Encounter Weekend..

It is special and interesting.. Why? coz met with God again!.. Such awesome time to be in His presence and in His Love.. and in the fellowship of brothers and sisters of Christ.. And you know what? I am not complaining if I get to meet God everyday.. He is just amazing.

Photos coming up soon... Got to do work now, last minute addition work and wrapping up of Dissertation Proposal for tomorrow's submission.. Pray for me ya.. *wink*

to be or not to be......

Just got back from the Student Service at Uni... Met the International Student Advisor on visa stuffy.. due to my case being unique.. (ha, as usual.. always end up being unique somehow.. hmm.. I do wonder why.. is it in-born? hehe.. ), it is a BIG QUESTION MARK whether I could apply for this visa called the post study working visa... So, the advisor gonna check it for me and let me know the soonest she could which is tomorrow.. Well.. as the title said, to be or not to be.. hmm.. lets see where God is leading me about this... and I know He would allow me to see with clarity and precision.....

Whatever it may be, I will be where He wants me to be... whether to go back to Malaysia or to stay on here or even to go else where..... it really doesn't matter because nothing is holding me back.. God is with me and that is the most important thing!.. *wink* Goin back has its plus points mean I would be with my family, I would be with my friends... Staying on has its plus points too, meaning I could experience working life here, I have my friends and the church.. I could travel!.. Going else where, of course has its plus points which leads to me having more challenges, uprooting myself again and getting use to the new place, making new friends.. Hmm.. all have its plus points!.. ooh.. I love this!..

kay... time to continue with my work.... hehehe.. chapter two to finish.. still at number two, unfortunately.. hehee..

The "Water Test"...

I love today's devotion from the Vine.. It goes well with my soul.. hehehe....... I wanna post it here... and it is just so true about the "letting go" part and also the "hard" part for a nurturer by nature (that is so me!)... hey! is God talking to me? oooh.. cool..... :D And I particularly like this phrase, "You can't convert the fearful into the faithful".. I have heard a similar phrase like that last year at the crunch of time....... Interestingly, it is being mentioned today here at this hour, not earlier and not later... hmm.. Scribbler is reflecting in the Lord once again........ aww.. so blessed to be able to do that all the time...... *grin*.....

******

The 'Water Test'

Bring them down to the water, and I will test them. Judges 7:4 NKJV

If somebody keeps refusing to support you, let them go - or you'll wish you had. This is especially hard to accept if you're a nurturer by nature, somebody who's invested in making relationships work, come what may. You can't convert the fearful into the faithful. That's God's job, and His 'water test' showed Gideon who he could count on and who he couldn't. God told Gideon: "You have too large an army… they'll take… credit… Make [an]… announcement: 'Anyone… who has any qualms… may leave'… Twenty-two companies headed… home. Ten… were left. God said… 'There are still too many. Take them down to the stream and I'll make a final cut'" (Judges 7:2-4 TM).

When the opposition is arrayed against you like "sand on the seashore" (Judges 7:12 TM) it's often the time when you lose the most support. Don't worry, God is at work. During the first cut, when Joshua lost 22,000 men, what looked like a setback was actually a set-up from God to determine who was dependable. "Gideon took the troops down to the stream… Three hundred lapped… from their cupped hands… the rest knelt to drink. God said… 'I'll use the three hundred… to… give Midian into your hands'" (Judges 7:5-7 TM).

We learn two lessons from this story: (1) You need to be able to see your enemy approaching. Those who knelt to drink sacrificed their vision to satisfy their immediate need. (2) When God reduces your support, it's to give you a miraculous victory. It's to show how somebody without formal credentials can run a company, or somebody who's lost everything can make a comeback. So when the people around you can't pass God's 'water test', let them go and trust God. He has something better in mind.

******

Genesis 3:16c...

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception;

in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children;

and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

This was one of those random verses that came to mind in the midst of days... Anyway.... the followings are my thoughts of the last bit of the verse "thy desire shall be to thy husband,"..... as I reflected and reflect.... hehe...... which I shared with a friend.....there are much to learn even in just a short part of the verse.. that shows how rich God's Word is... His Living Word.

