a dash.......

why a dash? hehe..... just trying to get my dissertation done up to the best I could a week before the dateline and therefore, this scribbling is a dash!.. hehehe....... I do kind like the adrenaline rush though..... so odd.... yohoo...... it gives that kind of kick!..

well... I am currently in the university on a sunday...... but kinda like it here on a sunday where there is peace and quiet.... and I am beginning to be much more aware of the things that makes me tick, so to speak..... it may well be God's gifts for me... the stuff I enjoy doing.. the stuff that comes so natural for me...... it is exciting!.. and I do look forward to see where all these would bring me as I seek His face....... as I sit at His feet.... as I wait upon Him......

well..... this is a short break and it is time for me to continue on with my work and get all the analysis of data done before 4pm today!..... and then off to the next final bit....... to write them down......... pray pray for me, ya........ muach! *wink*

a "privilege instrument" of God...

This phrase stayed in my head since I wrote that email recently, requesting for prayers from friends... and I thought I just want to scribble here about it..... In my recent email, I wrote to request for a prayer from friends whom I know are remembering me in prayers.. and I just felt right to cut and paste the bits that I have written in the email here...

"I believe in working in team and that every preparation when seasoned in prayers unto the Lord is powerful because God is at work.. It is His ministry and it is He who does the touching and impacting.. I am just a "privilege instrument" that He chooses to use.. *wink*.... thanks guys for the partnership in prayers.. :D Frankly, I am excited to see what God is doing and will do!... "

It is such a blessing to be able to be used by God in whatever and every capacity.. I recognise it so much at this hour.. and I just want to fully receive this truth in my heart.. coz I also recognise that I am a forgetful person.. believe it or not, but humans tend to be very forgetful and tend to get carried away with own things and forgotten about God.. What a danger, isn't it? I think it is.....

I am praying.... about many things...... about many people.... for many people..... O Lord.. only He knows the deepest needs of people.. the deepest core and desires.. and every prayer that goes out, they are important.. it could just be "it" that turns someone's life towards God in a wonderful close way.. We never know how God works in lives.. yet, we have the choice to be intentional... and this day, I pray that all my friends, my loved ones would be intentional in their lives.. intentional to speak encouragement, to show love and everything that is needful for someone as the Lord leads... *wink*

Final Lap.......

so.. got to work much harder....... that is my aim for the coming weeks till 20 April 2009...... the day when the dissertation work is submitted and mark the closing of Uni work..... and mark the journey of "what next?".......

Do remember me in prayers when you read this scribbling... I would try to scribble during time out, getting a breather...... and scribbling here is my way of taking a breather...... *wink*.........

First morning in new place..

yup.. my first morning in my new room.. new view... Loving it.... and sunshine with cool air...... what more could I ask for? heheheh..

I have also taken some photos of the move too....... So exciting.. and a wonderful meal I had last night.. a birthday-do for one of my housemates... I have three housemates (Betty & Alex and Mark)..... wonderful people.... :D

• Moving to Harborne.. yippee.. 14.03.09
• Bday do for Alex 14.03.09
• My 1st morning in Harborne.. 15.03.09

Enjoy as I enjoy my new place... new environment.. *wink*......

Me! Me!....

a portrait of me.. *wink*.......

Not that I have lots of time and yet I just need an avenue to go "crazy"..

and bloggie is my form of release...... woo-hoo....

the move.....

yup.. tomorrow, it is another move for me.. moving from uni accommodation to a house in Harborne.. Couldn't believe my eyes that it is here and I am moving.. Didn't feel that I am ready to move yet, actually.. hmm.. yet, it is time.. and the timeliness of things just amazes me.. well, that's for me to understand deep down.. the timeliness of God... *wink*..

How do I share these thoughts here? thoughts that are deep inter-twined in my little brain... thoughts that have long links, all connected.. think my story would be a long one.. one with many faces.. one with many insights.. How? How to share about these? How would I express these to encourage others.. to leave a marker for others to learn.. Only the Good Lord is able to give me such wisdom and insights to know how in the days to come.. I know He would guide me.. and in His timing, I would know exactly what to do..

