Deep Things...

I am so blessed and encouraged as I read today's daily manna.. Father God always knows exactly what would speak to my heart at the exact time.. :D He loves me very much!.. And, I want to share it with everyone too!.. :)

February 4, 2013
Deep Things
          By OS Hillman
He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light.Job 12:22

One of the great mysteries of the Kingdom is how God uses the darkest times in our lives to reveal greater depths of understanding of His ways. The only way we can receive these deeper things is to be driven to the depths of darkness. It is here that we discover important truths that He plans to use in our lives and the lives of others.

There is a process God uses to draw us into greater levels of intimacy. The first phase involves a depth of soul experience that causes great pain in our lives. We seek God for deliverance from the incredible emotional pain this causes. Our primary motivation for seeking God is to get out of our pain.

During this time, God meets us in the depths of darkness. We discover that He never left us but is in the midst of the darkness. We develop a new relationship with God. Gradually our motivation turns from removal of pain to love and intimacy with God. This is the place our Heavenly Father desires us to be.

During this season God will make spiritual deposits into your life. Others will be making withdrawals in the future from your life as well. You see, God reveals deep things in darkness that will be revealed in the light.

If you find yourself in great distress, know that God will bring your deep shadows into the light. The key to your deliverance is becoming satisfied in God. He becomes your all. He is your life. You will know your deliverance is near when your circumstances simply don't matter to you anymore.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul and see what things He will show you in the deep things of darkness.

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

Remember...

I was reminded in my CWR weekend to remember.. How timely that was. To remember..

His Goodness..

His Provision...

His Timing..

His Love...

 

It is rather easy to forget yet He always calls us to remember.. And, even as I think about the impossibilities of things that are swimming in my head, I remember about His possibilities and how He turns things around.. He had done them and He will do them again in His Time. *grin*

 

Exciting times!.. :)

Boink!

Just reflecting back about the weekend.. and felt really pleased with the progress.. and surprised by confidence that He has given me without me realising it till there and then. And, that is so lovely.. To be surprised by Him once and again..

 

I just wonder.. even as I think about what is to come.. I really do not know what would entails but yet, again.. that word "trust".. :)

Who am I?

As I am thinking about the essay assignment on me.. I am asking the question of "who am I" Do I really know who am I? or just partially? Who does know me? I know God does, through and through.. and my parents, a little bit more than myself..

 

Do I know myself? Do I understand the things that I do or decide to do? Do I need to justify myself? As I ask these questions, it can be rather confusing! or is it not? Hmm..

 

I guess, since 2008, I have kinda think my life is really not mine anymore.. I felt I was dead and He resurrected me spiritually.. as it was He who have turned my life around.. from that traumatic experience..

 

Well.. 2013 will be an interest one as I head back to Malaysia for good.. I don't quite know for sure what to think or feel.. I don't know what I would be doing.. where I would be living.. and what does it mean to be living back home? It just isn't clear in my brain at the moment.. All I know is that it is time to leave and be back.. The details of the move back just isn't as clear as I would like it to be.. Hmm.. more to pray into.. trusting Him that He will show me.. in His right time..

 

The Lord reminded me this morning to be me.. just be myself and trust Him.. It is comforting and assuring to be reminded as such. He does loves me lots!.. Yippee..

Really? Truly?

Just been thinking and reflecting.. What is truly.. and what is really? in life.. Thinking of people that I have met.. People that I have gotten to know a little.. and a little more.. and vice versa.. Thinking of all these individuals that God has put into my life.. Each one is special and uniquely amazing to me in my life.. Basically, it is like cooking a nice yummy dish.. the salt, sugar, etc.. and God is the cook and chef.

What truly matters? That is the question in my head.. hmm...

You appear when I am weary..

The Lord knows... He knows me so well.. and he gave me the right words and assurance that I need most at the right time too!.. when I am feeling BLUE.. when I am feeling weary... He reminds me that He does remember me.. I was never forgotten..

Father, You know my hopes and dreams.. I talk about them so much.... yet, I am skeptical.. Help me in my skeptism and doubts.. please.. so that I could overcome and rejoice in You!.. and hope in You for what is to come.. and that I am not afraid to expect You to keep Your promise.. Thank You God.. :)


December 18, 2012
Being an Overcomer
By Os Hillman

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Ps 13:1-2

Have you ever heard someone jokingly say, "It's not easy being me?" This expression is poking fun at their unique personality or challenges they face in life. Well, it wasn't easy being King David.

 

His life was a life of extreme highs and extreme lows. He was a shepherd, a political leader, a builder, a prophet, a businessman, a warrior, a lover, a giver, a murderer and a worshiper. He must have been criticized by others as being hypocritical in his early career. In each of these roles he achieved things for God but he also failed God on many occasions. He had a creative-type personality, which is often very passionate with many mood swings. We see this side of him when he unabashedly danced before the Lord in front of his subjects almost naked (2 Sam 6:14).