Hmm.. my reflection of Genesis 3:16 is that this was said right after the fall of man.... the woman's desire for husband/man was intensified.. it is a curse.. This is not original plan of God for woman..... The orginal plan for woman was for her to be a help meet for the man..... However, because of the fall, sin came in.. and the desire for husband/man becomes the only occupation of woman. Having said all that, Jesus came and died for us and rose again..... the sins and the curses have been broken by the blood of Jesus.. The victory has already been won and we are to die to our fleshly desires which in this case, die to this desire of being so occupied about man.. and live to be after God and be a help meet for man!.. it is a very thin line thingy and yet there is the huge difference!..

So, my take is this.. this is an universal problem!...... this will always be a problem and issue for girls/women.... it is like the sinful nature, it is in-built because of the first fall of man. However, we already have the victory because we have Jesus!.... so, we just got to walk it victoriously!....... believing and claiming it!.. Often times, this point was missed; which is exactly what the evil ones want us to miss!.. We thought we still have to fight it and stuff.. but actually, it has already been won at the cross!.. we just got to believe in Jesus and walk with Him in victory!.. yippeee........ *wink*

That is about woman...... what about man? Man has his share too!.. which is in Genesis 3:17-19... three verses.. tripple of the one verse for woman.... That is something to reflect about, now, don't you think so? *pondering in the Lord*...

Loving peOpLe..

This phrase pops up in my mind today.. loving people.. especially when loving means, going the extra mile, causing inconvenience to self, etc.. and loving them for who they are, where they are at..

Sounds easy or looks easy but actually fact, it is not so when you get involved in lives.. when you get your hands dirty as it were.. Just purely for one good reason which is we are all made to be different, with different upbringings, different backgrounds, different experiences of life.. And because of that, we see things differently. The very thing I may find so easy to handle may be a very hard thing for another person.. and it just goes round and round.. and also because of this, lots of misunderstandings could take place, unknowingly sometimes, unfortunately.

Now then, with all this, how do we love? We could because of God's love and because of who He is.. and purely because He first love us that we could love Him back and we could love others.. Yet, there are choices because He loves us so much that He gives us choices.. Choices to love and not to love. The amazing thing is that everyone of us, deep down in our hearts just long to be loved. Whether we admit it or not, that is a different issue. We can't run away from the fact that we are made to be loved and to love. And every single person is entitled to be loved, no matter what situations and circumstances we are in..

However, in reality sense, alot of times, this is hard to comprehend especially with so much things going on in the world.. Where do we start? Dare we start? Dare we extend such love? Coz loving people also means risking ourselves to vulnerability.. means that the love may and could be rejected due to fear and many other reasons..

For me.. the key is looking to God.. be filled and overfilled with His Love and be bold to love others, not worry about the returns and trusting that God will take care of the returns.. God Himself will take care of the details.. I am praying that I would have His boldness and joy to love.. whoever He called me to love.... Is it that simple? Hmm.. I think so because having Him to walk with in life, makes things simple.. I have to admit that most times, things are made complicated with my own worries, doubts, sins... The amazing thing about God is that He still loves me, us.. no matter what.. and His Love is unconditional......

As John 3:16 - 17 says.. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved." May this truth sinks deep in our hearts everytime we read or hear it because God's Word is alive!.. *wink*

Having scribbled all the above doesn't mean that I am there.. I am no where near, mind you.. this is a lifelong journey of learning for me..... and it is just amazing to learn from the Lord.. if only I am willing.. and frankly, sometimes, I have been naughtily not willing for whatever reasons.. and yet, without fail, God would remind me again and again.. I wonder will He ever get tired of me? and so far, He still persists on.. for which I am forever thankful and grateful for. *grin*

Proverbs 15:13 says..

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance...

*wink*

Met with God..

I just wanna share this here today.. eventhough I couldn't share the full details here.. but God gave me a miracle last night.. it was so real and so amazing that I have no words to express it other than to praise God for His miracle.

I had two choices yesterday evening.. and I was contemplating..

• First, to go to St John despite of the heavy downpour of snow and no transport home after church..
• Second, to stay in the room because of the snow and no transport home after church..

And guess what I chose? the first.. I felt that I just had to be at St John last night despite of the weather.. and it was truly wonderful to be able to walk in the snow at night... with the snow once again falling on my face, hair, everywhere.. I love it.. strange but true..

