Explosion of colours..

This is going on in my mind this morning.. My dream home would be filled with colours.. loads of cushions and colours.. Lord, please prepare this home as I scribble on.. You know the location of this home that I dream of.. Please guide me step by step.. and when the day comes, I would know which house and where it is.. I also pray for the surrounding.. the neighbours that I am going to have.. Lord, You know the details that needs to be covered.. I pray that this home will be a home of peace where people would want to come for refuge and time with You in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life.. 

I have thought of a name for my new home.. 

仁愛喜乐和平的家

(the home of love, joy & peace)

Lord, I commit this to You.. and trust that You know the best for me..  whether how big it would be, my neighbours, the location that is safe, the financial side of things and everything else..

Thank You Lord Jesus.. *beam*

He continues to amaze me..

I just want to scribble that Heavenly Daddy is continuing to amaze me in many ways.. His eye for details in my life is just super amazing and cool. What else could I say other than I am super blessed and loved by Him.

Regardless of what people in the world may say of me, I am worthy before Him for I am His. He made me as who I am.. the unusual & extraordinary Vivien Keu Lian Sze!.. Every move I am taking, I pray that He will guide me.. even the words that I am going to speak, He will guide me.. More so especially, I have gone through death (in a different kind) and was resurrected by him. If this life is no longer mine to keep, why would it bother me what people say of me and of my actions and words? It shouldn't bother me, really.. Interesting thoughts..

I have this big suspicion that dear Daddy has something big up His sleeves.. I am feeling excited even the thought of it.. it is like a child skipping within me... and the beautiful thing is He wants me to dream BIG!

I think I should list down stuff in my sketch book... and see things unfold before my eyes by Him.. O Lord.. after the disappointment, I am actually surprised that the hope came leaping back so quickly! It is like, You have given me a fresh new HOPE to dream... Lord, Thank You.. Only You could do that in me.. No one else.. *beam*

You're Beautiful...

"You're Beautiful"

I see Your face in every sunrise

The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes

The world awakens in the light of the day

I look up to the sky and say

You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night

Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright

We are amazed in the light of the stars

It's all proclaiming who You are

You're beautiful

I see You there hanging on a tree

You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me

Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne

Soon we will be coming home

You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore

Where death is just a memory and tears are no more

We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring

Your bride will come together and we'll sing

You're beautiful

I see Your face, I see Your face

I see Your face, You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

Light shining through..

Interesting image with the quote of Corrie Ten Boom.. :)

what am I doing here?

At this juncture of my life; being back in my homeland.. asking myself this question and asking God the question too..

What am I doing here?

This question popped up as I am reading this book titled "Joni&Ken - An Untold Love story". Ken Tada asked that question when he was in Romania on Joni's speaking engagement trip to experience for himself what it would be like. God spoke to him there and then.. and one phrase that caught my eye was "It is NOT about you".

I kinda knew that for a good number of years now.. that, it is Not about me. It is about Him and His purpose for me. However, this time as I reflect, somehow, there is a different light to it.

Even as I scribble on, I remember a recent chat that I had. This girl asked me, "why have you decided to come back?".. with the tone seemingly indicating that it is a wrong move to come back.  Am I being too sensitive about it or was I right to catch the tone? Hmm.. it was a very interesting chat. I knew it is time to be back.. and so far, that is all I know but how do you share that with another person?.. I know in the days to come, looking back with hindsight, I would understand a little bit more of the why.

God works in mysterious ways and He always succeeds in surprising me out of my boots! I am waiting in anticipation and hope for He knows my heart's desires deep down.. while being contented where I am now.. enjoying being home.. reading.. spending time with mom.. seeing friends.. *smile*

(took this picture via google images)

Trusting Him as I journey on with Him and with the many friends He has blessed me with. :)

I am a child of God... :)

Reading from My Utmost for His Highest.... :)

Christ-Awareness

08

20

2013

. . . and I will give you rest —Matthew 11:28

Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, “Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already.” Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute.