 

When David wrote his psalms he was honest about what he was feeling. When he feared his enemies he expressed it. When he could not understand why God was silent, he expressed it as in the psalm above.

 

However, David never stayed in the place of despair. He often ended his psalms like this one. "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me" (Ps 13:5-6).

 

David chooses to focus on what God has done for him, not what He has not done. If you are waiting for a breakthrough with God, be honest with Him about your hopes and dreams. However, also affirm your faith and trust in Him to accomplish His purposes through your life. Be an overcomer.

Watch and Pray..

Watch Unto Prayer

Watch and pray, that you don't enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." - Matthew 26:41

We must learn both to watch and pray. It is good to watch. There is danger everywhere. An army in an enemy's country never rests a moment without its encircling line of pickets, keeping watch against danger at every point, and reporting instantly any hostile movement. We are living in the enemy's country, and cannot safely pass an hour without watching. But watching is not enough; for we are not able to keep ourselves when the danger comes. Hence we need also to pray asking God to keep us. But as watching without praying is not enough, neither is praying without watching. God means us to use our eyes and to keep our wits about us, as well as to cry to Him for help

We must not say that every one who makes a good profession, and then fails, is insincere or a hypocrite. Peter was neither when he made his bold avowal that he would never deny Christ, and that he could die with Him. He loved Christ, and meant to be true to Him. Peter's spirit was eager and earnest, but he was weak in himself; and because he relied only on himself, he was not able to hold out against the sore temptations which came upon him.

We are all just like Peter. If we are true Christians we mean to be faithful to our Lord. But sincerity is not enough. “The flesh is weak,” and we need to rest continually upon God for help to be true and faithful. If young Christians would learn this lesson they would not fall so easily. If the drunkard who resolves to reform learned it, he would be safer and stronger. No matter how good his intentions are, he is not able of himself to fulfil them. None of us are as good as we want to be and strive to be; and only through the mighty help of Christ can any of us live a true and noble life amid all the world's temptations and dangers.

Volitional..

We are volitional being.. we have the freedom to choose.. and because we are given the freedom to choose, there is also that sense of releasing others into that freedom.. 

One thing I am still learning very much is that no matter what choices we made or going to make, we are responsible for our choices. I need to remember this and not be terribly saddened by the "bad" choices that people make in their lives.. they are responsible for their choices. I guess, sometimes, the only way to learn is to experience the "bad" choices and learn from it. Maybe that is required in order to be understood.. 

Here, this is a timely reminder that I am not anyone's saviour or protector.. but I am a child of God who is learning to love the people my Big God loves.. even if it means so heart-aching to love.. His grace is sufficient for me.. 

Well.. one or/and more "not so good" experiences will not stop me from continue to press on in Him.. Be smart next time to trust God in trusting His people.. then He is my shield.. *wink*

Clock ticking..

It is just so easy to be entangled with the future of what is to come and forget to live the now.. And the clock is ticking.. 

I wonder about so many things and I wonder about the wonders that God has put in my life too.. His Love that wraps around me.. protects me.. comforts me.. assures me.. even when there are shattered dreams.. even when everything stand still.. His Love rises above all else and He loves me!

Letters being handed in today.. which makes it official now.. How did I feel? I felt torn of what I am going to leave.. I felt excited too of what is to come.. I guess, it is a decision that I have made; like with many other decisions.. there are always the other side of the coin.. It is hard.. It is mind blowing to my little brainy..

Will I regret it? I wonder.. and I think of the untraveled road.. I guess I will never know what it will be like if I stay on.. Yet, it feels really right to go home.. and I want to be there, be home.. be with my closest ones.. even if it means just for few months.. And, trusting God for what He has installed for me in the days to come. Trusting Him for the impossible.. 

Yes, that settles it.. in my heart. To live the now to the fullest with such bursting hope of the future in Him! *smile* 

A glimpse..

It was kinda nice to catch a glimpse.. of what is to come and it isn't really about where I would be in the coming days.. It is about where the Lord wants me to be..

I am excited to be part of Agape at this season of my life..
whether it is for a longer term or not,
I know He will tell me in due time.. :)
I am praying and waiting..
but I am very encouraged by this little card
that I received in the staff retreat..
The BIG dream of a day when everyone
knows someone who truly follows Jesus.

It is a BIG dream and only the Great Lord knows
and sees what it will be like..
I am just playing a little part in this big PICTURE of God's plan..
Thank You Father for giving me this opportunity
to be part of this at this time and this season..
The Heartbeat crucial position, I might say.

what a risky business..