Reaching the church, I was greeted with warmth and smiles.. it was just another service on a Sunday.. so I thought.. the worship was excellent.. the sharing and testimonies were thought-reminding.. and some were thought-provoking.. enjoyed kneeling down and having felt something worked in my little heart by God at that moment of kneeling down...

Then there was the altar call.. to come forward to receive freshness of God.. I thought to myself, "should I?".. I have been going forward many times and it has been wonderful and good and normal.. Was I being skeptical at that spur moment? hmm.. well, the next thought that came was "why not? what have I got to lose?".. and I did.. and there I stood in the front, being in the presence of God.. drinking in.. it was wonderful and good.. Then, for a moment, a little oddness or uncomfort trickled in but it was blown away by the wind.. Just felt that I needed to be there in the front.. I stood there for relatively a long time.. no one came to pray with me but that doesn't matter coz I could feel God's touch.. and since it was the end of the service and I had to go home via buses which is a long way, I went back to my seat.. I decided to linger around for a while, enjoying the music being played.. just soaking in..

While I was peacefully doing that, someone from the congregation came to me, spoke to me and said, "I felt you should not leave this place without being prayed for.." and invited me to the front again.. I was actually very moved by then.. and pleasantly surprised.. I know this is none other but God.. I went.. I waited for a while to be prayed for..

And, I was being prayed for by the vicar's wife who knows nothing about me at all.. and yet her prayer and her release of words was so so precise that I know this is definitely of God.. I cried.. I teared a little when I was on the buses home... and I am still crying even as I scribble here.. because God met me there last night and the feeling is beyond words described..

This awesome experience truly testifies God knows the deepest desires of my heart, our hearts.. It is in the midst of the ordinary that God chooses to appear and meet me, us.. because He loves us!.. and I just want to scribble that for me, I had my doubts and I (the mind) actually didn't really expect much from the service last night and thought it would be just another service but I believe my heart expected more.. and it was just amazing!.. I felt so light and uplifting as I left church last night.. it was a feeling like a little girl dancing in the snow in the night........ *wink*..

(Scribbler wanna believe God would use this scribbling to move and touch the very lives that He wants to touch; just as how she is being moved, zapped, touched out of her boots!)

words can mean alot to some and mean little to some

but I believe it is the Spirit of Living God undergirding the writing that touches lives..

"I Pray" (in mandarin)

I find this song truly touching.. it touched my heart this morning as I listened and was moved to tears a little...... it is just wonderful to be able to pray and know that our dear Lord is listening..

and He knows the depth of our hearts' cry.. *hugs*

Please continue to pray..

this drawing was done when I was cracking my head about writing!.. 6 numbers in 6 clouds signify 6 chapters..... hahahaha.. crazy but it is an interesting way of getting inspiration!.. :D

as I am nearing to the end of my dissertation which is due in mid-March 2009.. Got to write 6 chapters and I have done 25% writing so far. But the great news is that the data I need for this dissertation has been located and compiled (that is the hardest bit of work)... Praise God for it!.. *wink*

Do covet your prayers as I continue writing.... will start on the analysis of the data bit and more writing... oh yes.. my presentation of the dissertation research proposal is on 16th February with the dissertation research proposal submission on 20th February 2009...... I am almost half way through with the powerpoint slides..... Thank you guys.. love ya......... *wink*

Footprint.. a song in Cantonese..

I could only share the URL as the owner didn't share the other version in YouTube..

Click here

and it will bring you to the link.. :D

Do have a listen to it as it is really nice..... :D

Enjoy!...

Handprints!.. hehehe..

my handprint.. :D

both of my hands..... :D

Going abit over the top the past two days........ just a form to relax and to regain inspiration for my writing.. not here but academically.. I am discovering more and more of myself... and it is just amazing what could be found.. *wink*

Life is...

a

BIG PLAYGROUND...

where I play,

laugh,

dream,

jump,

skid,

love,

fall,

cry,

sit,

sleep,

sing,

dance,

crawl, .....

and the list goes on and on..

the author is the Big Guy above who loves me so so so much.. that words just couldn't express it.. you just got to experience His Love for yourself to know it deep in your heart.. *wink*

More photos.. :D

oops.. forgotten to put up the photos here.. hehehe.. here you are.. :D click on the blue links to my facebook albums... :D think there are five albums altogether...... :D

SEEDs CNY Dinner and Movie 29.01.09

Chocolate Craving Fulfilled on a Snowy Day.. 02.02.09

7th Bday Prezzie... 2009 on a month after my bday.. so delighted!