A complete life is the life of a child. When I am fully conscious of my awareness of Christ, there is something wrong. It is the sick person who really knows what health is. A child of God is not aware of the will of God because he is the will of God. When we have deviated even slightly from the will of God, we begin to ask, “Lord, what is your will?” A child of God never prays to be made aware of the fact that God answers prayer, because he is so restfully certain that God always answers prayer.

If we try to overcome our self-awareness through any of our own commonsense methods, we will only serve to strengthen our self-awareness tremendously. Jesus says, “Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest,” that is, Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest— the rest of the completion of activity in our lives that is never aware of itself.

***

Then, the reading from the Vine today talks about the similar things.. so cool...

Wednesday, August 21st

Here's Today's Devotional from The Vine...

Make Me Clean

Jesus called a little child to himself, and set him in the midst of them. -Matthew 18:2

The child preached the sermon. It said to those ambitious disciples, “Shame on all you quarreling about prominence and high places. Look at me. I am much higher up in the kingdom of heaven than you. You must get clear of all your proud thoughts and become humble and simple-minded and childlike, or in the new kingdom you will have no place at all, much less a high place.” Little children are all preaching sermons to us, if only we have ears to hear. In their innocence, simplicity, and nature, children exert an influence upon other lives which no words can describe. They are at once the greatest preachers and themselves the most eloquent sermons.

This picture of Jesus with the little one in His arms is very beautiful. In all the Bible there is scarcely another which so well represents the attitude both of the soul and of the Savior in salvation and in all Christian life. Jesus takes the child in His arms: there is love, tenderness, protection. Close to Jesus we find the place of warmth, affection, intimacy, and confidence. The encircling arms imply safety, support, shelter. He lifted up the child and held it in His arms; so He carries His people through this world. He does not merely tell them how to go, but He takes them on His shoulders, carrying not only their burdens, but themselves. In this way He bears them on through life and through death.

Look at the picture another way - the child in the Savior's arms. Its attitude speaks of trust, confidence, repose, peace, love, and joy -- just the feelings which belong to the true Christian. What safety we find when we're close to Christ in danger, storm, sorrow, and even death! We need to learn to nestle in our Savior's arms in all the experiences of life!

***

God is so good to me!.. reminding me about trusting Him like a child trusts her father.. *beam* and recently, a dear friend sent me a picture of a father playing with his daughter which reminds me of how Heavenly Daddy playing with me! wheeeeee!.. :)

Downloaded the picture below from the week website..

Sweet... :)

God moves in a mysterious way..

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea

And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines

Of never failing skill

He treasures up His bright designs

And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;

The clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break

In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust Him for His grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,

Unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste,

But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err

And scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter,

And He will make it plain.

by William Cowper

The first verse of this hymn was given to me during the prayer time at Cgroup on 31st July 2013 by Adrian. I could identify with it very much.. in fact, with the whole of the hymn.. The Lord is good, isn't He? :)

Awesome gift of God..

yes, Peace.. His Peace is such an awesome gift from Him. I love the above image I googled; explaining PEACE.. in the way how I felt on 8th August 2013 afternoon when that face to face moment happened.

Even as I scribble here, I couldn't believe that it happened. God did tell me that it would take place; an upfront face to face moment in a shopping mall. Lo and behold, it actually did! exactly the way how He told me it would be. However, He gave me more surprises; He arranged in such a way that I was with a very dear friend (who felt led to meet me that day! and told me from the moment we met that she didn't understand why but God told her to meet me!) and the peace that I have from Him was so amazing.. It happened rather quickly where greetings were exchanged and few words were spoken. I will always remember that moment of time when we walked away, I was filled with much peace and grace welling up within me; enveloping me; walking away with my head lifted high.

That reminds me of the Glorious Ruins song by Hillsong. :)

During the past 6 years, sometimes, I did wonder what would it be like to have that face to face moment with this person whom I do not wish to see face to face; yet I do know in my heart that God would want me to face the moment when the right time comes. Well, what else could I say other than God knows.. and He prepares.. He blesses.. It's way beyond awesome, the way how He orchestrated it. *beaming*

A finale that was prepared by Him immeasurably more than I have ever expected, really. Thank You Dear Heavenly Daddy.

