity Prayer...

I found this on YouTube... and it truly ministered to me as I read and listen to the music... So, just wanna share this with everyone... :D

The Serenity Prayer - Enya (May it Be)

Haven't had the time to scribble more the past few days..... Got some urgent stuff need to tackle.. Hope to scribble more about my recent trip soon.. with photos and all.. Perhaps this weekend, I will do it as I rest in God's presence.. Hehe.. looking forward to quiet moments with Sweet Jesus every moment I can.. How precious these moments are...

Enjoy the video as I have enjoyed it so much personally.....

(Scribbler just love to share things that touched her heart....)

A broken spirit......

*****
A broken spirit

And a contrite heart

You will not despise
You will not despise
You desire truth
In the inward parts
A broken spirit
And a contrite heart.

Lord, my heart
is prone to wander
Prone to leave
the God I love
Here's my heart
Lord, take and
seal it
Seal it for
Your courts above.

*****

Somehow, this morning as I was reflecting while reading the daily devotion.. the phrase broken spirit, contrite heart just lingered in my little mind.. and the above song just came so naturally to my lips.. Truly true.. the title of the devotion was "broken to be mended".. and it talks about humility to the core of it all...... mmm..... lets ponder as we listen to the song....

Blessed n Touched...

The title described my feelings of my stay in Singapore.. God showed me overflowing love, kindness, joy, peace and so much more during my stay in Singapore through friends that He has blessed me with.. *Scribbler grinning from left to right..*

It has been a trip that is out of this world.. and because of that, I knew deep down that the Lord is with me, encouraging me.. loving me, blessing me.. Not that I needed these to tell me of God's Love for me.. I know of His Love for me.. but this trip further re-affirms His Love for me.. Just amazingly true and awesome..

Well... more to come as I scribble on.. and photos to come as I do the adding of pictures.. in my next scribbling... hehehe.... Now, it is back to work, with a sense of satisfaction and gladness after a wonderful and awesome time of four days... "God is definitely Good! and He loves me!"

"Oh yes!"....

Apples and Wine....

What is this apples and wine?? hehehe.. received an email from Lina today and I really like the way how it was worded.. so decided to just have a post about it.. with pictures and a little scribbling on my end.. *smile*

Apples on trees as well as on the ground.....

Lovely apple.... :D

Grapes that turns to wine..... what is this?? read on...

I really like this write-up.. We, women are like apples on trees.. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree...

And Men... Men are like fine wine.. They begin as grapes, and...... how does grapes turn to wine?? hehehehe..... take a wild guess... *grinning*...

A Twist of the matter.. good twist.. *wink*

Mm.. I am actually reflecting as I scribble the above title.. Many things have taken place the past week, especially with the Nights of Fire in church... I was tremendously blessed and lifted up the past three days.. In many ways, God answered my prayers which I cried out to Him during the lowest tide of my life..

Even as I was preparing to go to Singapore, I thank God for the three wonderful nights.. Though I would miss the remaining nights, I know those first three nights were really special especially the third night.... With little sleep and yet I feel refreshed and lifted.. The feeling of encountering God is just something which words could not expressed.. Just have to experience it yourself.. The touch and the embrace of His..

God has deposited so much more and confirmed something real deep in my heart.. and I know I can step out in faith to take the next step.. I pray that I would not run ahead of Him but to run with Jesus and with Jesus being my yoke mate.. He is taking the lead... O.. How awesome this truth is.. and yet, how easily we could forget it.. God is reminding me again about this!.. Holy Spirit is my organiser and reminders.. *grinning*.. Isn't it nice to have a personal organiser and reminder...? I love it!

Mm.. for the coming few days, I know I am going to enjoy myself, spending time with friends as well as having some solitude time on my own.. This would be a trip to be remembered.. hehe.. with my camera ready.. with my eagerness as well as excitement to see things from a different perspective..

So, what is the twist? hehe... that is for me to know and for you to ponder about..... *wink*

My Countdown...

