You appear when I am weary..

The Lord knows... He knows me so well.. and he gave me the right words and assurance that I need most at the right time too!.. when I am feeling BLUE.. when I am feeling weary... He reminds me that He does remember me.. I was never forgotten..

Father, You know my hopes and dreams.. I talk about them so much.... yet, I am skeptical.. Help me in my skeptism and doubts.. please.. so that I could overcome and rejoice in You!.. and hope in You for what is to come.. and that I am not afraid to expect You to keep Your promise.. Thank You God.. :)


December 18, 2012
Being an Overcomer
By Os Hillman

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Ps 13:1-2

Have you ever heard someone jokingly say, "It's not easy being me?" This expression is poking fun at their unique personality or challenges they face in life. Well, it wasn't easy being King David.

 

His life was a life of extreme highs and extreme lows. He was a shepherd, a political leader, a builder, a prophet, a businessman, a warrior, a lover, a giver, a murderer and a worshiper. He must have been criticized by others as being hypocritical in his early career. In each of these roles he achieved things for God but he also failed God on many occasions. He had a creative-type personality, which is often very passionate with many mood swings. We see this side of him when he unabashedly danced before the Lord in front of his subjects almost naked (2 Sam 6:14).

 

When David wrote his psalms he was honest about what he was feeling. When he feared his enemies he expressed it. When he could not understand why God was silent, he expressed it as in the psalm above.

 

However, David never stayed in the place of despair. He often ended his psalms like this one. "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me" (Ps 13:5-6).

 

David chooses to focus on what God has done for him, not what He has not done. If you are waiting for a breakthrough with God, be honest with Him about your hopes and dreams. However, also affirm your faith and trust in Him to accomplish His purposes through your life. Be an overcomer.

Watch and Pray..

Watch Unto Prayer

Watch and pray, that you don't enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." - Matthew 26:41

We must learn both to watch and pray. It is good to watch. There is danger everywhere. An army in an enemy's country never rests a moment without its encircling line of pickets, keeping watch against danger at every point, and reporting instantly any hostile movement. We are living in the enemy's country, and cannot safely pass an hour without watching. But watching is not enough; for we are not able to keep ourselves when the danger comes. Hence we need also to pray asking God to keep us. But as watching without praying is not enough, neither is praying without watching. God means us to use our eyes and to keep our wits about us, as well as to cry to Him for help

We must not say that every one who makes a good profession, and then fails, is insincere or a hypocrite. Peter was neither when he made his bold avowal that he would never deny Christ, and that he could die with Him. He loved Christ, and meant to be true to Him. Peter's spirit was eager and earnest, but he was weak in himself; and because he relied only on himself, he was not able to hold out against the sore temptations which came upon him.

We are all just like Peter. If we are true Christians we mean to be faithful to our Lord. But sincerity is not enough. “The flesh is weak,” and we need to rest continually upon God for help to be true and faithful. If young Christians would learn this lesson they would not fall so easily. If the drunkard who resolves to reform learned it, he would be safer and stronger. No matter how good his intentions are, he is not able of himself to fulfil them. None of us are as good as we want to be and strive to be; and only through the mighty help of Christ can any of us live a true and noble life amid all the world's temptations and dangers.

Volitional..

We are volitional being.. we have the freedom to choose.. and because we are given the freedom to choose, there is also that sense of releasing others into that freedom.. 

One thing I am still learning very much is that no matter what choices we made or going to make, we are responsible for our choices. I need to remember this and not be terribly saddened by the "bad" choices that people make in their lives.. they are responsible for their choices. I guess, sometimes, the only way to learn is to experience the "bad" choices and learn from it. Maybe that is required in order to be understood.. 

Here, this is a timely reminder that I am not anyone's saviour or protector.. but I am a child of God who is learning to love the people my Big God loves.. even if it means so heart-aching to love.. His grace is sufficient for me.. 

Well.. one or/and more "not so good" experiences will not stop me from continue to press on in Him.. Be smart next time to trust God in trusting His people.. then He is my shield.. *wink*

Clock ticking..

It is just so easy to be entangled with the future of what is to come and forget to live the now.. And the clock is ticking.. 

I wonder about so many things and I wonder about the wonders that God has put in my life too.. His Love that wraps around me.. protects me.. comforts me.. assures me.. even when there are shattered dreams.. even when everything stand still.. His Love rises above all else and He loves me!

