What is next?

This question has been in my mind all the time.. and I wonder.. I think I could even have scribbled about this too.. Can't remember and I didn't check.. hehe.. Anyway, day passes by real fast and just boggles my mind how fast it is..... So, what have I been doing?

Still waiting.. for my visa.. and waiting for news of the job I applied to.. Wonder where will I be working? Would I be working permanently? or signing contracts? Hmm.. Really do not know what God has installed for me.. I think reality will set in even more once I get my two years visa.. For now, the feeling is like.. "hmm.. floating".. uncertainty.. sense of "not sure"..

It just confirms even more that waiting period is tough.. the sense of not working at the moment just doesn't seem to be acceptable.. and yet, rushing into doing something doesn't seem to be right too.. So, kinda irony feeling.. kinda strange.. what is God saying in all these? what important lessons I am to learn from all these? How should I response?

I have been thinking.. I have been asking.. and I remembered the story of Joseph.. I remembered the story of Esther.. I was reminded of the story of Daniel.... How would I go beyond my current state and push forward to the next level? What are the things that I am to do? and even today as I was travelling in the bus, I was in deep thoughts... about many things.. and I was observing people too.. People on the bus.. the way how they carry themselves.. I am experimenting too.. what are the things that create grounds for people to talk, to smile.. Just amazed to see things.. things that I would probably not able to see if I am not on the bus.. On the bus, we can see many different type of people from all sides.. all levels of society..

Would I dare? I desire much to do many things.. and yet sometimes, it takes courage to do them.. and yet it feels right.. Should I? Would I? I guess that is how God wires me to be.. to be creative in different aspects of life.. to be curious.. to be willing to try..

Oh.. the best part is God is with me all the time...... and I could just do anything.. or don't do anything..... :D of course, within His boundary...... heee........ loving life.. loving people....... aww..... just brilliant!.. *wink*

Nerve wrecking?

This feeling does come at times.. the nerve wrecking feeling.. it can be pretty annoying when it comes.. ooh.. How to deal with it? Hmm.. from my own experience, I would go to Abba Father and surrender them to Him.. but of course, there are times that I didn't do that allow it to "conquer" for many moments and I was shattered after that!.. sigh.. But I am learning from experiences not to allow it to bother me.. not allow myself to wallow in it and be shattered!.. Sometimes, I succeed.. Sometimes, I didn't.. but guess that is pretty normal because, after all, I am still human!.. and not perfect..

But basically.. it is alot to do with choices.. my choices.. coz as the feelings come which they will come, it is actually my choice how it is going to affect me.. Sound easy? Hmm.. it can be if only we don't complicate it!.. hehe.. I try looking at it as simple as I could.. and to make deliberate choices.. and trusting that God is always there to prompt me.. to remind me.. Being me, there are times, I didn't hear it.. didn't catch it.. and then I fell.. a little.. and.. oops.. well, nevermind, I could get up again!.. That is the beauty of God's grace and mercy.. *grin*

Guess.. that's life.. hor? with its ups and downs.... with its excitements and pitfall experiences... but the most important key is to stay close with God.. walk close with God.. others may fall and tumble, others may fail and disappoint.. all else may fail but God will never!.. and I am holding this KEY super closely to my heart.... and I pray that all my family, friends and loved ones would do so as well...... what treasure it is.... *wink*