Cooking, Eating & Movie Session at ST John's CG.. 04.02.02 Part 1

Cooking, Eating & Movie Session at ST John's CG.. 04.02.02 Part 2

Why now?

The question that I have in my little brain is this.. why now? Why is it snowing now? as the many comments were it hasn't been snowing for ages and years.. and even if it did, it was not very heavy.. So, why now? why this moment? Hmm... ever thought of that? ever question it? I do!.. I did!..

Being a dreamer.. being a lover of fairytale... being a miracle looker/ expector.. maybe.. maybe.. it is a miracle answered prayer of a girl's little heart..... *wink*....

In a strange and loving way.. this stirs something deep in my little heart... it is like, hope and faith well up from within.. it is like, something is dancing inside.. little heart dancing? hmm.. picture that? I can.. coz I could really feel it.. *grin* Walking in the snow, with the snowing falling on my face was truly an amazing experience.. walking in the snow, playing with the snow with my feet and hands was amazing... feeling the breeze and freeze of the wind and snow was uplifting.. And I have one thing to say that is ..

"Thank You, Jesus.. Thank You, O LOrd...... Thank You for touching my little heart once again in such sweet and loving way.. "

muach!... *wink*..

Miracle of the Moment........

(Click here if the above is not working)

by Steven Curtis Chapman

It's time for letting go
All of our "if onlies"
Cause we don't have a time machine

And even if we did
Would we really want to use it
Would we really want to go change everything

Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

There's only One who knows
What's really out there waiting
And all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He's out there waiting
To Him the future's history

And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
Let them soften your heart

And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go
Let it go, yeah
You gotta let it go
And listen to your heartbeat

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

And breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There's a wonder in the here and now
It's right there in front of you
And I don't want you to miss the miracle of the moment

Another lovely song to embrace... and think of the words sung.. Embrace the miracle of the moment.. and it is NOW!.. *wink*...

seConD mOnTH of 2o09...

wow.. couldn't believe it but I have entered the 2nd month of 2009.. there is this mix feelings about it. Hmm.. how to explain? Somehow, when things are not certain, whether you like or not, some sort of uneasy feeling is naturally there. Here again, is the question of how deep is my trust in the Good Lord.. I think it tells about my faith in Him. It shows to what extend I could really trust Him that He is my provider and He is my guide.

At the age of 32, I am thankful that He is so real in my life even when He is silent sometimes. I am thankful that I have progressed on in Him and that I am not back to square one. I am thankful for the things that He has blessed me with and even the things He did not bless me with because He knows what I could take and what I couldn't. I am thankful that He knows me through and through.. I am thankful for all the loved ones and friends He has given me. I am thankful for His love, peace and joy.. I am thankful.. I am thankful... for simplicity of life with the little on the palm of my hands..

I am thankful for the little miracles He has given me, I know them deep in my heart.. I am thankful that I am not perfect so that I could truly learn to know Him.. to know His heart.. to know what moves Him.. There are just so much to be thankful for.. if only, we pause and take stock of them.. if only, we choose to look at them closely.. if only, we are not busy getting busy.. Loving life as how God leads and blesses is just an amazing journey.. living a full life is to love God and to love life and to love the people.. *wink*

Mega SNOW...

Snow everywhere.. just couldn't believe it... falling everywhere.. like little snowy says.. "I am falling.. I am falling.." hehehehe.. well, this is England then.. *wink*.. I wonder, should I take more photos? Hmm.. lazy oh.. hehehe...... and they say it is going to snow more in the coming days.. wow.. I wonder why..

Snow makes me feel like in a fairytale land.. makes me feel more like a real little princess..

Wonder in the midst of all these, would miracles take place?

I am looking forward to seeing God's miracles in my life!.. He gave me many and I know He will give me more as I have faith and trust in Him. *wink*...

How?..