Letters being handed in today.. which makes it official now.. How did I feel? I felt torn of what I am going to leave.. I felt excited too of what is to come.. I guess, it is a decision that I have made; like with many other decisions.. there are always the other side of the coin.. It is hard.. It is mind blowing to my little brainy..

Will I regret it? I wonder.. and I think of the untraveled road.. I guess I will never know what it will be like if I stay on.. Yet, it feels really right to go home.. and I want to be there, be home.. be with my closest ones.. even if it means just for few months.. And, trusting God for what He has installed for me in the days to come. Trusting Him for the impossible.. 

Yes, that settles it.. in my heart. To live the now to the fullest with such bursting hope of the future in Him! *smile* 

A glimpse..

It was kinda nice to catch a glimpse.. of what is to come and it isn't really about where I would be in the coming days.. It is about where the Lord wants me to be..

I am excited to be part of Agape at this season of my life..
whether it is for a longer term or not,
I know He will tell me in due time.. :)
I am praying and waiting..
but I am very encouraged by this little card
that I received in the staff retreat..
The BIG dream of a day when everyone
knows someone who truly follows Jesus.

It is a BIG dream and only the Great Lord knows
and sees what it will be like..
I am just playing a little part in this big PICTURE of God's plan..
Thank You Father for giving me this opportunity
to be part of this at this time and this season..
The Heartbeat crucial position, I might say.

what a risky business..

I know I shouldn't be but I am amazed. Life is a risky business.. and that includes everything, really. And sometimes, it hits you before you actually recognize it. Guess that is what Risk is all about.

But, the beauty for me is that it is worth taking any sort of risk if these risks are taken in God and in accordance to His guidance and love. As risks are taken in Him, He will give me the Grace to face all things. Father God knows and He will bless! :)

A Smurfy 5th year, perhaps!

perhaps, indeed! :)

5th year in the UK..

I just can't believe it.. but it is my 5th year in the UK..

and I think this 5th year is a special one in the Lord! :)

Philippians 4:6

the dear Lord knows and He gives.. He is so wonderful! :)

and indeed.. 

I am learning doubly more this season to not worry about anything;

instead pray about everything.

Tell God what I need and give thanks for all that He has done.. 

and indeed I have experienced His Peace

which exceeds anything I can understand this very morning! (5th Sept)

and continue to experience His Peace in the days to come!.. *grin*

Looking forward to the staff retreat to meet everyone.. 

Fresh Start?

January 2013 for a Fresh Start? Exciting!

I am looking forward to that.. :)

oh boy!

I didn't realise but think I have accidentally deleted all my images on my blog of the past years! I am not sure how I would have done it.. but well.... looks like I have to start again! maybe, there are reasons for this..

Just felt the overwhelming feelings of getting a place.. and yet, the excitement.. Father, please guide me... guide us in our search! You know how it is with me, Lord.. 

oops...

Feeling a little under the weather.. I do hope I am not catching any bugs..

Father, I need to be well.. Please let me be well.. thank you.

This may be it or not?

Could they be my reason for me to decide?

I do miss them.

I do miss the many moments as they grow up..

Aww.. this is tough.. hmm..

Father, I need Your help here, pls..

Is it true?

I have been thinking.. 

this would be sweeeet..

ha.. emo!

but sweet kind of emo, really.. 

God is funny!

Why do I say that? coz He always humors me.. I read the devotion below today and found myself chuckling away.. *grin*

I was reflecting upon things.. words that people have said.. Things seem like clicking correctly in my little head.. things appear to be making sense for the first time.. and it gave me more space to wonder about things.. but it is rather humorous..  If only I could help to connect the dots.. maybe, someday, I would have the opportunity to do so..

Well, my spirit is up today.. it looks like it.... so, happy bunny I am!.. :)

When I Want to be Mean          By Lysa TerKeurst

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

I looked at the text message in complete disbelief. Why couldn't this person see how insensitive and hurtful they were being?

I don't know who made up the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can't ever hurt me." Either they had nerves of steel or they lived on a deserted island with no other people. Because not only do words hurt me, but they make me want to fight back and be mean, too.

Have you ever had a little situation with someone where you just knew you were right and they were wrong? Or at least you could make a really good case for your side of things?

Oh how I have this burning need to state my case in these kinds of situations. It's like an inner attorney rises up desperate to defend my rights and get the other person to see things my way. This is pretty normal, right?