Days... yippee....

Mm.. haven't been scribbling lots the past few days.. well, in a limbo state with mix emotions, both excitement as well as concerns... Also, been feeling very sleepy every night when I came home from work.. why such exhaustion? I also wondering to myself and yet & still, life moves on, regardless.. "time waits for no one"... as the saying goes.. Am I truly making life count? Doing the littliest I could possible do.. Is that what I am to do? Mm.. *scribbler scratching her head as her little mind starts to roll and roll..*

Just recently watched Kungfu Panda with mom with the tickets blessed by one of my CG members.. so sweet of her. Enjoyed the movie lots as it was pretty entertaining and also believed that God has timely used the movie to speak about yesterday, tomorrow and today.......

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

Somehow, this stayed and lingered in my mind for two days now.. mm.... Guess this is how God sometimes speaks to me.. guiding me to reflect further and to discover the deeper truth He desires me to grasp and apply in life..

Why scribble about these things when my header is titled "Countdown"...? I am clueless and yet, I am definitely doing the countdown..

With this, I bid all good night as I definitely need to have my beauty sleep.. *wink*

Fruitful Sunday with stacking of boxes...

hehe... and it felt good to clean up and to organise stuff to order.. And I just thought it would be excellently cool if I could search for some nice stack up-ed boxes images from the net to enhance imagination.. Thanks to the people who allow me to use their images... :D

This ones are the colorful ones.. making life very interesting too..

These are the normal type of boxes.... and my goodness, just imagine room filled with boxes, ready to be filled.. Lets go abit further, imagining boxes that are alive.. and being so excited to be filled with stuff, good stuff... like books, christian materials, toys, bags, etc.. etc... I think if I am a box, I would be happy especially being used for a greater use..

Mm.. Even as I scribble on, an idea is cooking.. and isn't it interesting to know that our life is such too.. that we are like boxes and God is filling us in with stuff.. good stuff... Mm.. I like that! and I wonder what is God putting into me next.. It is exciting to know that He has a greater plan for me and for you too.. *wink*

Well... that was my last Sunday spent... truly a fruitful and satisfying time, being home and organizing stuff in the room.. I have a little more to go and I am done.. So proud of myself... hehehe..... and on top of that, able to bless Jumbo Station with stuff that I no longer need... So cool...... *scribbler imagining that she is skipping round the room..*

My next destination.... Yippee...

Hehe.. yup.. here I come.. countdown.. 10 days....... Night safari, here I come.. *grinning*

Excellent Food.....

Last night, had an excellent food time with Lina.. at Euro Deli in Damansara Kim.. hehehe.. for the fact that she was there so much earlier than me showed that she is really excited about eating there *wink*.. hehe.. but, honestly, the food is really great! Too bad we didn't snap any pictures though.. No camera..

"Aiya, Lina, we should have, eh? the next round, we should do that, ya?.. before I leave......"

And, just too bad that Ms Ti and Mr Lee (some common friends of ours) weren't able to join us.. but we really so called "dig in".. and personally, I was feeling real satisfied with the food.. maybe more of the Potato Roesti (half plate not enough for me) and that would have been perfect!

"Lina, the next round, I want whole plate of Potato Roesti to myself... hahahaha.. and we share the soup, main dish, and dessert...." *gluttony look*

And I just found out seconds ago that they have a website.. here you are.. http://www.eurodeli.com.my/home.html Check it out.... most definitely must try kind!.. maybe I am biased coz I just love this sort of food..... hehehe....

So contented that when I reached home, I took a nap.. a long one before the actual sleeping.. this is called crazyness but kinda cool thing to do once in a while, I guess... *cheeky wink*

Excitement Looming all over... *beaming*

Why? O why? Well, looking forward with anticipation of my up and coming overseas trip.. yup, over the sea.. guess where I am going.. I am sure it could be easily guessed.. Singapore!