I know I shouldn't be but I am amazed. Life is a risky business.. and that includes everything, really. And sometimes, it hits you before you actually recognize it. Guess that is what Risk is all about.

But, the beauty for me is that it is worth taking any sort of risk if these risks are taken in God and in accordance to His guidance and love. As risks are taken in Him, He will give me the Grace to face all things. Father God knows and He will bless! :)

A Smurfy 5th year, perhaps!

perhaps, indeed! :)

5th year in the UK..

I just can't believe it.. but it is my 5th year in the UK..

and I think this 5th year is a special one in the Lord! :)

Philippians 4:6

the dear Lord knows and He gives.. He is so wonderful! :)

and indeed.. 

I am learning doubly more this season to not worry about anything;

instead pray about everything.

Tell God what I need and give thanks for all that He has done.. 

and indeed I have experienced His Peace

which exceeds anything I can understand this very morning! (5th Sept)

and continue to experience His Peace in the days to come!.. *grin*

Looking forward to the staff retreat to meet everyone.. 

Fresh Start?

January 2013 for a Fresh Start? Exciting!

I am looking forward to that.. :)

oh boy!

I didn't realise but think I have accidentally deleted all my images on my blog of the past years! I am not sure how I would have done it.. but well.... looks like I have to start again! maybe, there are reasons for this..

Just felt the overwhelming feelings of getting a place.. and yet, the excitement.. Father, please guide me... guide us in our search! You know how it is with me, Lord.. 

oops...

Feeling a little under the weather.. I do hope I am not catching any bugs..

Father, I need to be well.. Please let me be well.. thank you.

This may be it or not?

Could they be my reason for me to decide?

I do miss them.

I do miss the many moments as they grow up..

Aww.. this is tough.. hmm..

Father, I need Your help here, pls..

Is it true?

I have been thinking.. 

this would be sweeeet..

ha.. emo!

but sweet kind of emo, really.. 

God is funny!

Why do I say that? coz He always humors me.. I read the devotion below today and found myself chuckling away.. *grin*

I was reflecting upon things.. words that people have said.. Things seem like clicking correctly in my little head.. things appear to be making sense for the first time.. and it gave me more space to wonder about things.. but it is rather humorous..  If only I could help to connect the dots.. maybe, someday, I would have the opportunity to do so..

Well, my spirit is up today.. it looks like it.... so, happy bunny I am!.. :)

When I Want to be Mean          By Lysa TerKeurst

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

I looked at the text message in complete disbelief. Why couldn't this person see how insensitive and hurtful they were being?

I don't know who made up the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can't ever hurt me." Either they had nerves of steel or they lived on a deserted island with no other people. Because not only do words hurt me, but they make me want to fight back and be mean, too.

Have you ever had a little situation with someone where you just knew you were right and they were wrong? Or at least you could make a really good case for your side of things?

Oh how I have this burning need to state my case in these kinds of situations. It's like an inner attorney rises up desperate to defend my rights and get the other person to see things my way. This is pretty normal, right?

Yes. But normal doesn't always mean good. Especially in light of today's key verse.

Colossians 2:6-7 reminds me, "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (NIV 1984)

I should live rooted in Jesus' teaching and overflow with thankfulness. The opposite of this is when I'm rooted in self-centered opinions and overflowing with grumbling. I need to let God show me how to see things from this other person's side and gain a different perspective. In doing so, I will be strengthened and taught.

Colossians 3:12-14 reminds me, "... as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (NIV 1984)

My job isn't to fix this person or make them see my side of things. My job is to obey God by offering an extension of the forgiveness I've been given. But I can also stay healthy in this situation by remembering forgiveness doesn't mean giving this person access in my life that sets me up for destructive patterns.

Finally, Colossians 3:17 reminds me, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (NIV 1984)

Everything I do and say tells a story of who I serve. If I act out of anger and spite, I give in to the ways of the enemy, spreading his darkness. If I honor the Lord with my actions, I serve to further the Name of Jesus and spread His light.

At the end of the day, honoring God leads to good things. Anything else leads to confusion, emotional exhaustion and a lack of good things.

I processed the text message mentioned above with my husband. He said something that brought much clarity. "Lysa, you know when you've taken the high road, God blesses you. You've seen these blessings over and over as you've made choices that honor God. So chose a blessing today and save yourself the emotional turmoil of trying to prove you're right."

He's a smart man.

I know this isn't easy stuff. I'm having to live it in the midst of feeling hurt. But I'm also feeling more at peace being able to see another perspective—a healthier perspective—a biblical perspective. And I'm really excited about the blessings that are surely coming my way.

Suggested Prayer:
Dear Lord, You know the hurtful words and actions that have been pummeled my way. Please give me Your strength to not retaliate, but instead to react based on Your Truth. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

---

James 1:19-20

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.