Yes. But normal doesn't always mean good. Especially in light of today's key verse.

Colossians 2:6-7 reminds me, "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (NIV 1984)

I should live rooted in Jesus' teaching and overflow with thankfulness. The opposite of this is when I'm rooted in self-centered opinions and overflowing with grumbling. I need to let God show me how to see things from this other person's side and gain a different perspective. In doing so, I will be strengthened and taught.

Colossians 3:12-14 reminds me, "... as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (NIV 1984)

My job isn't to fix this person or make them see my side of things. My job is to obey God by offering an extension of the forgiveness I've been given. But I can also stay healthy in this situation by remembering forgiveness doesn't mean giving this person access in my life that sets me up for destructive patterns.

Finally, Colossians 3:17 reminds me, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (NIV 1984)

Everything I do and say tells a story of who I serve. If I act out of anger and spite, I give in to the ways of the enemy, spreading his darkness. If I honor the Lord with my actions, I serve to further the Name of Jesus and spread His light.

At the end of the day, honoring God leads to good things. Anything else leads to confusion, emotional exhaustion and a lack of good things.

I processed the text message mentioned above with my husband. He said something that brought much clarity. "Lysa, you know when you've taken the high road, God blesses you. You've seen these blessings over and over as you've made choices that honor God. So chose a blessing today and save yourself the emotional turmoil of trying to prove you're right."

He's a smart man.

I know this isn't easy stuff. I'm having to live it in the midst of feeling hurt. But I'm also feeling more at peace being able to see another perspective—a healthier perspective—a biblical perspective. And I'm really excited about the blessings that are surely coming my way.

Suggested Prayer:
Dear Lord, You know the hurtful words and actions that have been pummeled my way. Please give me Your strength to not retaliate, but instead to react based on Your Truth. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

---

James 1:19-20

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

I will be MAC'ed!

yup!.. in the process of getting a Mac!

Exciting!

Energized!

It's great to be energized!

Now, things to be rectified.. I am praying for grace.

God does humor me with people and situations.. I am amazed with the way how things are.. and they appear to be. As I start to read more counselling related books, I am thinking more too.. observing my own actions, words and many others.

Go by the unforced rhythms of Grace. *wink*

Studying time!

I got news that I have been granted a place to do the Christian Counselling course at CWR. Yay! I am really excited about it and looking forward to what I would be learning this coming academic year.

A Snapshot!

and this is the link.. 

http://mystory.jesus.net/story/vivien-keu/ 

My Testimony

I wrote my testimony today using a different tool, a rather cool tool...

Here it is...
http://mystory.jesus.net/story/vivien-keu/

Enjoy and be encouraged! :-)  I am scribbling from Tallinn, Estonia! :-)

Wearing a mask..

It must have been hard to be wearing mask everyday.. but yet, that is what everyone is doing.. wearing mask as they face people.. sometimes or even, alot of times, many layers of masks.. Yet, arguably, people claim that they can't lie & they are good, etc and hence, that means they are not wearing masks? Is that true? I think, the mask can come in many forms.. or they are created due to many reasons.. Some are being put on by ourselves.. Yet, many aren't. They are put on because of our upbringing and our experiences in lives.

Father, this country really does need your touch in the lives of the people.. The agony.. the pain.. so many things taking place behind every door of household.. broken households.. In fact, dear Lord, the whole world need You.. I really just dare not read what are there in the news.. the things and situations.. I feel really burdened and weary.. Father, what is it that You would want me to do with all these feelings and thoughts? All I know is to pray and intercede.. They are overwhelming feelings, Lord..

Dear dear Lord.. Please show me how to pray.. how to pray into situations.. how to walk in Your Spirit and speak forth Your Truth.. Lord, use me please.. and even for Estonia.. while I am there, please send the people that You want me to meet and be friends with.. where we could share of your Good News. Lord, please grant me Your boldness and courage to do what I am called to do. And, Lord, could you send me one or two new people who can speak depth into my life too and vice versa.. That would be a real treat for me.. *grin* Thank You Lord..