Sometimes or rather lots of times, I would wonder why people do what they do.. I still have that question.. and in the past, I thought I was too afraid to try new things but yet, actually I did try new things.. I did do stuff that others would not do.. Somehow it is just so in-built in me that I didn't recognise it.. maybe it is too natural that I didn't realise it? or maybe I was looking at others too much for comparison that I forgot to appreciate the very things God has blessed me with? Ya.. I think that would be it.. and I am glad, real glad that I discover that truth the past one year.. So glad that God has revealed that to me.. so thankful..

well, coming back to the move.. all my belongings.. and I still haven't finished writing for my dissertation.. hmm.. oh dear.. nevertheless, I try my very best.. and trust that it would be done in God's timing as I learn different lessons while trying to write this dissertation.. Do remember me in prayer.. Need that lots.. :D

Looking forward to the move.. looking forward to have new housemates.. to learn from one another.. and to have a different angle of life in UK.. yup.. it would be different.. I could feel it.. or is it just plain simple to catch it?

I am excited and yet wonder... looking forward and yet curious... thankful for the timeliness and yet ask the question "why so soon?"... Am I contradicting myself? Am I making myself more confused? Well.. I am just plainly pouring out my feelings.. coz these are my feelings.. these are thoughts and questions that run through my mind.. welll......... this is Vivien Keu for you..... *wink*

Thank You O Lord...

Just want to scribble this......

Thank You... O LORD........... for the Cross and the Resurrection..

Thank You O Lord for Your LOVE..

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,...." Ephesians 3:20

I know You will, O Lord... *smile*

Thank You...

Worth waiting for...

What is? What am I trying to scribble here? well.. that is the title of the recent conference that I attended.. and it was a really interesting conference (photos here) and great time to be able to hear many testimonies of God's goodness and God at work in different parts of the world.. so encouraging and so uplifting.. I was truly blessed! :)

And one of the main speakers spoke on the whole of Habakkuk.. He expounded it with such great insights that truly spoke a great deal to me... How could I scribble it here? How could I share what spoke to me? hmm.. perhaps the summary... as to how Habakkuk turned from being a complainer to a joy expressor regardless of the change of circumstances.. by recalling what God has done... and knowing that He would do them again!.. and for us, by recalling what was done at the cross and know that we could trust Him.. Because of the cross and the resurrection, we could be going through tough stuff in life and yet be joyful in Him.. sorrowful yet rejoicing simultaneously.. amazing isn't it? It is possible because of the cross and resurrection!.. Victory is real and it is done. :)

And one important lesson to learn from Habakkuk is that he was being very honest and truthful with God about the current situation and his own feelings. He didn't hide them from God.. He didn't pretend that all is well... He was just being real with God.. and this is how we should response too.. to be with real with God about our situations.. and trust God.. let God takes us on the journey from "fear" to "faith".......

Amazing truth, isn't it? Well.. to me, it is..... hehe.. and because of this truth deeply planted in my heart as I reflected upon it, God has moved in my heart to do something brave.. something which I know I would not do on my own accord.. unless it is inspired by God.. As I truly start to look beyond my own experiences with God (the small piece of the canvas) and towards the Cross and Resurrection (the big canvas), something stirred deep in my heart... that is the crucial point.. I personally believed .. and know what is the key? it is about living by Faith in God all the way......... and able to withstand whatever that is ahead of us..... *wink*

Free-will?

This word came up last night at a bible study... and it stayed with me.. and the questions that I have are these.. "Do we really want free-will?"; "Do we know how to handle it?"... ; "Do we truly know what are good for us and what are not?"..

I guess, as human beings, we longed to be free.. longed to do many things.... longed and longed.. desires after desires... that is how God wires us to be.. We are created in His own Image.. (Gen 1:27) Hmm.. I am not sure where this scribbling would lead me but somehow.. in my own tiny experiences of life, I have sort of concluded that it is best to be in the will of God than to handle life on my own.. I would rather have God handling my life than I.. because I do not know what the future holds for me.. God knows.. and He would be the best person to know what is best for me.. I have tried numerous times to handle life on my own, relying on my own strength and it ended up in a mess.. a mess that only God could clean up and restore.. and exactly that was what He did.

Frankly, my opinion is that a lot of times, we do not know what we are asking.. and what we really want in life.. or what is good for us.. that is how crazy it can be.. as the cliche goes, "Been there, done all those tryings and gotten bruises and cuts all over"..... and conclusion is still, to trust God and stay real close to Him.. Well, that is for me.. not speaking for others.. that is my choice of life; to try my very best to trust God and to look at areas of distrust and know that God is teaching me how to unravel them and turn them to trust... deeper trust in Him.. I still can be free and being free in God is such a sweet sweet freedom... knowing that He is watching over me..

