The Questions..

In my recent time with God, He asked me,
"What do you really want?"
"What is in your heart?"

when I asked Him, "What's next, Lord?"

and I told Him what I really want and what is in my heart...

I wonder.. I do wonder what He thinks of them. and I guess He probably already knew them before I said them.. I possibly have told Him many times by now.. or expressed them to Him in various occasions..

The picture that I have is below... the feelings are; "comfy", "cosy", "restful", "just home", "colorful", "fun", "loved"... Let see what the good Lord has installed for me in the days to come... I am full of hope in Him.. even when the waiting is not easy.. The best will come! *grin*

The nerve..

Today, for some moments, I experienced the "nerve" feelings.. like things or situations just got to my nerves! Oh dear.. I didn't quite like these feelings.. and I found myself becoming very quiet and refusing to speak to anyone.. Just want to be alone and not say anything. Increasingly, I am learning that I have developed ways to manage "nervy" feelings.. whether they are right or not, I am not sure.. but I am learning and I am trying out different ways.. 

Lord, please have mercy upon me... I am still very human.. and I do feel pretty down sometimes.. *grin*

Rain ~ rain ~ rain ~ Bloom ~ bloom

This bloom bloom song from Joseph the King of Dreams just playing in my head as I think about the heavy rain here in Birmingham..

"Bloom"

You've seen the damage words can do, When full of thoughtless pride, Now heed the wiser voice in you, That calls to be your guide, The flowers reaching for the sun are all uniquely blessed, But though each is special not a one is better than the rest

Bloom, bloom, may you know, The wisdom only time breeds, There's room, bloom and you'll grow, To follow where your heart leads, Bloom and may you bring, Your colours to the vast bouquet, There's room, bloom, learn one thing, Your gifts are meant to give away

"Bloom Reprise"

How long must there be anger here, Before we can rejoice, Embracing love instead of fear, Is but a simple choice, It's hard for me to see you fall, So bitter and so blind, When the truest nature of us all, Invites us to be kind, Bloom, bloom, may you know, The wisdom only time breeds, There's room, bloom and you'll grow, To follow where your heart leads, Bloom and may you live, The way your life was meant to be, There's room, bloom and forgive... May sweet compassion set you free

Interestingly.. maybe God is telling me something here.. as I went through this morning's adventure in the rain.. and all the "sudden" changes of event.. Life is an adventure.. It has always been one.. and think it will continue to be one in the days to come.. No doubt about that! Just that I do wonder, is staying here in the UK; the adventure that the Lord wants me to continue to have.. or going home; the next adventure? Tricky.. tricky..  

Praying is the key! and praying is what I am doing at this time as I wait and see.. *blink* Enjoy the song.. :)

Restlessness...

Feeling the sense of restlessness 

and just thought of getting an image from google..

and the following just stood out amongst many..

I am reminded of His Rest.. Maybe that is what I need.

Not be consumed by what is to come but to rest in Him,

trusting Him.. for the plans that would be unfold in His Time..

Now, I just be faithful where I am.. 

Thank You O Lord. :)

One Year in Agape UK..

I still couldn't believe that I have worked one full year in Agape UK.. the Lord surprises me every single time.. and I know He will continue to surprise me in many other areas too!. Fun! *grin*

?

Funny that I always seem to be having "question" or "questions" in my brain.. Yet, interestingly, with the many questions that I have in life which go unanswered, I still ask them and still ask more questions. I still have the Hope! to me, that Hope isn't loud or intrusive.. that Hope is peaceful and assuring.. and just settles comfortably deeply in my heart.. *smile*

hmm..

Looks like God is changing my plans... He is swapping things around.. 

Lets see what He has installed for me, 

indeed. 

I am praying.. as I prepare to visit this land which

I thought I was suppose to go but I didn't at the end.

It will be an interesting time..

as I go, visit, meet friends and people.. 

And, the visit back to homeland this time..

what am I to expect? or think?

Only one thing comes to mind, 

to expect His divine moments.. 

to expect His revelation...

to experience His Love and Hope..

Life is about waiting..

and waiting with His Hope is beautiful..

not easy but peaceful..

learning to trust Him as I wait..

Missing someone..

At this spur moment, just felt like I am missing someone.. and I guess, by missing someone also means that I am remembering and praying for someone. Think that is kinda nice and sweet to be doing. The Lord knows and that is good enough. Is it? I think so. *wink*

Anyway, it is all about holding things with open palm... learning from the good Lord; trusting Him a little more each day.. trusting Him for His Timing of things.. trusting Him that He knows the best.. There is so much to learn in this whole area of trusting Him. I don't think I will ever be able to say, I have learnt enough. That is the beauty of it, isn't it?