The deep peaceful inner strength from You is what I long to have at all times.. no matter how bad the storms are; when I have that peace from You, Lord, I could pray and I could overcome. And it is with this, Father, I am able to see through the masks of the people and see where they are at.. Father, it is a scary business yet if this is what You want me to do and pray, please grant me the supernatural energy and creativity to do so.. And Lord, please deal with whatever masks that I could be wearing too.. thank You! :)

expectations & disappointments

I wonder.. maybe I shouldn't even expect.. but yet, I did.. and when I did, disappointment comes when the expectation wasn't met. How sad this is. I am saddened. Maybe I shouldn't care anymore. But yet, I couldn't. What an irony knot I am in!

Can I just....

?

That nagging feeling just lingers..

Lord, can I just let go?

will it come back to haunt me later for letting go?

I have so many questions, Lord. As usual, I guess.

At this spur moment, this phrase came to mind.

"God loves us because He is good and not because we are good"

Father, I haven't been good, have I? all look messed up! like this..

but You can untangle the mess.. :)

Thank You.

That's me at this hour!

this is a nicer way to say "Please go away!"...

Should I print this and put it outside my room door?

And I wonder, why no news from CWR.. sigh.. in God's timing, eh.. 

shall wait patiently then.. 

beautiful!

I love stationery! Maybe my next job would be to work in a stationery shop.. :)

God Loves me! :)

at the turn of moment.. I read this daily devotion.. and so comforted by Him who loves me so much!.. :)

In Good Hands
    By Holy Land Moments

“He said, ‘Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?’ declares the Lord. ‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel’.” Jeremiah 18:6

Many of the messages given to Jeremiah came in the form of metaphors. For example, in the beginning of chapter 18, God tells Jeremiah to go to a potter’s home. There, Jeremiah watches how the potter works with the clay at his wheel. As the potter is forming a pot, he notices that the pot is not looking like he wants it to. So he destroys the one he is working with and creates a new pot.

As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, and with this imagery fresh in his mind, Jeremiah is able to understand what God means when He says, “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.”

The imagery of clay in the hands of a potter is so powerful that it has become part of the liturgy of Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement – along with similar metaphors, such as silver in the hands of a silver smith and glass in the hands of the glass blower. In all of the imagery, we see a substance, malleable and fragile, in the hands of its maker.

On the one hand, it is terrifying to realize how vulnerable we really are. Our Creator can build us up, or destroy us. Anything can change on a dime. But on the other hand, it is comforting to know that if we are at the mercy of someone’s hands, it is none other than the hands of God.

Sometimes the potter does have to destroy his pot. But he only does so in order to make it new again — and better. Through this object lesson, God is telling Jeremiah that although the Jewish people are about to go into a horrible exile, and even though many will be slaughtered and the Temple destroyed, it’s all for the purpose of rebuilding!

Jeremiah needed to know and understand that the destruction he was predicting was not the end of the story. It is the beginning of a new one. With that understanding, Jeremiah would be able to rebuke the people, but also comfort them once his dire predictions came true.

There are times in our lives when we feel nothing less than shattered, like a broken piece of pottery. Where is our Maker? How will we become whole again? We must remember the image of the potter from the book of Jeremiah. Sometimes, the Almighty will bring us down. But never forget, friends, that it is only in order to build us up once more – better, wiser, and definitely stronger.

No matter what shape we are at the moment, we are always in good hands!

the good Lord is so good, isn't He? *grin* 
So, maybe destruction needs to take place so that He could make me whole again.. 
better, wiser and stronger!
Such hope it is to know that I am in His good hands! :)

Going downhill?

The feeling is such but yet, somewhere deep inside is saying "NO!".. oh! but I definitely am in the stage where I am pulling my hair!!! am I carrying all these feelings for other people? the feelings are rather overwhelming.. very different from before.. very new, in fact.. maybe that is why I feel much more uncomfortable about them.. I need wisdom from the Lord to discern this..

Oh! I need to get away from people! Not that I hate them or anything.. (I could have been misunderstood by lots.. I think coz of the "anti-social" attitude I have at the moment) I feel I need to do that so that I can be clear that these feelings are not from me! and if it is from me, I would be able to discern what is going on..

Can I hide in a cave, like now, Lord? Please help! 0.o and Lord, please touch my brother's heart.. especially during this time of pain in his body.. Father, You know him.. and You can turn things around for Your good! I am claiming Romans 8:28 for my brother and his household.. Thank You Lord.

Father, You said You are taking care of my family while I am here in the UK.. I am holding You to Your words, Lord. :)

Major Procrastinator!

