Yup.. the title said it all... I am not scribbling it because I am so easily moved to tears these days.. but I find that there is a deep sense of truth in it.. otherwise, why do tears exist? Why do we have tears? There must be a reason why tears exist... why God gives us tears... ? mm.. because it is good for our soul and our heart..
Funny isn't it but it was true that I used to be very ashamed of crying.. I would think to myself, "Why cry?"... How wrong I was. What a wrong perspective that I had then... and I thank God that I didn't have to wait till I am super old to realise this wrong perspective..
Honestly speaking, there are many moments where I would cry and sometimes, would tear a little.. However, it feels good to be able to do that freely these days. "No shame".. Just the good sense of release... a good sense of relief... I still find this facinating to be able to do that... and I could just laugh over it as I scribble away.. "Be real with emotions.." mm... cool phrase! I like it. All this are possible because the Lord God Almighty has broken my heart of stone and turned it to heart of flesh... a heart so soft and yet strong in the Lord.. Now, that is the difference.. a difference that only a few could understand...
Of course, this is rather rare to be spoken of especially in a culture where it is ingrained that it is weak to cry.. shouldn't cry, must be strong.. mmm...... Yet, if the heart is hurting, why not let it cry then? It makes lots of sense to cry, to release.. to be strong at the wrong time would only make things worse in the long run.. and eventually, it would be spilled out somewhere.. and that would be scary.. I learnt that in Elijah House Malaysia. Amazing truths revealed in the Word of God as we study His Word even more intensely. In the midst of crying, we can be strong in the Lord.. and the Lord would just amazingly love us where we are... His heart that is reaching out would be able to reach our hearts... If there is the hardening of heart where no crying is allowed, His heart is not able to reach the heart though He longs to...
Well..... I can scribble what I like... coz afterall, this is a place where I could express my heart... hehehe.. the beauty of blogging.. and I have that deep sense of knowing that the Lord is guiding each scribble that I scribble... as I avail myself, my life for Him to break.. like that one loaf.. to be broken to many and to feed many.. as many as the Lord wills it to be...... Oh Yes Lord.. Your Will be done!
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