Day-dreaming about the good old times.. and having that sense of hope for even better days now and to come.. Do I have the peace, the joy and the love He wants me to have? Am I striving? or am I just embracing what is here and now with that sense of hope?

Well.. another trip and another short journey coming week.. to be added to my life journey.. and I think this would be a very interesting one! The good Lord is probably going to surprise me! We shall see... There is always that hope!.. hee.. 

Please pray for this city..

This is Ostuni, situated South of Italy... Even as I scribble, I am currently in Ostuni.. Been here for the past 9 days.. I have been blessed to be here.. with my friend and my new friends.. 

Please pray for the people in this city that they would come to know our dear Lord Jesus as their Savior.. and that they would be able to recognise the truth of the scripture and not be blinded by many other things.

The Lord has wonderfully blessed me!.. He has allowed me to see beyond.. and see Him at work in the lives of people.. What a privilege to be part of something greater! *grin*

By one-self..

the joy of being by myself.. reflecting and thinking.. I guess it is times like this I am "inward" looking.. Just want to have lots of me-time on my own.. Not having to talk to anyone physically.. except God Himself.. 

and not having to sense anything or carry any for anyone; trusting that God is taking care of all those needs for now.. Just being free to rest in Him.. physically, emotionally and spiritually.. Not that I do this very often.. perhaps it is overdue now.. maybe that is why the abrupt need to do so.. 

I just love that the good Lord is giving me place to go to when I need to.. the freedom of doing so.. 

Next stop!

Yup!.. my next stop.. I am heading to Ostuni coming week.. near Brindisi on the map; literally at the heel of the Italian boot.. Think this would be a very cool trip.. I am praying as I prepare myself to go to Italy.. I pray for deepening of friendship.. and meeting of new friends too! Who knows, learn a few new words.. I am thankful to Him who blesses me with friends.. new friends.. and new stuff to be part of.. fresh ideas to learn..

In the meantime, finishing off the work that I need to do..  and I am off on the plane in a week's time.. yay!.. :)

Flying..

Time for the growing bird to fly on her own... and it also means, time for the concentrated nurturing to lessen even more so that the growing one could feed more on the solid food from the source.. and hence, the right timing of Him for the leaving to somewhere else for a while in between.. This is very exciting! Let see what the good Lord will be doing.. 

The Lord knows my heart desire.. and He sees the move.. the shift.. and He graciously shows them to me.. Time to be off!.. 

Serenity...

This picture just gave me the sense of peace.. I wonder, as I apply, would I be accepted to do the counselling course at this place? I am praying.. friends praying... the people at CWR are praying.. I am excited to see what the Lord has installed for me. :) Is it this place? Is it this course?

Normality..

I have this sense of normality back in my life.. I just have this sense of it recently. I think I am possibly not on cloud nine anymore and back to ground level. Wow! I was on cloud nine since May last year till recently? That was a long stretch of time, I would think.

It is good to feel that I am back on ground level.. and reality has sunk in. I could see myself doing much more stuffs that are on my list. And, I think the turning point was at the Easter Staff conference recently. I still remembered that I shared at the end of the conference that I have learnt lots.. especially in the area of how I was taught during my education years and comparing to how others were being taught; the interactions and all. Also, I shared about being in cloud nine with thoughts that I just couldn't believe that I am where I am now. Amazing that after I shared that, things started to gather in the right places as it were.. and now, scribbling here.. I am able to come to a place where I could scribble so much clearer about it.

Indeed, I could feel that I am able to breathe normally again and it is nice to have that. Please don't get me wrong, it was super cool to be on cloud nine.. that whole sense of feelings of the Lord's wonders and provisions.. I think I would very much like both parts together; intervening .. Seeing the hands of God moving is just amazing! and awesome! 

Yes! I am off to do the things I am called to do.. and in the midst of it all, with that constant hope of seeing His Glory shining on/in each day of my life.. seeing and experiencing His Love in every aspects that life brings; just because He loves me! *wink*

Why UK?

The question that I have today is "Why UK?" I think I have asked this question before. And, yet, I am prompted with it again, today. The Lord has something to say to me, I personally believe as I reflect and think further. I know there is something that He would like me to grasp.. and looking at how things developing slowly in time, I am amazed by how connected they are. I am still unable to paint a whole picture of what I am trying to say, yet, there is this sense of excitement welling within me. How interesting that is!