That's me!

when comes to things which I do not wish to do! 

bleh! :(

probably, this is something which I have to learn from Jesus.. 

to learn how to respond rightly.. and not procrastinate..

Please help me, Lord Jesus. Thank You. :)

Cosmic Justice! :)

how timely the below daily devotion came today.. when I was pondering about some things in life.. the Lord knows and He provides.. aww.. I am so touched and strengthened! He is Awesome! *grin*


July 13, 2012


The Venue of Cosmic Justice
          By Greg Laurie


For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.2 Corinthians 4:17–18

We all know that life isn’t fair, that it is filled with inequities and injustices. Sure, there are times when good is rewarded and bad is punished. But far too often, it is the very opposite of that. We see good people suffer and see evil people succeed.

But while it is true that life is not fair, it is also true that God is good. He is righteous and holy, and He loves all of us. And one day in eternity, God will right all wrongs. All of those unanswered questions will be dealt with. The unfair things in life will be solved. Pain will be replaced by comfort. Tears will be replaced by joy and laughter. Heaven is where losses are more than compensated for.

Knowing this gives us a better perspective on the struggles of life. We are reminded by the apostle Paul, “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever” (2 Corinthians 4:17–18).

God has other times and places where our dreams and our hopes can be realized. We see things in a certain way here on earth. But that can change overnight. That can change in a nanosecond when we enter into eternity.

As Dinesh D’Souza said, “Heaven is the venue of cosmic justice. This is where the faithful servants of the Lord who came in last receive their due prize and reward.”

It is all going to be sorted out on the other side.

Summary sentence: Justice will prevail on the other side!

Job 34:12

It is unthinkable that God would do wrong, that the Almighty would pervert justice.

Deuteronomy 32:4

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

No Regrets..

As I saw some pictures this morning on Facebook, they brought back memories to me about the many guy friends I have known.. some closer than others.. and some with interesting stories about them. I just felt excited that what I sensed many years ago was true and it is affirming. The Lord has His ways of showing me things about people and the potentials in them. I thank God for them and am really excited to be getting glimpses of these in His mercy.

Father, You know what runs through my mind as I close my eyes.. You know and I know that it is in Your ways, You will bring things to past.. for Your Glory and extension of Your Kingdom. Thank You Father.. Thank You dear Lord for Your sweet revelations and affirmations.

And I am really glad.. I am not sure why I scribbled that; but I am truly glad at this moment of time that I am where I am.. with no regrets of the past but with much hope in Jesus of the future. 

On a separate note, I am excited to hear of a wedding coming up in November!.. I am praying for both of them.. I am not sure how near the bride-to-be is to know Lord Jesus but I have been praying that she will make that choice in her life because she wants to. Maybe she has made that choice. The Lord knows! :)

Saw the Queen of United Kingdom!

the excitement of the day!.. I saw the Queen today!

She looks really good! Amazing! 

Two graduates.. :)

yes.. two have graduated yesterday! Another one this evening.. :)

Praying that as they enter the "working world", they will continue to walk closely with the Lord in all that they do!.. Exciting journey!.. and I am excited for them! :)

Memoir...

Not sure why but today is just one of those days that I think about all those sweet memories that I have the past few years.. of the girls and boys that I met in Birmingham.. especially the ones that I have gotten to know really well.. seeing them grow.. laughing and crying with them.. and seeing them graduated.. saying goodbyes at the airport.. Oh my!.. 

Yet, they are special.. and will always be in my heart. The joy of being part of their lives.. of experiencing life in lives..

Father, as I think of them, You know who they are and where they are at this hour.. especially in their walk with You.. Father, please continue to work in their lives.. be with them especially if they are facing difficult times.. Touch their hearts.. in ways that only You know how, Lord.. 

I do long for many moments and opportunities in the days to come where I could hear news about them.. of what the Lord has been doing in their lives.. Thank You Father.. 

that time of the year..

yup!.. another round of graduations.. how interesting that I am involved in this; especially I thought I won't be.. the good Lord is humorous in that sense!

And this time round, I am actually attending the ceremony! Upgraded! LOL

Nevertheless, it is my blessings to be able to witness and be part of this.. as it is very important for the individuals who are graduating.. It is a big day!.. I think it kinda comes next after the wedding day..

*wink*

Always waiting..

Waiting is just something that I have to live with, I think. Anyway, I have come to terms that it is and make the best out of the waiting time.. 