This thought came to me this morning.. as I reflect about stuff, the usual thing that I would be doing.. How what? well.. how to share with others about the many truths of life that God has revealed to me? How to share them effectively? In what measures am I to share that others would comprehend them? Conclusion is that I am an instrument that God uses.. I speak.. and God will speak to their hearts.. God would do the touching bit. I just be where He wants me to be and speak the very things that I am to share and speak.. whether it could be understood, with all the limitations and weaknesses I have, God will take care of that. It is not for me to worry or be concerned of. God is more interested about these truths being received in the lives of many than me because He loves them lots!.. So, it is really not about "how".. God will take care of the "how".. It is really about "am I willing to be used?"... "am I heeding God's guidance?"

Hmm... this really makes sense.. and I am glad that I have scribbled that today, at this hour..

And you know what, there are many stuff that I want to share and share.. but whether they are to be said or not, I have to consult God.. He would guide my steps.. He would guide my words.. God knows the right timing to share about these things.. So, what am I to do with them at the time being? I thought of just one thing and that is to continue to pray.. to keep these things in my heart and to pray, to intercede.. This comes to the heart of humility, to wait upon God for the timing and the people to share.. I feel it is the test of humility at the core of it.. coz, when I think I know certain things, I have to share it so that others would know how much I know.. what is the intention at the back of it? It is something which is subtle and yet, if not careful, pride would come.. humility would be thrown out of the window..

A constant check of the heart is very important.. that is my view of it...... coz we never know where it has gone to.. Do not be puffed up with knowledge.. think that was said in the bible somewhere... hmm.... Ya, think that is the message today... *wink*.....

It just dawned...

Hmm.. wonder this is a good thing or not.. After going for dinner last night with a group of new people, not sure why but somehow it just dawned to me that "oh gosh.. I am surrounded by real young people, age wise"... What a time to be feeling this? So strange feeling I suddenly felt at the spur moment. It was like.. "hmm.. am I in the right time zone...?"; "Am I in twilight?".. I also realised that these days, people at the age of 22 are already doing masters degree.. gosh.. why the rush? or is it part of the culture these days? Hmm..

Looks like the thinking cap is on as I think about these stuff.. fascinating stuff and it just amazes me to observe these.. Hmm.. I wonder what is the stir of the heart? What is God saying here as I think about these thoughts? What is He telling me? What am I to response?

Being profoundly young in the heart is a wonderful thing indeed.. All things happen in the Lord's timing.. It is exciting to see how God turns things around.. How things are being viewed from outside.. I also feel that my life is being turned upside down.. I am like, living life in the opposite direction... Never thought of it that way but know what? think that is the right phrase to call it....

Living a full life...... Am I living that at this current moment? What is a full life? I have been asking the question and I have sort of concluded that, life means people.. people's lives.. Whose lives am I touching, blessing and encouraging? what is full? Not empty.. means actively filling up.. What about career? what about future prospects? What about successes in the eyes of the world? God says to seek first His Kingdom & His righteousness and these things will be added to you....... (Mt 6:33)..

Know what? trusting the Lord is the best thing that ever happens in my life.. Not only trusting God as a head knowledge but to be able to trust Him in my heart, the deepest sense of my heart.. I am not there yet but the journey has begun or at least I am more and more aware of it.. I don't think I would ever comprehend the full measure of it. It is a life long journey as He teaches me, guides me; lovingly and patiently.. That is the awesomeness of our God Almighty.. I have many more years ahead..... O Lord, use me.. use all of me, whatever that is there, for the extension of Your Kingdom.. that others may see You.. that others may see Your Glory..

yes.. think this scribbling has its purpose.. May it encourages and blesses anyone who read it...... I like fairy tales and I am a dreamer who dreams on.... *wink*

Jesus, All For Jesus...

Sang this song in church yesterday and I thought.. I just want to bless everyone with it.. as we take time to reflect.. are our lives lived out all for Jesus? Something to think about.. :D Lyrics as follows as we meditate on the words..

Jesus, all for Jesus

All I am and have

And ever hope to be

Jesus, all for Jesus

All I am and have

And ever hope to be

All of my

Ambitions, hopes, and plans

I surrender these

Into your hands

All of my

Ambitions, hopes, and plans

I surrender these

Into your hands

For it's only in

Your will that I am free

For it's only in

Your will that I am free

Written by:
Jennifer Atkinson & Robin Mark

© 1991 Word's Spirit of Praise Music