Vroooom.....

hehehe.... I am scribbling as if this is my first time driving on the road!.. well, first time in UK... anyway, kinda fun!.. learning new stuff.. or rather the right techniques.. LOL.. lets see what would happen when I go for the test!.. I am praying from now on... coz I have heard so much horror stories of people going through the test many times before passing..... *grin*

Pass!

Yippee.. I passed!... well.. the driving theory test on Friday... It was kinda nerving actually when I was doing the hazard perception test.. unsure of what score I would get.. especially when my first video clip was scored "zero" due to too many clickings!.. goodness me.. what sort of test is this? Well.. throughout the whole test, I was praying.. and taking deep breathes... and looking at the clips so intensively!.. It was so uncertain and the exact feeling was like just trust God!... :)

well.. well... Had my first attempt at driving in the UK yesterday... and was driving manual on top of that.. ooh.. how tired my feet were..... LOL..... and I personally sensed that God is building up my confidence in doing things.. and to come to Him in everything, every part of my life.. even in driving!.. Sweet... *wink* Also, really thank God for providing the different means of help in various areas of my life.. sending people into my life, to help me.. to teach me.. to laugh with me.. to cry with me.. Just amazing.. Thank You O Lord.. *grin*

a cup of tea......

that's my tea... English tea in this adorable mug which well.. was from my previous rental place.. hehe.. not sure who it belongs to before... well, now, it is mine!.. hahaha.. anyway, one thing I acquire for the past one year of being in UK is to acquire my new found love for tea... I literally drank tea everyday except when I was back in Malaysia or when I know I shouldn't be drinking them... Just enjoy drinking tea as I do my work.. hmm.. what work am I doing especially when I am not working..... hahah.. it is the question of what I do with my time.... and I am learning to really appreciate time that I have.. to do many things, books to read, people to meet.. activities to go for.....

I think today, I am being rather optimistic about many things.. I am actually rather surprise myself to see such optimism... but am really glad to have it.... also, during this time, though my mom is far away back home, I am talking to her much.. about so many things.... "complaining" to her about what had happened and even to talk about anything under the sky.. I guess, really.. this is one thing I treasure much and in a way, it is worth to be away from home.. to be able to recognise in greater depth that my mom and dad are the most important people in my life other than Jesus.. and that no matter how many times I fall and make mistakes, they are there to support me.. the sacrifices they made go beyond words could describe.. really.. I am truly blessed by God for putting me into their lives..... they just give me such liberty and freedom to try new things..

and in this time, I am also trying to read this book.. by David Pawson, a renown bible teacher.. "Unlocking the bible...... " what better time to have this time of my life to discover more about His Truth in His Living Word..... I really hope to be able to cultivate such habit in reading His Word with eagerness and desire to learn and grow; especially so when I get busy in the days to come, with work and other stuff..... I know the Lord is helping me.. He is showing me the way.. *grin*

Do we have questions?

what questions are they? What are they about? I remembered last Tuesday at Alpha course, the speaker shared about people carrying lots of questions in their lives... People with big, huge and heavy question marks.. sometimes, because they are so heavy and huge, it makes the "carrier" so tired and even cause the "carrier" to timble tumble all over in the journey of life.... The challenge was to set aside these question marks and ...... look at life..... and more importantly, look at what Lord Jesus is telling us... Hmm...... I thought it was really profoundly well said by the speaker..... and I just love the way he illustrated it....

Well.. tonight is another night of Alpha...... I am praying that His truth would truly sprout in the hearts of the guests of Alpha..... Seeds have been sown.. it is really about God working in the hearts of people and helping them to come to that place of awe and praise to the Living God..... That is my prayer today for all the alpha courses that are running this week in every part of the UK as well as worldwide.... Even as I scribble and pray, I could feel a spiritual sense of movement..... How to explain it? hmm.. words just not able to describe it.. except to feel it as we pray...... the move of God....

Embracing life..

Aww.. this phrase just popped into my mind today as I think about today and what had taken place.. with not being successful in my hazard test.. and yet pass with with flying colors for the multiple choice questions.... But the end result is that I have to take both all over again.. and I am gonna do that this coming Friday...

Thinking about it.. guess, the lesson learnt here is that sometimes, we can never really know how to be ready for things..... well.. for example, the hazard test..... I thought it would not be that difficult and yet because I have missed out on how to tackle it, I didn't get through it.. Well, that's my 31pounds lesson learnt...... and of course, it is hard on the "pride" department.... but well, embracing life is also about embracing "failures" as well as "successes"..... That is really the fun of things.... well, if I look at it optimistically..... I could have chosen to mourn over it.. and be depressed.. but what good would it do to me? Nothing!.. In fact, it would only make me feel miserable and down...