Another waiting process to hear from CWR on whether I would be accepted to do this course that I have been praying about.. But, it is a short wait.. a two-weeks wait.. or could be lesser. :)

On the train...

I am actually scribbling on the train... Going to London for two days... Looking forward to explore what God may have installed for me... whether is this what He desires me to do for the coming one year... I shall soon know...

Also, I am asking this question that God asked me.. "what do I really want?"... Thinking about it.. Reflecting... Trying to look at it from up.. down.. side way.. left... right... all sorts..

What a journey this would be.. ! :-)

Joyful.. Joyful!

This will be the song that I am dancing to in Heartbeat Tallinn... Joined in the dance performance even though I can't dance!.. hehe.. just for the fun of it.. and also reminded of the words that were released to me more than a year back... about dancing to the Lord.. Let see what all this means!

The singer is Laura Hackett...

and what is Heartbeat Tallinn?

this is the website that explains it all.. http://www.2012.ee/

It would be my first trip to Estonia.. and this conference is a mega-conference where everyone in Europe who work in Agape come together.. to meet the Estonians and talk about Jesus! Exciting times! Please pray as you read this scribble of mine..

We will be there from 23rd till 30th July 2012

a good feeling!

It feels good to be able to do an unknown deed!

*grin*

when girl meets boy..

Interestingly, I find that when a girl meets a boy that she likes, there seems to be that kind of a fuss.. a fuss that is rather obvious, possibly... or is it just me noticing things? And, I think that goes the same to when a guy meets a girl that he likes.. 

I do find it rather amusing.. I wonder do people watch me that way too? hmm.. 

D&D

Dreams...

And

Decisions..

Think I could have made a decision! whether it is of God, I am not sure but think it is time to look beyond myself and look outwardly.. In a sense, the decision is very much linked to the needs.

Time to try something new and do things differently!

The Questions..

In my recent time with God, He asked me,
"What do you really want?"
"What is in your heart?"

when I asked Him, "What's next, Lord?"

and I told Him what I really want and what is in my heart...

I wonder.. I do wonder what He thinks of them. and I guess He probably already knew them before I said them.. I possibly have told Him many times by now.. or expressed them to Him in various occasions..

The picture that I have is below... the feelings are; "comfy", "cosy", "restful", "just home", "colorful", "fun", "loved"... Let see what the good Lord has installed for me in the days to come... I am full of hope in Him.. even when the waiting is not easy.. The best will come! *grin*

The nerve..

Today, for some moments, I experienced the "nerve" feelings.. like things or situations just got to my nerves! Oh dear.. I didn't quite like these feelings.. and I found myself becoming very quiet and refusing to speak to anyone.. Just want to be alone and not say anything. Increasingly, I am learning that I have developed ways to manage "nervy" feelings.. whether they are right or not, I am not sure.. but I am learning and I am trying out different ways.. 

Lord, please have mercy upon me... I am still very human.. and I do feel pretty down sometimes.. *grin*

Rain ~ rain ~ rain ~ Bloom ~ bloom

This bloom bloom song from Joseph the King of Dreams just playing in my head as I think about the heavy rain here in Birmingham..

"Bloom"

You've seen the damage words can do, When full of thoughtless pride, Now heed the wiser voice in you, That calls to be your guide, The flowers reaching for the sun are all uniquely blessed, But though each is special not a one is better than the rest

Bloom, bloom, may you know, The wisdom only time breeds, There's room, bloom and you'll grow, To follow where your heart leads, Bloom and may you bring, Your colours to the vast bouquet, There's room, bloom, learn one thing, Your gifts are meant to give away

"Bloom Reprise"

How long must there be anger here, Before we can rejoice, Embracing love instead of fear, Is but a simple choice, It's hard for me to see you fall, So bitter and so blind, When the truest nature of us all, Invites us to be kind, Bloom, bloom, may you know, The wisdom only time breeds, There's room, bloom and you'll grow, To follow where your heart leads, Bloom and may you live, The way your life was meant to be, There's room, bloom and forgive... May sweet compassion set you free

Interestingly.. maybe God is telling me something here.. as I went through this morning's adventure in the rain.. and all the "sudden" changes of event.. Life is an adventure.. It has always been one.. and think it will continue to be one in the days to come.. No doubt about that! Just that I do wonder, is staying here in the UK; the adventure that the Lord wants me to continue to have.. or going home; the next adventure? Tricky.. tricky..  