Mystery Will of God..

He calls me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find Him in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon His Name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in His Embrace
For I am His and He is mine

His Grace abounds in deepest waters
His Sovereign Hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
He has never failed and He won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever He would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

(Oceans - where feet may fail by Hillsong United) Revised version of words from 'You' to 'He'..

Praising my Savior all the day long...

Heavenly Daddy gives me my story, and my song... and think the hymn below just say it so beautifully... "Blessed Assurance" by Frances J. Crosby; and I particularly love the third verse... so beautiful to be filled with His Goodness, lost in His Love.. watching and waiting; looking above... I think I could do that for the rest of my life.......

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation, purchase of God,

Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long;

This is my story, this is my song,

Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,

Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;

Angels, descending, bring from above

Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,

I in my Savior am happy and blest,

Watching and waiting, looking above,

Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

I feel torn apart..

It is strange.. Why am I feeling so torn apart?
and it is really a strong feeling.. being torn apart.

Lord, what are You saying here?
What does it mean?
What am I to do?

The only thing I could do is to pray through and into..

And, I guess, having this feeling means that
I have truly enjoyed what I have been doing..
and yet, it is time to go.. or is it?
I think it is as I felt really right to go back.

And, I know the Lord has mercy and
He will lead and guide me..
I need to trust Him with all that He has given me.

Lead us Lord...

The Lord spoke through this song today... :)

Here we stand
At a crossroads again

Like you said

In time the seasons change

Looking back

We recall the blessing and the pain

But now we turn our hearts toward

What is still to come

We want to dream again

Lead us Lord

Into a life of fruitfulness

Prepare our hearts to risk again

As we trust

Taking simple steps of obedience we know

That you will lead us Lord

by Brian Doerksen

A Miracle please..

Just felt today that I need a miracle from God.. The sense of it is so strong that is beyond me..

"Dear God, could I have a Miracle from You, please? :)"

This devotion reading just hit home for me.. home-run, in fact as I think about the timing of when to say things and when not to say things.. especially things that would rock the boat, as it were.. things that people may not like to hear.. in fact, things that I would not like to hear myself and yet they are needful.. I am thankful that God has placed people in my life; to be able to speak truth honestly and constructively with lots of love and care into my life.

And, it is a skill to be learnt and honed all the days of my life.. As it is said in the reading, we should always wait for God and not run ahead of God.. This applies in all the things that I do.. the words that I will speak and the actions that I will take.. especially in desperate times.. Think this is where I am reminded of what King Solomon asked of the Lord.. for Wisdom of God instead of anything else.. Wisdom of the Lord. 

Saturday, March 2nd

Here's Today's Devotional from The Vine...

The Lord's Time

Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with you and me? My hour has not yet come." - John 2:4

He meant that His time for beginning to work miracles had not yet come. With all divine power slumbering in His hands, He would do nothing at any bidding but His Father's. Even His human mother's request He could not in this matter regard.

One thought here is our Lord's perfect devotion to His Father's will. We find the same all through His life. He did nothing of Himself. He took His work moment by moment from His Father's hand. He waited always for His “hour.” He had no plans of His own, but followed the Divine purpose in all His acts. All those early years at Nazareth, with omnipotence in His arm, He wrought no miracle. Even now, though appealed to by His mother whom He so deeply loved, He would not do anything even one minute before His hour came.

The practical lesson for us here is devotion to God's will. We should always wait for God. Too many of us run before we are sent. In our zeal for God's cause and kingdom we do not wait for Divine direction. We speak words out of season which, despite their earnestness and sincerity, do harm rather than good. We try to feed others with unripe fruits. We address men before they are prepared to hear, and ofttimes in words that drive them beyond our reach. We hurry out to preach when we ought ourselves to be sitting quietly at our Master's feet as learners.