Why Singapore? especially now with the high exchange rate, it is just plain expensive to go there and yet I am going and coming. Simple reason, got friends there and would want to spend some valuable time with them. And, also with the hope of doing some worthwhile shopping there since it is mega sale time. I just can't wait to go and snap many photos of many things.. and see many other stuff.. Can't wait for this new experience in Singapore with different set of friends.

I always kinda like Singapore for its proper structure and efficient way of doing things.. They say working there is kinda madness due to the "kiasu-ness" spirit.. mm.. but then again, the more important element is where God wants me and you to be... if that is where He wants me and you to be, environment that may seem and appear to be difficult would be made smooth and there will be favor.. I really do believe that as I see it happened in my own life too.. Doing the Father's Will in my life.. and last night, in CG, we spoke about "serious obedience".. tough thing to do and yet it is for our own good. I love how Pr Mike put it, "if have intimate relationship with Jesus, then, we would want to imitate Him and do the Father's Will.... and obedience would come naturally as well.."

Now, how come I ended up scribbling about this.. hehe.. suppose to be scribbling of my excitement.. well, I think I tend to like to sidetrack a little to scribble a little of truth of life.. and that itself brings excitement too..

Glimpses from afar of the near future..

The title suits my current feelings and yet it doesn't explain everything.. that is a mystery touch of it, I guess. Why mystery? Mm.. it gives me some excitement to be able to scribble in this way.. hehehe.. so, please entertainment me just this time..

The past few days were just amazing, so amazing and so "crazy" that I didn't blog.. too many things to handle and to juggle with, I guess. But it was a rather interesting process that I am going through and a rather intriguing discovery that I observe and think about.

Wow.. today, I am full of mystery.. hehehe... well, soon, it will be revealed but not yet.. In the meantime, well, I am in the midst of pondering upon another moment.. to add to my "moments" collection.. Life is full of moments after moments.. all sorts of moments.. and that makes life interesting and fun.. Oh yes!..

My personal Yoke-Mate....

Today, I want to introduce my yoke-mate.. and He is Jesus.. He is my yoke-mate.. With this, I wanna cut and paste from this devotion I read two days ago.. I find it to be powerful and the truth just sort of like.. boggles my mind.. hehehe..

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Daily Manna

May 26, 2008

UNDER THE SAME YOKE

By Neil Anderson

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light. ~ Matthew 11:28-30

Matthew 11:28-30 contains a beautiful description of the purpose and pace of the Spirit-filled walk. Jesus invites you to a restful walk in tandem with Him, just as two oxen walk together under the same yoke. "How can a yoke be restful?" you ask. Because Jesus' yoke is an easy yoke. As the lead ox, Jesus walks at a steady pace. If you pace yourself with Him, your burden will be easy. But if you take a passive approach to the relationship, you'll be painfully dragged along in the yoke because Jesus keeps walking. Or if you try to race ahead or turn off in another direction, the yoke will chafe your neck and your life will be uncomfortable. The key to a restful yoke-relationship with Jesus is to learn from Him and open yourself to His gentleness and humility.

The picture of walking in the Spirit in tandem with Jesus also helps us understand our service to God. How much will you get done without Jesus pulling on His side of the yoke? Nothing. And how much will be accomplished without you on your side? Nothing. A yoke can only work if both are pulling together.

Paul said, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth" (1 Corinthians 3:6). You and I have the privilege to plant and water, but if God isn't in it, nothing will grow. However, if we don't plant and water, nothing will grow. God has chosen to work through the church, in partnership with you, to do His work in the world today. He's the lead ox. Let's learn from Him.

Suggested Prayer:
Dear Jesus, I want You to be my yoke-mate today. Keep me from going ahead or lagging behind. I want to walk step-by-step with You.

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Isn't this beautiful? to me, it is.... Jesus is my yoke-mate... I am imagining it in my head... such beautiful picture... and so light is the yoke because Lord Jesus is there and I am not alone... I hope to be able to walk step-by-step with Him.... with His help and guidance... *wink*...