Praying is the key! and praying is what I am doing at this time as I wait and see.. *blink* Enjoy the song.. :)

Restlessness...

Feeling the sense of restlessness 

and just thought of getting an image from google..

and the following just stood out amongst many..

I am reminded of His Rest.. Maybe that is what I need.

Not be consumed by what is to come but to rest in Him,

trusting Him.. for the plans that would be unfold in His Time..

Now, I just be faithful where I am.. 

Thank You O Lord. :)

One Year in Agape UK..

I still couldn't believe that I have worked one full year in Agape UK.. the Lord surprises me every single time.. and I know He will continue to surprise me in many other areas too!. Fun! *grin*

?

Funny that I always seem to be having "question" or "questions" in my brain.. Yet, interestingly, with the many questions that I have in life which go unanswered, I still ask them and still ask more questions. I still have the Hope! to me, that Hope isn't loud or intrusive.. that Hope is peaceful and assuring.. and just settles comfortably deeply in my heart.. *smile*

hmm..

Looks like God is changing my plans... He is swapping things around.. 

Lets see what He has installed for me, 

indeed. 

I am praying.. as I prepare to visit this land which

I thought I was suppose to go but I didn't at the end.

It will be an interesting time..

as I go, visit, meet friends and people.. 

And, the visit back to homeland this time..

what am I to expect? or think?

Only one thing comes to mind, 

to expect His divine moments.. 

to expect His revelation...

to experience His Love and Hope..

Life is about waiting..

and waiting with His Hope is beautiful..

not easy but peaceful..

learning to trust Him as I wait..

Missing someone..

At this spur moment, just felt like I am missing someone.. and I guess, by missing someone also means that I am remembering and praying for someone. Think that is kinda nice and sweet to be doing. The Lord knows and that is good enough. Is it? I think so. *wink*

Anyway, it is all about holding things with open palm... learning from the good Lord; trusting Him a little more each day.. trusting Him for His Timing of things.. trusting Him that He knows the best.. There is so much to learn in this whole area of trusting Him. I don't think I will ever be able to say, I have learnt enough. That is the beauty of it, isn't it?

Day-dreaming about the good old times.. and having that sense of hope for even better days now and to come.. Do I have the peace, the joy and the love He wants me to have? Am I striving? or am I just embracing what is here and now with that sense of hope?

Well.. another trip and another short journey coming week.. to be added to my life journey.. and I think this would be a very interesting one! The good Lord is probably going to surprise me! We shall see... There is always that hope!.. hee.. 

Please pray for this city..

This is Ostuni, situated South of Italy... Even as I scribble, I am currently in Ostuni.. Been here for the past 9 days.. I have been blessed to be here.. with my friend and my new friends.. 

Please pray for the people in this city that they would come to know our dear Lord Jesus as their Savior.. and that they would be able to recognise the truth of the scripture and not be blinded by many other things.

The Lord has wonderfully blessed me!.. He has allowed me to see beyond.. and see Him at work in the lives of people.. What a privilege to be part of something greater! *grin*

By one-self..

the joy of being by myself.. reflecting and thinking.. I guess it is times like this I am "inward" looking.. Just want to have lots of me-time on my own.. Not having to talk to anyone physically.. except God Himself.. 

and not having to sense anything or carry any for anyone; trusting that God is taking care of all those needs for now.. Just being free to rest in Him.. physically, emotionally and spiritually.. Not that I do this very often.. perhaps it is overdue now.. maybe that is why the abrupt need to do so.. 

I just love that the good Lord is giving me place to go to when I need to.. the freedom of doing so.. 

Next stop!

Yup!.. my next stop.. I am heading to Ostuni coming week.. near Brindisi on the map; literally at the heel of the Italian boot.. Think this would be a very cool trip.. I am praying as I prepare myself to go to Italy.. I pray for deepening of friendship.. and meeting of new friends too! Who knows, learn a few new words.. I am thankful to Him who blesses me with friends.. new friends.. and new stuff to be part of.. fresh ideas to learn..

In the meantime, finishing off the work that I need to do..  and I am off on the plane in a week's time.. yay!.. :)

Flying..

Time for the growing bird to fly on her own... and it also means, time for the concentrated nurturing to lessen even more so that the growing one could feed more on the solid food from the source.. and hence, the right timing of Him for the leaving to somewhere else for a while in between.. This is very exciting! Let see what the good Lord will be doing.. 