The most common fault among Christians is that they are too slow in doing Christ's work and in heeding His calls; but it is a fault also to go too fast for God, to go before He sends us. With all warm love for Christ we must learn to wait for Him, to wait till our hour is come. He must prepare us for the work before we are ready to do it, and then He must prepare the work for our hand. In Christian work we need patience and self-restraint as well as zeal and earnestness.

Deep Things...

I am so blessed and encouraged as I read today's daily manna.. Father God always knows exactly what would speak to my heart at the exact time.. :D He loves me very much!.. And, I want to share it with everyone too!.. :)

February 4, 2013
Deep Things
          By OS Hillman
He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light.Job 12:22

One of the great mysteries of the Kingdom is how God uses the darkest times in our lives to reveal greater depths of understanding of His ways. The only way we can receive these deeper things is to be driven to the depths of darkness. It is here that we discover important truths that He plans to use in our lives and the lives of others.

There is a process God uses to draw us into greater levels of intimacy. The first phase involves a depth of soul experience that causes great pain in our lives. We seek God for deliverance from the incredible emotional pain this causes. Our primary motivation for seeking God is to get out of our pain.

During this time, God meets us in the depths of darkness. We discover that He never left us but is in the midst of the darkness. We develop a new relationship with God. Gradually our motivation turns from removal of pain to love and intimacy with God. This is the place our Heavenly Father desires us to be.

During this season God will make spiritual deposits into your life. Others will be making withdrawals in the future from your life as well. You see, God reveals deep things in darkness that will be revealed in the light.

If you find yourself in great distress, know that God will bring your deep shadows into the light. The key to your deliverance is becoming satisfied in God. He becomes your all. He is your life. You will know your deliverance is near when your circumstances simply don't matter to you anymore.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul and see what things He will show you in the deep things of darkness.

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

Remember...

I was reminded in my CWR weekend to remember.. How timely that was. To remember..

His Goodness..

His Provision...

His Timing..

His Love...

 

It is rather easy to forget yet He always calls us to remember.. And, even as I think about the impossibilities of things that are swimming in my head, I remember about His possibilities and how He turns things around.. He had done them and He will do them again in His Time. *grin*

 

Exciting times!.. :)

Boink!

Just reflecting back about the weekend.. and felt really pleased with the progress.. and surprised by confidence that He has given me without me realising it till there and then. And, that is so lovely.. To be surprised by Him once and again..

 

I just wonder.. even as I think about what is to come.. I really do not know what would entails but yet, again.. that word "trust".. :)

Who am I?

As I am thinking about the essay assignment on me.. I am asking the question of "who am I" Do I really know who am I? or just partially? Who does know me? I know God does, through and through.. and my parents, a little bit more than myself..

 

Do I know myself? Do I understand the things that I do or decide to do? Do I need to justify myself? As I ask these questions, it can be rather confusing! or is it not? Hmm..

 

I guess, since 2008, I have kinda think my life is really not mine anymore.. I felt I was dead and He resurrected me spiritually.. as it was He who have turned my life around.. from that traumatic experience..

 

Well.. 2013 will be an interest one as I head back to Malaysia for good.. I don't quite know for sure what to think or feel.. I don't know what I would be doing.. where I would be living.. and what does it mean to be living back home? It just isn't clear in my brain at the moment.. All I know is that it is time to leave and be back.. The details of the move back just isn't as clear as I would like it to be.. Hmm.. more to pray into.. trusting Him that He will show me.. in His right time..

 

The Lord reminded me this morning to be me.. just be myself and trust Him.. It is comforting and assuring to be reminded as such. He does loves me lots!.. Yippee..

Really? Truly?

Just been thinking and reflecting.. What is truly.. and what is really? in life.. Thinking of people that I have met.. People that I have gotten to know a little.. and a little more.. and vice versa.. Thinking of all these individuals that God has put into my life.. Each one is special and uniquely amazing to me in my life.. Basically, it is like cooking a nice yummy dish.. the salt, sugar, etc.. and God is the cook and chef.

What truly matters? That is the question in my head.. hmm...