God in His gentle ways would never shovel down our throats the things we are uncomfortable with.. He has His ways of bringing us to that point where we would be comfortable about them and being more assured in Him.. At the end of it all, the final destination is not the crucial crunch.. but the journey towards it, is... the process we go through to arrive to a point of life..

And I just want to end by sharing Psalm 119:105 that says..

"The Lord's Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.." Going back to His Word.. going back to spending time with the Lord.. that is the key to freedom.... *wink*

Sweetly Loved!..

Ya.. was immensely loved yesterday evening..... to hear others are sharing the pain I am going through.. that makes the pain light.. :) and the sweet card with the messages and chocolates they gave me.... it just added the warmth to my heart...... God is amazing, to shower His Love through people.. and even as I ponder about it, I remembered clearly there was a time where people were sharing my tough pain in prayers, in tears and in persons.... This is the body of Christ where we are there for one another, loving and encouraging one another, to press on.. to journey together on this path of life...... sharing the joy and the pain.. It comes in the package.... *wink*

I was blessedly and sweetly surprised......

1st fall in UK... oops..

Clumsy me, I fell flat last night literally on the street... sigh.. bruises and swelling on both knee caps.. and a little on the palm of hands.. and aching all over today.. with my little brain shaken due to the fall... still feeling a little wobbly...... limping a little due to the pain on the knees... but thank God no open wounds or twisted knee or whatever.. so don't worry when you read this...

My little fall could lead to so many things as mentioned above.. what happen if a person who fell from high places.. ? that stirs up a thought within me.. wow.. with this little fall, I am already feeling wobbly... just imagine those with head concussion? hmm.. interesting to reflect on this..

When I fell last night, I was like.. "oopss.... oh no..." I realized that my physical body suffering from the shock of the fall and yet I was still on my way to my destinations, doing the stuff I needed to do.. After completing all of them and as I was on the bus home, only then I could feel the shock.. it was like both of my legs were wobbly.. brain floaty.. and of course, my normal self would be to yearn for attention... hehehe..... tat's just me.. a pampered girl especially when I am sick or unwell.... or after incidents like this....

Well.. hope the swelling and pain would go away quickly.. That's my prayer..... :)

Again, how?

This question has been looming in my mind.. There are much that I want to act or say especially when I see something in people's lives and yet, I do not know "how".. What is God's way in this? Why the knowledge when I could not do anything about? Hmm.. The only thing I could do is to pray.. Is that all that I am to do? I wonder? Maybe.. and if God wants me to do more than that, He would provide the way.. He would provide the opportunity..

*lightbulb on!*.. Yup.. that is it!.. So delightful to be able to draw to this conclusion.. and scribbling helps me.. because, I believe that as people read my scribblings, they are remembering me in prayers too.. Prayer is a powerful tool that God has given us.. And I really have nothing to hide and aiming to lead a transparent life.. one that is pleasing to Him..

Of course, there are comments of privacy and people may misuse the information.. Hmm.. this blog is birthed from pain that turned to joy... And, I know God has an eye on me and as Psalm 17: 8 -9 say.. "God is keeping me as apple of His eye, He is hiding me under the shadow of His wings, from the wicked who oppressed me, from my deadly enemies who surround me." When God is with and for me, who can be against me? Whoever is against me, they have to answer to God... *scribbler rests assured in her Almighty God who loves her so much*

Secrets...

The intricacy of human hearts and minds just amazed me. Have been observing my own self as well as the people around me.. I am just mystified by the observations and asking the Lord what does all these mean? Of course, it is no secret to say that everyone has secrets.. whether big or small; important or non-important, it is of different issue.

However, I believe that God in His special ways reveal some of them when it is needed to be known.. I find that true as I have experienced them before. Just that sometimes, I am not that discernful enough to catch them sometimes due to own pre-occupation, unfortunately. Yet, I am learning and I could only say that it is by the Grace of God. Thank God that He is not one who punishes for mistakes but He is one who still loves me and encourages me to try again. These mistakes are within His calculations, so to speak. He knows that I would make them again and again until one day it is settled.

I thought I caught something last night at this party.. I am still bewildered by it.. and still not able to put a finger on the actual point.. it is somewhere around that part.. Hmm.. The Lord in His time will make it clear, I truly believe.. *grin*.. and whatever it may be, I desire thoughts that God is Love and because of His Love, He is keeping close eye on me.. and I have nothing to fear and be intimidated of.. *wink*

My name..

hehehe........ thought this is a nice shot.. with nice handwriting..

My name called in short and by friends.... *grin*