Well.. I think God is teaching me to embrace life more gracefully... embracing failures with a tinch of optimism or maybe more?.... to learn and to grow..... to actually be joyful in spite of situations.... to rejoice in the Lord!.. :) Is this radical? hmm.. For me, I guess it is.... and I am enjoying it much more than few months ago... To lead a radical life.. one that is full with excitements and challenges..... with one utmost and constant source of life = Jesus!..... yippeeeeee....

Traffic Signs? Theory test?

This whole weekend is all about traffic signs.. about the dos and don'ts of driving.. bla blah.. coz I am going for a test on Monday!.. It is ages since I went for such test.. hmm.. Well, just have to go through it again because I am in a new country.... it is really like I am starting anew..... the process of starting anew started last year and it is still in the progress.. time consuming and sometimes can be frustrating but it is rewarding at the end.... and it is something which God has blessed me with... *grin* well.. I am off to be swimming with traffic signs and etc etc... heeee...

On a sunday morning 940am...

I was sitting on a bench with the view above.. in a cool breezy day.. filled with much inspiration to scribble and I did.... the thought that came on sunday morning (18.10.09) as I was sitting there by myself was ... hmm.. A journey to be travelled alone and yet in the midst of many.. And in this instance, 'alone' is not a bad thing.. There is a need for time to be alone.. It is something to be discovered even more, something personal.. and it can be real fun because I am not really alone.. as God is with me all the time.. His love just overwhelms me inside out..

It just amazes me to see many things taking place... how little things seem to be unfolding, as it were.. I know I am excited.. and I am asking God what does all these means? and just reflecting of what I have been involving in the past weeks and months.. while I wait in God.. Being involved in lives is something God has put in my heart to do and yet sometimes, it can be risky.. as I am exposing myself to be vulnerable.. To be involved in lives require myself to be as transparent and true as possible to others.. hmm.. yet, it is so rewarding to see lives being touched and encouraged.. I am so thankful that I am able to see that truth.. and to experience such blessings....

well..... some of the stuff that I was reflecting on that sunday were truly personal and life-changing thoughts.. it shall go to my little journal instead of here.. But, truly.. sitting there at the bench, observing people coming and going, reflecting and thinking was truly refreshing to my soul....... and I am really glad that I heeded His voice to go somewhere and spend time alone with Him on that sunday morning..... *grin*

when the oceans rise and thunders roar......

I will soar with God above the storm................

Just want to share this song here... eventhough it has been there for years now.. Hmm.. It just spoke of my heart at the current state... being still and know He is my God..... finding rest in Christ alone... what an assurance.. what love He pours into my life...

*feeling so warm and so loved*

Inspirations flooding in....

Hmm.. I wonder... am I getting more inspirations to scribble for the coming weeks? I just wonder.. Hmm.. well, I feel excited about things and yet at the same time, I want to walk closely with Him.. I desire to be in line with Him in all that I do..

Though at the moment I may not see it, I just have this tinkling feeling that many beautiful things would take place in the coming weeks...... It has begun.... and I know deep down that God would surprise me again and again.... yippee..... can't wait to be surprised by Him!.. *wink*

And, I thought the photo I have taken last Saturday was just appropriate for this post....... the pathway.. walking the pathway of life.. It is a journey.. and, as I walk this journey of life, I am experiencing many stuff... and God is walking with me..... teaching me to appreciate His people.. to appreciate His nature.. more and more.... how awesome could this get? no words to describe except to be awed by Him.......... *grin*

"Some time later the brook dried up......."

the title phrase was taken from 1 Kings 17:7... and the story of Elijah that I am going to scribble about here was taken from 1 Kings 17:1-16... and this was shared at my church in the UK (St John's) a week ago..... Below is the passage; New International Version...

******

1 Kings 17:1 - 16

Elijah Fed by Ravens

1 Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."
2 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."
5 So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

The Widow at Zarephath

7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?"

11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

******

The preacher emphasized "radical obedience"... looking at how Elijah stepping out in faith and in obedience.. and as Elijah did that, surprisingly, the brook dried up some time later which indicates that obedience could also bring us to a place of barrenness and of lack... It is not a sign or indication of disobedience.. Instead, it is in that place of waiting and of lack, God challenges the picture of us putting Him in the Box... It is in those times that we really see what is inside us and how much do we really trust Him....... I find this particularly interesting. Why so? well.. somehow, I felt that I am at that place of lack.. that place of waiting..... hmm..