As I wait.. as I pray.. as I try different things.. as I look and seek Him... I know, in His time, everything will be beautiful! I am waiting and while I wait, I am enjoying His provisions for now.. enjoying the friendships that He has blessed me with.. learning to love people.. learning even to challenge people when need to.. when to hold my tongue.. and when not to.. 

Last night was beautiful.. the sense of it all was just beautiful! I think it was far more than just beautiful! Father Lord does have His ways of getting His hands into things.. and voila, another great piece of art! *grin*

So, why UK? UK has always been in my heart for a long time.. I always envision myself to be here when I was younger. Did God put that in my heart, I wonder? I guess I will press on, pray, wait and see as He unveils more in the days to come.. Please pray with me and for me if you read this.. Thank you! :)

Choices..

Spending time at home.. just reflecting on things.. having the time to think about many things.. Even thinking about the choices I have made.. Choices about how I respond towards people.. friends and various ones.. and even choices I have made with regards to all sorts.

Interestingly, the Lord reminds me again about the heart of humility.. the heart of loving others.. especially and even more the ones that I think I couldn't love.. Hmm.. It is hard.. It would have been much easier to decide not to be involve.. I definitely have much to learn.. and I think it is a lifelong learning.. I will make mistakes.. I have made mistakes.. and even mistakes that I couldn't go back to fix them.. Yet, that is what I have to learn.. and the good Lord teaches me His grace.. He shows me His Grace.. and that is hope, I believe.

Who am I to know what is to come.. ? I remember something I have learnt last few days.. I am known by God.. He knows me through and through.. and He is teaching me... He knows what brings me much joy and even what brings much pain.. Yet, these are the experiences that would shape and mould me.. The Lord wants me to trust Him.. and I want to trust Him.. 

Obviously, there are stuff that I have to face.. that I have to learn from God to surrender to Him.. would I come to that place of full surrendering to Him? definitely a life-long journey.. I am asking Him to have mercy upon me.. coz there are stuff that I still don't understand and there are struggles that I am still facing.. pride stored various places that require time and effort to let go.. gosh!.. lots of work.. and yet, it is the Lord's touch of my heart to stir what is within me.. His mercy and grace is all that I need.. Thank You Abba Father.. 

Stronger..

Embracing each moment and feelings with the sense of being stronger in Him.. It is nice to be complacent and yet is this what the Lord would want me to have? Or does He want me to grow.. grow.. grow.. and not be complacent.. be contented, yes! but not complacent..

Have this feeling that time at Newcastle would be a very interesting one.. especially when I would be staying with people whom I haven't met.. Praying for spiritual connections.. praying for the sense of bonding beyond my own understanding.. the one that is given by God Himself!.. I am excited!.. God, Thy Face I seek.. all the days of my life.. I am sorry for being distracted sometimes.. yet, You waited.. and then, here we go again on this journey.. :)

His Timing..

timing of God is just so mysterious
that is beyond my understanding, really... 

The only way is to trust Him abit more each day...
and I want to trust Him!

Time for another roller coaster ride with the Lord...
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Call it coincidental or whatever you like,
but for me, I call it His Timing. :)

1st entry..

What do I mean by 1st entry?

I have no clue at the moment what I am thinking about as I think of 1st entry but this phrase just kinda stay on in my head.

According to the Free dictionary online, entry means.. "the act of beginning something new"

hmm... *grin*

April 2012 is just round the corner..

Amazingly, as I think of scribbling here, I think of how time flew by so ever quickly.. especially this year 2012. Rightly so, April 2012 is just round the corner.. Is this something for me to ponder about or am I just wondering, where has all the time gone to?

For the first time in many months I feel I could take a deep breathe and relax.. I have been super busy at work.. sorting the accounts out.. well, figuring my way through the newness of work life.. Just had our auditors in our office and I am thankful to Him for the smoothness of the whole process..

I still remembered that day, a Monday morning where I just felt for a spur moment.. that sense of not wanting to continue anymore. Just that sense of tiredness, I suppose. But I really thank God for a wonderful team leader that He has blessed me with.. who offered to pray into the situation instead of anything else. I really appreciate that. I am thankful for my other colleagues too.. for their support and prayers.

Yay!.. the sky looks much much clearer at my end now...

I know the dear Lord is speaking.. as I wait upon Him..... as I seek His face... I am waiting in much anticipation.. for His Glory.. to shine in all areas of my life.. and the lives around me..

Thank You Lord..