The Lord knows my heart desire.. and He sees the move.. the shift.. and He graciously shows them to me.. Time to be off!.. 

Serenity...

This picture just gave me the sense of peace.. I wonder, as I apply, would I be accepted to do the counselling course at this place? I am praying.. friends praying... the people at CWR are praying.. I am excited to see what the Lord has installed for me. :) Is it this place? Is it this course?

Normality..

I have this sense of normality back in my life.. I just have this sense of it recently. I think I am possibly not on cloud nine anymore and back to ground level. Wow! I was on cloud nine since May last year till recently? That was a long stretch of time, I would think.

It is good to feel that I am back on ground level.. and reality has sunk in. I could see myself doing much more stuffs that are on my list. And, I think the turning point was at the Easter Staff conference recently. I still remembered that I shared at the end of the conference that I have learnt lots.. especially in the area of how I was taught during my education years and comparing to how others were being taught; the interactions and all. Also, I shared about being in cloud nine with thoughts that I just couldn't believe that I am where I am now. Amazing that after I shared that, things started to gather in the right places as it were.. and now, scribbling here.. I am able to come to a place where I could scribble so much clearer about it.

Indeed, I could feel that I am able to breathe normally again and it is nice to have that. Please don't get me wrong, it was super cool to be on cloud nine.. that whole sense of feelings of the Lord's wonders and provisions.. I think I would very much like both parts together; intervening .. Seeing the hands of God moving is just amazing! and awesome! 

Yes! I am off to do the things I am called to do.. and in the midst of it all, with that constant hope of seeing His Glory shining on/in each day of my life.. seeing and experiencing His Love in every aspects that life brings; just because He loves me! *wink*

Why UK?

The question that I have today is "Why UK?" I think I have asked this question before. And, yet, I am prompted with it again, today. The Lord has something to say to me, I personally believe as I reflect and think further. I know there is something that He would like me to grasp.. and looking at how things developing slowly in time, I am amazed by how connected they are. I am still unable to paint a whole picture of what I am trying to say, yet, there is this sense of excitement welling within me. How interesting that is!

As I wait.. as I pray.. as I try different things.. as I look and seek Him... I know, in His time, everything will be beautiful! I am waiting and while I wait, I am enjoying His provisions for now.. enjoying the friendships that He has blessed me with.. learning to love people.. learning even to challenge people when need to.. when to hold my tongue.. and when not to.. 

Last night was beautiful.. the sense of it all was just beautiful! I think it was far more than just beautiful! Father Lord does have His ways of getting His hands into things.. and voila, another great piece of art! *grin*

So, why UK? UK has always been in my heart for a long time.. I always envision myself to be here when I was younger. Did God put that in my heart, I wonder? I guess I will press on, pray, wait and see as He unveils more in the days to come.. Please pray with me and for me if you read this.. Thank you! :)

Choices..

Spending time at home.. just reflecting on things.. having the time to think about many things.. Even thinking about the choices I have made.. Choices about how I respond towards people.. friends and various ones.. and even choices I have made with regards to all sorts.

Interestingly, the Lord reminds me again about the heart of humility.. the heart of loving others.. especially and even more the ones that I think I couldn't love.. Hmm.. It is hard.. It would have been much easier to decide not to be involve.. I definitely have much to learn.. and I think it is a lifelong learning.. I will make mistakes.. I have made mistakes.. and even mistakes that I couldn't go back to fix them.. Yet, that is what I have to learn.. and the good Lord teaches me His grace.. He shows me His Grace.. and that is hope, I believe.

Who am I to know what is to come.. ? I remember something I have learnt last few days.. I am known by God.. He knows me through and through.. and He is teaching me... He knows what brings me much joy and even what brings much pain.. Yet, these are the experiences that would shape and mould me.. The Lord wants me to trust Him.. and I want to trust Him.. 

Obviously, there are stuff that I have to face.. that I have to learn from God to surrender to Him.. would I come to that place of full surrendering to Him? definitely a life-long journey.. I am asking Him to have mercy upon me.. coz there are stuff that I still don't understand and there are struggles that I am still facing.. pride stored various places that require time and effort to let go.. gosh!.. lots of work.. and yet, it is the Lord's touch of my heart to stir what is within me.. His mercy and grace is all that I need.. Thank You Abba Father..