So, why did God takes Elijah to that place of barrenness and of lack? looking at the passage above, we could see that God uses that and Elijah to bring about a miracle for Elijah.... On top of that, it is also to bring supernatural provision to a widow and her son.. In another words, bringing blessings to others. And the preacher shared that miracle happens when we run out of our own resources... and that the only people who get miracles are those who need them..... Much truth to chew on and yet, I just able to identify with them..

Finally, the preacher also stated that those waiting times are also birthing times... to birth desires within... It is when God wants to birth something deep inside....... Deep, huh? profound, most definitely..... And it excited me as I listened to the sermon that day...... It triggered much thoughts and I just want to run to God to talk to Him about them....... heeeeee...

Waiting is tough!..

oh yes, it is tough.. I have to be very honest about it.. What else could I scribble about it? It is really a matter of choosing how I look at it.. optimistically or pessimistically? I would love to be optimistic about it. However, I realize at this moment that I was trying very hard to be optimistic but somehow, my whole body language and behaviors do not project it..

Maybe I am trying too hard? Maybe I am relying on my own strength instead of God's? Oh bummer!.. Maybe that is why!..

How do I overcome this? It feels like time is running out.... and I am still stuck!.. bummer.. bummer... I wonder what God is saying in all this? What am I to learn from this? Why the wait? How long more to wait? What am I to do? and I could feel that things are falling apart.... or is it just my vivid imagination? is this the "evil" at work..? trying to make me think that things are falling apart? hmmmmmmmmm....

Actually, come to think of it, since my life was picked up by God from pieces and made whole two years ago; He knows what He is doing.. It doesn't really matter anymore.... if I am to wait, I would just wait.. and God never ever fail..... I shall just hold onto that promise and live!.. whether I get a job or not, He knows I need money to sustain and keep me going.. so, He will provide at the right time..

So, what's next? Next or rather what I would continue to do would be to just be as obedient as possible to hear His voice and follow Him.. Do what He impresses in my heart to do.. Be who He wants me to be.. Jobs are in His hands.. My life is in His hands!..

Again.. the phrase.. NO TURNING BACK... *wink*

"I know I can. I know I can... because of JESUS"

This just came so timely for me....... and I know the story of the Little Engine That Could.. I read it when I was a little girl..... awww... Anyway, just want to share the following devotion reading I received today...... It is another assurance from God to me at this juncture of my life...... Amazing God!.. :D Pray that you would be blessed as I have been blessed and even more as you read on............. *wink*

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Daily Manna
August 19, 2009

I Know I Can

By Cindy Hess Kasper

God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20

Remember the story of The Little Engine That Could? That determined little train climbed the steep hill by chanting positively, “I think I can. I think I can.” And then, as it gained more resolve, it declared, “I know I can. I know I can.”

No one would disagree that followers of Christ should think and live in a positive way. But do you ever find yourself depending too much on your own abilities rather than on the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit?

In John 15, Jesus explained our need for complete dependence on Him when He said, “He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (v.5). Paul reminded us that we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us]” (Phil. 4:13), that “the excellence of the power [is] of God and not of us” (2 Cor. 4:7), and that we are “strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man” (Eph. 3:16).

Because of God’s power, we can do whatever He asks of us—through Him. We can base our confidence not in our own abilities, but in God’s absolute promises.

So, today, with exceedingly more power than the little engine could ever muster, we can say, “I know I can. I know I can—because of Jesus.”

God gives to His servants this promise:

You’ll not have to face life alone;

And when you grow weak in your struggle,

His strength will prevail—not your own. —Hess

God’s requirements are met by God’s enabling.

Phil 4:12b-13
…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

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Missing my two little munchkins...

Out of no where, I am missing my two little munchkins... my nephew and niece (Josh and Tiff).. They must have grown more now.. since the last time I seen them..

Another step...

yes... received a call on Monday morning that I have been successful to proceed to 2nd stage interview in this company.. A step forward as I rest in the Lord and trust Him as I prepare for the interview.. It wasn't easy actually.. as waiting is tough.. sometimes, some moments, I get disillusioned.. I have to admit that.. It is the struggle of the flesh.. After I received the call, I felt happy.. till I cried!.. I guess some parts of me still couldn't believe that I would be called for 2nd interview.. I personally believe that this process of waiting and trusting God is very important.....

I am so thankful to Him who reveals step by step.. and God, in His own special ways, is touching my heart.... I remembered the prayer prayed by one of the lady prayer ministers at St John... I am really glad that I obeyed God's prompting to go in front for prayers.. It just felt so right....

I will try my very best to prepare the powerpoint for the presentation... and to practise presenting it... and trust that God will guide my every word and action during the presentation... His calmness and steadiness is with me.... His confidence, courage and creativity will be reflected in my presentation.. Pray for me ya, my dear readers.... thank you.....*wink*

God knows her heart..

Yes... Truly God knows my heart. He sent de one and only thing He knows would put a big big smile on my face and in my heart. A Tatty Teddy Bear! A big bear.. My most favourite bear.. Eventhough it is on loan for de coming two years, I just couldn't believe I have him on my bed in my comfy room.. I know I would get to own one of my very own one day.....

Even in this little matter, God took care of it..... and He gave lavishly.. I was praying for one.. but never thought that he would be such a huge one.. Somehow, this blessing confirms even more and deeper in my heart that God is taking care of other matters of my life; even more so the big matters!..... I am so comforted.. I really am..... *grin*

Inspiration.. I need some!..

Somehow today, I just longed for inspirations..... Why? Hmm.. not sure.. I guess I want to do something!.. ha.. something different... probably, I am just so poofed out after a day of looking at jobs websites..... Need inspiration to apply jobs differently!.. where do I get such inspirations from? *Ting!* *Bling* *bulb lightens!* who else but God?.... *smile*

And inspirations to scribble more here..... coz I notice that I have not been scribbling lots these days.... it is like, I have ran out of ideas to scribble... ooh... where has they gone to? under my bed? wait wait.... possibly I was too pre-occupied with the uncertainties of what is to come that I am zooked out of ideas...... Now, that is not good!.. So, time to buck up!... and be inspired!........ And it is a choice!.. constant choice.....

Anyway, looking forward to see some friends tonight..... C-group members...... and we are suppose to go for a historical walk round Harborne but then the weather doesn't seem to be too good.. will see what happens, I guess.... Oh!.. it is already wednesday now and I still haven't heard any news on the interview I went for a week ago!...... getting abit more nervy now..... Just being honest here....

oh...... how? how? *frantic anxious look* hmm...... keep cool and pray..... trust God and believe there is a reason for this wait..... But I need to get a job soooooon...... else I turn into couch potato!.. aiks... Ha!.. maybe that is why I am not scribbling that much these days...... well, I am just expressing myself in public!.. heeeee.. oops.... Just being me.... Just being real with the feelings that I have currently......

Well.. here goes......... be witty.. be brave... be real... be inspired!...... See.. I have said it!... and I feel so much better now..... I will be back! *wink*

Amazing God, He is...

Yes.. truly He is amazing!.. He never fails me.. I know He never will.... and I look forward to see what He has installed for me in the days to come. As I wait upon Him at this hour, He assured me over and over again in ways only He knows how that would touch my heart.... Just as the saying goes, "God is good, All the time"... and it is really true!.. He Is Good, All the Time.. and All the Time, God is Good!..

Have been thinking lots; reflecting lots too... I have all the time to do that at this juncture of my life.. Seeking the Lord's face.. Waiting on Him, trying my best to hear His voice and follow His guidance..

Even on the past Sunday, God has been speaking and assuring me through the two church services I went for.. one in the morning and one in the evening.. Hmm.. I think it would be interesting to just scribble down the few snippets of bible verses that stood out for me from the two sermons....

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 5:6

..... at just the right time........

Hosea 12:6

But you must return to your God;

maintain love and justice,

and wait for your God always.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will restore your fortunes. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

May His Word speak to us all even as we read and reflect on them...... and there was this one phrase that remains in my mind saying; "Lets not be satisfied with less than what He has for us". How profound that was!.. Well, I find it profound!.. coz many times, I always got myself stuck, thinking that I only deserve just a little without realising that God has more for me.. Not sure how the mentality of this came about but it is there.. But this time, I choose not to be stuck in such thoughts!.. Instead I am choosing to believe and trust God.. that He has the best for me.. far beyond my own imagination...... *grin*

May His Name be glorified in every way He sees fit........ in my life...... in my personal walk with Him.... in this exciting journey of life...... *wink*

A bit clearer?

Lots of things took place the past two to three weeks...... I moved!.. and am in my new place for about a week plus now... still adjusting to things.. and it is getting there....... many adjustments to be done...... hee.... different experiences ahead!..

And, I have two good news!.. I gotten back my passport on 22nd July with granted leave to remain and work in UK for the coming two years..... This happened just two days before I moved out from my old place.... Isn't God amazing? On top of that, just few hours later of the same day, I received a call to go for interview..... Everything on the same day... I don't think it is coincident but His divine provision and plan........ :) double yippee!..

Ya.... the interview is tomorrow on 5th August 2009 at 12 noon........ I am preparing as much as I could but then again, how much could I prepare? Hmm...... I will do my best and leave the rest to God... if this company is where I am suppose to be in the days to come, the door will remain open and I will go in..... I am praying..... I am resting in Him...... eventhough it could be quite a challenge sometimes because I am a natural worrier.. But you know what? God's assurance is always there..... and as always, He sent people to encourage me, to speak timely words into me..... I am so touched and blessed by His everlasting love.... Just awed by Him...

Funny enough or rather strange enough, I haven't applied any other jobs..... hmmmm... risky matter huh? really.. not sure why I didn't...... oh well, will take one step at a time... and keep looking to Him...... Humanly speaking, I think I am taking such a big risk..... and yet, I felt right..... hmm....... time will tell!.. :)

well..... here goes.. interview tomorrow........ *wink*...... Thank God for such opportunity!..... :D

What is next?

This question has been in my mind all the time.. and I wonder.. I think I could even have scribbled about this too.. Can't remember and I didn't check.. hehe.. Anyway, day passes by real fast and just boggles my mind how fast it is..... So, what have I been doing?

Still waiting.. for my visa.. and waiting for news of the job I applied to.. Wonder where will I be working? Would I be working permanently? or signing contracts? Hmm.. Really do not know what God has installed for me.. I think reality will set in even more once I get my two years visa.. For now, the feeling is like.. "hmm.. floating".. uncertainty.. sense of "not sure"..

It just confirms even more that waiting period is tough.. the sense of not working at the moment just doesn't seem to be acceptable.. and yet, rushing into doing something doesn't seem to be right too.. So, kinda irony feeling.. kinda strange.. what is God saying in all these? what important lessons I am to learn from all these? How should I response?

I have been thinking.. I have been asking.. and I remembered the story of Joseph.. I remembered the story of Esther.. I was reminded of the story of Daniel.... How would I go beyond my current state and push forward to the next level? What are the things that I am to do? and even today as I was travelling in the bus, I was in deep thoughts... about many things.. and I was observing people too.. People on the bus.. the way how they carry themselves.. I am experimenting too.. what are the things that create grounds for people to talk, to smile.. Just amazed to see things.. things that I would probably not able to see if I am not on the bus.. On the bus, we can see many different type of people from all sides.. all levels of society..

Would I dare? I desire much to do many things.. and yet sometimes, it takes courage to do them.. and yet it feels right.. Should I? Would I? I guess that is how God wires me to be.. to be creative in different aspects of life.. to be curious.. to be willing to try..

Oh.. the best part is God is with me all the time...... and I could just do anything.. or don't do anything..... :D of course, within His boundary...... heee........ loving life.. loving people....... aww..... just brilliant!.. *wink*

Nerve wrecking?

This feeling does come at times.. the nerve wrecking feeling.. it can be pretty annoying when it comes.. ooh.. How to deal with it? Hmm.. from my own experience, I would go to Abba Father and surrender them to Him.. but of course, there are times that I didn't do that allow it to "conquer" for many moments and I was shattered after that!.. sigh.. But I am learning from experiences not to allow it to bother me.. not allow myself to wallow in it and be shattered!.. Sometimes, I succeed.. Sometimes, I didn't.. but guess that is pretty normal because, after all, I am still human!.. and not perfect..

But basically.. it is alot to do with choices.. my choices.. coz as the feelings come which they will come, it is actually my choice how it is going to affect me.. Sound easy? Hmm.. it can be if only we don't complicate it!.. hehe.. I try looking at it as simple as I could.. and to make deliberate choices.. and trusting that God is always there to prompt me.. to remind me.. Being me, there are times, I didn't hear it.. didn't catch it.. and then I fell.. a little.. and.. oops.. well, nevermind, I could get up again!.. That is the beauty of God's grace and mercy.. *grin*

Guess.. that's life.. hor? with its ups and downs.... with its excitements and pitfall experiences... but the most important key is to stay close with God.. walk close with God.. others may fall and tumble, others may fail and disappoint.. all else may fail but God will never!.. and I am holding this KEY super closely to my heart.... and I pray that all my family, friends and loved ones would do so as well...... what treasure it is.... *wink*